Stopped wanting my husband after he gained weight
What should you do if your loved one stops calling you sexually attractive? Is it possible to avoid a breakup and bring passion back into your life?
Contents of the article:
Is love alive?
What if I never loved him? Or am I just a terrible person? Is it possible to stop feeling attracted to your husband just because he has gained weight? I should be ashamed!”
Losing attraction to a stubborn partner does not mean you never loved him. Passion tends to fade over time and under the influence of certain circumstances. This is the harsh truth of life. Many couples experience a roller coaster ride in long-term relationships—desire increases, then fades, then increases again. This happens — the desire to be with someone else intensifies and then disappears.
In addition, remember that sexual interest is associated not only with the appearance of the partner, but also with forgetfulness. Much depends on you, or more precisely, on your emotional state. Does it only matter if your spouse has gained a few extra pounds? Perhaps there are other issues in your relationship that are bothering you?
Let”s get back to the fact that you are overweight. What is an acute set of connected kilograms? Perhaps your husband has become more passive and lazy than before? If you first fell in love with an ambitious, proactive and energetic man who led an active life and took care of his appearance, your emotional cooling is understandable.
However, losing attraction to your spouse does not make you a terrible person. Accept this fact and give up self-flagellation — it will not help either you, him, or your relationship.
What to do?
It”s unlikely that your man won”t notice significant changes in his appearance. Perhaps this bothers him himself, he just doesn’t notice it. How do you start a conversation on such a deep topic, is it even worth doing?
First, pay attention to how your husband”s life has changed. Perhaps the weight gain is due to the fact that he began to leave the house and abandoned his favorite hobbies and sports that used to bring him joy? If this is exactly what is happening, then it is worth starting a conversation about.
Darling, I love you very much. I can”t help but notice that you”ve changed lately. Your previous hobbies have faded into the background, and you spend more time at home. It makes me worry about you.” Subsequently, the topic of sex may also be brought up. “We feel like we”re having a lot less sex lately, and I”d like to change that.”
Listen carefully to your spouse when he responds to you. And don”t get angry with him if he gets defensive or denies the problem. This is a natural reaction.
Read also: My wife wants sex with another man, what should I do?
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Can I tell him everything honestly? Can I say that he doesn”t excite me anymore?
Of course you have the right to do this. You have the right to be angry at him and at yourself, offended and disappointed that your sex life has suddenly gone downhill. But be prepared for your spouse”s reaction to her words.
If you”re not ready to leave him but don”t want to hide your feelings, you can say things like There”s no romance in our relationship like there used to be. And I feel that my attraction to you is weakening.
Sometimes it seems like we are more roommates than husband and wife. It worries and upsets me.”
Then it all depends on your husband”s reaction to your words. Has he noticed any cooling between you? How would he propose to remedy this situation? Is he willing to put in the effort to keep the dying flames of passion alive in your relationship?
Now that various emotions are boiling inside you, try not to take them out on your husband or his body. Do everything that depends on you and give your husband support, love, and yourself freedom from guilt.
Reddit: is being overweight a death sentence? Reddit
The woman stopped wanting a man
Before moving on to the most interesting user comment on this topic:
- “I honestly tell my husband that I love him and accept the fact that his body changes with age, but I am not ready to put up with the fact that he is putting his health at risk (he has a stomach and a heart attack at hand) and our intimate life.
Everyone wants the person next to them to see themselves in physical, emotional and spiritual senses. And relationships, as a rule, require some effort. If he tries to do something but fails, that”s a different conversation.
Make sure you eat and start doing fun physical activities together.” SandSubstantial9285.
- “I myself am in a similar situation and am mainly worried about my husband’s health. Besides, I may not always be attracted to passive and lazy people. This is an unattractive quality. Also. Damn, I try to do it for you, try to look good. It”s also disrespectful to our marriage — there”s no effort involved,” Meltow.
If you push him, he will get angry with you. How would you feel about yourself if someone constantly reminded you that you are not good enough on your own, that you need to eat differently? I know myself — I would feel like crap.
A person must decide for himself whether he is satisfied with himself now. It”s not up to you to decide” — Crushcrushcrush18.
I know people who are overweight and underweight. They know something needs to change if they want to lose weight. Constantly remind them to lose weight and remind them that you are unhappy with their appearance” — PurplesOrbet5829.
- “Have you asked your spouse if he has depression/stress? Has he always eaten the way he does now? There are so many reasons why people may gain weight! And it is very difficult to lose him.
You must be mentally prepared to lose weight. Perhaps he is not ready yet. Be with him and support him. Prepare healthy meals and offer healthy alternatives, such as his favorite fast food.” — Turktink.
