How to cope with STOSN yourself and where did it come from?
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Expectation of sexual failure syndrome, or EFS as it is temporarily called, is a mental rather than a physiological disorder. In this case, the man is considered physically healthy, but an incorrect psychological attitude towards sexual intercourse prevents him from relaxing. STOSN is the most common reason why representatives of the stronger half turn to sexologists. Can I cope with the problem on my own, without a doctor?
Contents of the article:
How to understand that you have STOSN
This process can be initiated by the initial loss of fire, which is not a big deal, because the human body is not a machine and can sometimes break down. However, each person reacts differently to such failures. In most cases, problems do not arise from scratch, and perfectionists who are accustomed to doing everything perfectly and not giving in to mistakes are prone to this problem. Suspicious and surprising men with certain psychological traumas can also fall into the category of people in STOSN.
Sometimes women can develop the syndrome of repulsion from men and they feel, by accident or on purpose, that he is not talking or is experiencing certain health problems. Subsequently, the dangerous thought that he will not succeed begins to haunt the representative of the stronger sex before each sexual intercourse.
Then a trip to the doctor begins, undergoing a mountain of tests, a waste of time and money. It is worth noting that in people suffering from STOSN, erections become stable when accompanied by self-satisfaction. In this case, we can conclude that the male reproductive system works, but is not necessary.
In addition, people who watch pornography too often are prone to moaning and have a stable erection when watching erotic videos, but when it comes to sex with real women, there is a loss of fire. This is due to the discrepancy between fantasies and real life and does not evoke in women such necessary emotions as pornographic videos.
If you have similar problems, you can try to solve them yourself using special psychological techniques.
How to cure STOSN — effective tactics without doctors
There are many ways to combat STOSN, but it’s worth starting with the simplest and most obvious.
- Conversation with your partner
Not all men want to talk to their girlfriends about such intimate issues. This is due to stereotypes imposed by society, but you shouldn”t be caught up in them. Be honest with your partner. If she”s rational and genuinely feels about you, he”ll react to what he hears completely normally. The main point of these frank conversations is that they relieve tension. This leads to anxiety.
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Of course, normal sex with a normal partner is wonderful! However, in today”s world, it can be difficult to arrange a personal life and find a worthy partner.
Even if the mishap repeats, the girlfriend is already prepared for it and won”t react to you, if not completely. Furthermore, you”ll be less nervous and less likely to blame yourself for the failure. Worrying is normal, but the most important thing is that you have the opportunity to share your experiences with loved ones.
Self-imposed a sex ban for a week or two. Explain this to your partner. Love is permitted, but it”s important not to escalate to intercourse. If the prohibition is violated, hold on for as long as necessary. Typically, under these circumstances, intercourse can proceed without problems. Then, the person feels that the anxious thoughts that tormented them are behind them, and the pathology itself is cured.
- “Return of the Honeymoon”
This method is necessary to disassociate the bed with sex in the male psyche. They need to spend as much time as possible lying in bed. Cuddling, reading, watching TV, and giving each other massages. However, all these activities should not have a sexual connotation.
Similar methods are used for 20-30 days. Soon after, the idea of ”lack of responsibility” easily reemerges in the psyche.
How to get rid of the fear of failure | simple technique
- Dialogue with your partner
In this way, partners talk honestly about their expectations from sex, and also share their desires on the topic of preliminary love relationships. He then makes a woman”s wish list and a man”s wish list. Each partner fulfills the wishes of the other. This method allows you to overcome uncertainty and discover a new aspect of obtaining sexual pleasure without intercourse.
It is worth mentioning right away that this method is used only with partners in whom you are 100% confident. Many people get an erection while wearing a condom. Try doing it without it and the problem will probably go away.
- Erotic massage
A massage given by a partner can not only relax and relieve anxiety, but also strengthen the filling of the bloody penis. In this case, sexual desire intensifies, and thoughts about one’s own shortcomings fade into the background.
- Take your time
If you are used to doing everything quickly and decisively, try changing tactics. Move slowly and deliberately, long preliminary love affairs — all this can restore your confidence in your own abilities and give your partner more pleasant sensations.
- Aphrodisiac Products
There is such food for the night before sex. I treat myself and my partner to a romantic dinner. Some of these foods include: seafood, spices, red grapes, honey, nuts and real dark chocolate. You can also indulge in a glass of high quality red wine. This drink not only relieves stress, but can also slightly distract you from anxious thoughts.
Aphrodisiacs promote the production of testosterone, increase the duration of sexual intercourse and increase the hardness of the erection. These foods should be regularly included in the diet to improve sexual health as well as overall physical health.
