Cunnilingus Day — how and when to celebrate the world holiday
Yes, it exists. It is celebrated on April 14. How this happened and where this miracle came from — the article you are reading now will tell you about it.
Contents of the article:
History of appearance
A long time ago, in quiet and calm Ancient Greece. Or not. Water, earth, fire and wind. Once upon a time, the four nations lived in peace, but everything changed when the Fire Nation went to war. In this case, Fire Nation is a day of sucker and steak (yes, it even exists).
Seriously (who Googles “cunnilingus day” to read serious, scientifically proven information? Oh, what a wonderful world), it all started a long time ago when a very smart marketer came up with a way to sell flowers, chocolates, and stuffed animals. Fast forward to Valentine”s Day. By the way, according to one legend, he descended from an ancient Roman Christian saint named Valentine.
He lived in Ancient Rome during the early Christian era and performed secret weddings for legionnaires — local soldiers who were forbidden to marry because their main goal was to die a glorious death for the glory of Caesar and Rome. (This has now changed radically.)
Of course, he was captured, captured and executed, but on the other hand, love conquers everything in the world and always finds secret ways to unite hearts, so the holiday of love was named after him. “Wow, how romantic!” “- one very smart marketer thought happily. People love romance, especially girls! Let”s come up with lots of marketing strategies to sell more romance-related products and empty the wallets of our customers!”
“No!” The men screamed in horror. In Russia, in particular, a series of holidays followed with empty wallets. First, on March 8 (bring out and place bouquets of tulips, trinkets and don’t forget to wash) there is cooking on at least one day out of 365 days a year), and after a miserable month, already on February 14.
“No way,” the men decided. We didn’t sign up for this. Where is our Valentine’s Day? We can avoid giving these flowers, sweets and red donkeys that are just trying to pretend that they have a heart. We want something simple and understandable: good sex and a piece of meat.
Then, in 2012, a radio DJ named Thomas Berdy heard their prayers and literally proclaimed a new holiday on the airwaves—Blow Job and Steak Day. Men spread the word, and it eventually became very popular thanks to internet pranks (which were still going on in 2012) and word of mouth. Blow Job and Steak Day is marketed as the opposite of Valentine”s Day—”Valentine”s Day for Men”—and encompasses what it”s named after: a good blow job and a good steak.
Women decided it wasn”t for them. And, dear men, that”s a very sexist approach! Valentine”s Day is a day for lovers, a day for couples, a day for two people, a man and a woman (women and women, men and men; according to one version, the same Saint Valentine simply married a same-sex couple). The Legionnaire couple was tolerant in all respects. How did you decide it was a girl”s day?
Read also: Condom Day — the history of the holiday and how to best celebrate it
Of the many unusual holidays that exist, Condom Day is perhaps one of the strangest and most unusual. Of course, it”s not the kind of holiday that.
Girls give you gifts too, and you take care to look beautiful. Then you get comfortable, relax, and come up with a one-person holiday where everything will be just yours: you”ll get a steak and a blowjob. If so, we”ll come up with a similar holiday for you!
Almost a similar message appeared on an erotic blog called Mr. Naughty Porn for Women. As with Blowjob and Steak Day, information about the new holiday spread across the internet, the holiday became popular, and various couples from all over the world began celebrating it, even in Russia.
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How to celebrate?
“A very interesting question,” you say. “The most important thing is that the answer is not at all obvious.”
And you are absolutely right! It is believed that on this day you should give girls a cake and perform cunnilingus. “Have your cake and I”ll eat you”, so to speak (“eat” in English means both “to eat” and “to do cunnilingus”, the same as a man “eating” a woman”s vulva). But you can always come up with something interesting, right? So, here are some ideas for celebrating Cake and Cunnilingus Day.
- Order your lady not just a cake, but a cake or cakes in the shape of a vulva. Yes, they exist. They”re usually cherry or strawberry, and yes, they”re delicious. And on the day of a blowjob, you can order a cake in the shape of a male genital organ, and the lady will show how she eats it. You”ll take some fun photos at the same time.
- Seafood dinner! For example, with oysters and mussels. They say that eating them increases potency and improves cunnilingus skills. Well, just try to eat this mussel — you’ll train your tongue so that later you’ll be able to tie your tongue in a bow without any problems.
- Go to a cafe and eat your fill of sweets.
- Give the girl a bouquet of irises. Why irises? And you googled what they look like. Doesn”t remind you of anything? Can be done with grapefruits. Cut in half. Oh la la.
- Why not tell a girl how much you love to caress her, how damn good she tastes, and you just go crazy when she moans and you love how good she feels?
- Wake up a girl with cunnilingus. It”s better to agree in advance. No, this will not spoil the surprise, but will create a pleasant anticipation. Not all girls like such sudden surprises; some actually like to sleep longer.
- Understand female anatomy, understand what the clitoris is, where it is located, and then please the girl with the practical application of this knowledge.
- Fall into bed all day, watching movies and eating sweets, because cunnilingus day is just a joke and a conventional holiday, another reason to spend time together and please your loved one.
Cunnilingus and Cake Day is the answer to Fellatio and Steak Day. It is celebrated on April 14, one month after Fellatio Day. In honor of this, you can please your beloved with a pie, cunnilingus, or any other fun and cute way that she likes. Good luck!
