Can you justify cheating on your partner because they don”t want sex?
Have you ever heard your spouse or long-term partner justify their infidelity by saying they don”t want sex? Or have you tried to justify your own affair with similar excuses?
Contents of the article:
Why do people in committed romantic relationships decide to become homewreckers? What is their thinking pattern? Today, New York-based psychologist Laurie Gottlieb examines one anonymous story of infidelity and asks: “Can you justify your partner”s infidelity because you want sex?” and tries to answer the question: “Can a partner”s betrayal be justified by sex?”
Partner”s Unwillingness and Infidelity: An Expert”s Opinion
Laurie Gottlieb is a New York-based psychologist who works online and answers questions from readers, helping them understand their problems, big and small. If a woman writes to her by mail: “I was married for 25 years to a man who became depressed due to numerous sexual problems, and now our relationship is completely sexless. He no longer makes any attempts to improve the situation. We are good friends and parents, and from the outside our family can be called ideal, but there is no mention of romance. On the advice of my therapist, I found a wonderful man in a similar situation. After a month of communication, we became good friends. And now. We are lovers. Sex with him is the best thing about me. He brings me so much pleasure and thanks to him I began to feel alive again. I can also describe my relationship with this man as the best romantic and passionate relationship I have ever had.
No emotional troubles, just laughter, constant attention and care. The whole story made me happy, and now I am almost not angry with my husband. However, a small part of this tragedy haunts me. Recently, my husband was offered his dream job on the other side of the country. changes, but he understood that such a possibility would be more truly ridiculous, refusing to fall once in his life and being the least stupid. Therefore, in the midst of a pandemic, we must move to a new state of being. And I. Besides the fact that I am leaving a great job and friends, my parents, brothers and sisters are depriving my children of everything they love and know. I tried to explain the situation to him, but he was furious and said that my husband was a monster.
Of course, I tried. Both my lover and my wife felt better. I reassured him of my initial promise to try to smooth things over. While he was reconsidering his plan, I came up with a multitude of reasons for the second reason: he was a monster. All in vain. When I expressed a desire to stay, my husband jokingly said, “Are you really worried about your lover?” I’m 100% sure it was a joke, but… Then I felt insane fear, confusion, and unbearable pain. I’m hopeless. I finally found a man who enriched my life with amazing emotions, but now I have to say goodbye to him. I feel so out of control. I imagine a new life, relatively joyless, lonely, isolated, and most importantly!
My lover will never speak to me again—he”s made that clear—and obviously we can”t see each other. And all this longing and sadness is a secret I”ve lived through Read also: my wife caught me cheating—how can I justify it?
Mostly, in a marriage, someone thinks that one day everything will lead to cheating on one side or the other. But sometimes it actually does happen. And when does that happen?
How can I cope with a wounded heart that holds a secret? How can I stop feeling guilty about so many betrayals? I don”t want to blame myself for what my husband”s behavior pushed me to do. However, I doubt I have the right to be angry about it. Because maybe I deserve this for choosing to secretly cheat and continuing to perpetuate this cycle of family deception until now.” My lover will never speak to me again—he made that clear—and obviously we can”t see each other. And all this longing and sadness is a secret I”ve lived through.
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