In what cases will it be justified to forgive your wife’s infidelity?
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They lived without sadness: everyday life, children, annual vacations to the sea, Sunday trips to their parents’ country house. And here”s news that you don”t expect — my wife has changed. Your world has been completely turned upside down and you have a lot of thoughts running through your head. What to do? How to proceed? Forgive or let go?
Contents of the article:
What do the numbers say?
My first thought was why me and why did this affect my family. First, understand that you are not alone. Family psychologists guarantee: every day at least one client has a problem with a partner’s infidelity.
She cheats on about 70 percent of men and 30 percent of women. The partners of married women are predominantly disabled men, about 60%. Women prefer to see married men as lovers — 70%.
Due to the high indicators, the conclusion is disappointing. Russia ranks among the first in the number of divorces over the past two years, which is a consequence of the large number of divorces in the country. These statistics are provided by a family psychologist based on interviews, anonymous surveys and the number of clients with similar problems.
Why does the wife cheat?
The first is dissatisfaction with sex.
A situation when a woman is not satisfied with the quality of her intimate life. The reasons are as follows.
A wife may cheat due to lack of self-confidence.
It even sounds strange. It seems that only confident women can be judged for infidelity. Psychologists explain that if a wife lacks tenderness and attention from her husband, she will end up in the arms of another man. Women increase their self-esteem in such a way as to prove to others and themselves that they can still turn heads.
Infidelity for revenge.
For women this is often the main reason. Having learned about the marital relationship on the side, the wife decides to commit the corresponding betrayal. Psychologists have noticed: women who are not ready to divorce their husbands do so, but want to ease the pain of resentment.
The appearance of love feelings for another man.
This reason has something to do with dissatisfaction. Women can fall in love again. These are truly powerful feelings, and old relationships can be broken, and new, happy families can be created. However, this happens rarely. Experts assure that in most cases, there is no underlying love issue, just a fleeting affair. Women cannot succumb to the temptation to enter into this relationship, but they are not ready to leave their husbands.
Forced separation from a spouse.
Another vacation, a business trip, a departure—how many situations require spouses to spend time apart? These are the events that provoke betrayal.
But remember that all women are different. Some wives remain faithful to their lovers for years, while others cannot bear to be separated for even a few days.
The desire for new sensations.
This is where excitement and a sense of adventure come together. Few women cheat on their wives for this reason. After marriage, women become emotionally cold, and their communication with their husbands is limited to domestic matters, with no sparkle in their eyes. After this, a woman may seek out passionate affairs elsewhere.
Read also: When can infidelity be forgiven?
Few can forgive the betrayal of a loved one. Infidelity destroys trust, kills faith in the future, and destroys families. However, sometimes it does happen.
Random connection.
Alcohol is often the culprit here, absolving the husband of guilt. Parties, holidays, and corporate events involving large amounts of alcohol can lead to a breakup between husband and wife. In such situations, infidelity is almost always a one-time occurrence. The memory of the affair evokes shame, and it”s difficult to understand how it could have happened.
Forgive or let go?
The reasons are obvious, but what can be done? How should we proceed?
First, address the problem calmly. If you learn of betrayal, don”t rush to take drastic measures. You need to accept the information, digest it, remove the emotions, and deal with the bottom line. How do you feel about your wife? Is she remorseful? Are you ready to try again?
Should I forgive my wife”s betrayal? how to forgive a cheating girlfriend or wife?
The issue of infidelity shouldn”t be hushed up. You can seek help from a family psychologist. It”s important that both you and the person you”ve chosen can speak out. Men often suppress negative feelings and suffer from prolonged depression, followed years later by a stroke or heart attack. Or they may have addictions (alcohol, drugs). Under their influence, a man may raise a hand against a woman and recall her unhealthy relationship.
Saving the family for the sake of the children? A noble thought. But in practice, this isn”t enough. Scandals, endless accusations, loud talk of divorce—the children will be the first to witness it and will feel it all themselves. Such family problems significantly increase, in addition to the wife”s infidelity. At a minimum, the psyche of the spouse and children is damaged. In the future, the heirs risk being left without a normal and happy relationship.
Divorce may be the best option. Yes, the mother and father don”t live together. The husband regularly visits the heir, spends time with him, and gives him love. The wife can live peacefully and communicate with the children. Such decisions are more beneficial. Is it possible to avoid divorce in the hopes that time will help? Again, not an option. And if time doesn”t provide the answer, the relationship deteriorates even further, and the best solution is separation.
But time can heal. If both spouses are ready to save the family, are willing to change, and are determined to work on the relationship, there is hope for a future.
When is forgiveness possible?
When can you forgive
Psychologists recommend saving a marriage based on the following criteria:
The man still feels a strong love for the unfaithful woman;
- The husband sees his wife”s sincere remorse, forgives her, is ready to let go of this pain, and does not bring up the affair in arguments;
- The woman is ready to accept punishment for infidelity and can impose her own sanctions without waiting for her husband”s decision;
- The wife agrees to cease contact with her lover, as well as with all other men (except relatives);
- The wife is ready to devote more attention to the children, the home, and her husband.
- When is it best to let go?
When is it better to let go?
- The unfaithful spouse is unwilling to establish an intimate life with her legal partner or avoids sex altogether;
- The woman does not want to have a child, even though her husband asks her to;
- The reason for the wife”s infidelity was a long-term, intense affair;
- The wife denied it, did not confess to her husband about the vicious relationship, contrary to the facts, or is not going to confess, although the husband has long known about the betrayal;
- The woman does not want to break off relations with her lover, does not delete his contacts on social networks, does not allow her husband to take her phone, continues to relax without her husband, hides her whereabouts;
- The wife behaves hysterically, turns the children against her husband, and talks about divorce herself.
- Should I forgive my wife for cheating on me? Everyone must answer this question for themselves. If this problem has happened to you, know that you are not alone. You can find a way out of any situation.
How to forgive betrayal? about his wife”s betrayal
