3 important steps to enjoy sex again
Lack of intimacy in a couple is the most common topic with which partners come to sexologists. If you haven”t had sex for a long time, it can be difficult to get back to the subject. There is a feeling of rigidity and limitation. Persevering alone can ruin your relationship with your partner and can also lead to serious mental exhaustion. 3 important steps will help you deal with the problem.
Contents of the article:
Desire sometimes disappears
Man lives in a dynamic world, and everything around him moves at great speed. Not only the reality around us changes, but also our inner world. And if yesterday we were 100% sure of the truth, then today everything can change dramatically. This happens in sexual relationships.
We may stop wanting partners. There are many reasons for this. They are usually divided into several types.
Physiological
These include hormonal changes, serious illnesses, surgical interventions and aging of the body. At 50 I have less sex than at 30-40.
Stress
In modern life, stress awaits a person in all areas of activity — work, personal relationships, hobbies, etc. At first glance, its harmful effects are barely noticeable, but over time, serious problems appear.
The person gradually begins to become neurotic. Neuroticism is associated with the loss of habitual preferences for pleasure, such as sex.
Relationship crisis and personal crisis
There are situations when a person stops wanting a partner, but the other person does not lose his attractiveness. In such relationships, energy is depleted and lacking; it was developed in the process of interaction with each other. Most often this happens in destructive relationships. There is mistrust, bouts of fear and misunderstanding.
When admiration for each other disappears in a relationship, problems often arise in the sexual sphere. Partners stop listening and respecting each other. People in such situations may stop taking care of themselves: gain excess weight, not consider it necessary to dress neatly and perform hygiene procedures.
In such situations, it is important not to shift the problem, but to try to solve it through joint efforts, without moving away from each other.
3 steps to pleasure from sex
In order to enjoy intimacy again, you need to not only deal with your physical condition, but also take care of your emotional background. Three main steps will help with this:
- Meditation: Identify Your Basic Needs
Today, meditation is used to improve various areas of human life. It allows you to put important points in place, acts as a retreat, helps you identify important debris and eliminate unnecessary ones.
Simply put, meditation is a release for our body and mind. This is especially important for those who have not had sex for a long time and have not experienced desire. If this does not happen, the brain is too busy with urgent matters to give the body the desired impulses, and therefore cannot wait for the desired orgasm.
Read also: How to have a threesome so that everyone enjoys it?
Trichotomy is three pairs. The desire to try cubed strawberries can be caused by several reasons. If the couple has been together for a long time, this is an opportunity.
If you are tormented by abstract thoughts during intercourse, it”s time to deal with them. Meditation brings a person back to the present moment and helps to live in the now, rather than in the future or past actions.
Meditation not only energizes you, but also relieves stress and helps you feel happy.
It is important to practice a conscious attitude towards everything that happens in life. Before sex, you should lie in bed without clothes, paying attention to how you feel at certain moments. Feel how your body reacts when you touch the bedding. It is the awareness of this fact that affects our pleasant sensations during sex.
Meditation can help you identify needs that for some reason have not been addressed and continue to bother you and prevent you from enjoying life.
- Identify three ways to achieve new goals
Once a goal has been identified through meditation, it is necessary to determine how to achieve it. It is important to emphasize three ways.
Sexologist Rumyantseva | 3 steps towards desire
First, goals must be formulated clearly and specifically. To do this, you need to set digital and time parameters. Once your goals are clearly and specifically set, you will understand how to move towards them.
This approach will help you stay on track. If you set abstract goals, it will be difficult for you to achieve them, since there is no clear understanding of which direction to move.
Second approach: challenge yourself. Edwin Locke and Harry Latham have been studying goal achievement for over 35 years. They recommend setting challenging goals for yourself. This is not easy to achieve, but it is possible. Overly simple goals do not require effort from a person and therefore do not maintain his interest for a long time.
Unrealistic goals also work and have motivating properties. If a person does not notice tangible results from his activities, he quickly stops doing what he was doing and retreats from his goal.
Difficult but achievable tasks make every successful person proud.
The third way: break a large goal into several smaller ones. If you”re not sure you”ll reach your goal, try breaking it down into smaller ones. If this is not done, a person may begin to be attacked by fear and self-doubt. At this point, the brain can begin to deceive its owner and convince him that at this stage of life everything is fine and he does not need to leave his comfort zone for the sake of the unknown.
Don”t worry, everyone has these thoughts. This is how the human brain works. To get rid of fear, you need to break your big goals into smaller ones and achieve them, gradually moving towards greater achievements.
- Do something as quickly as possible to achieve your chosen goal.
Theory is certainly important for understanding the material, but now you need to move on to practice. Once your goals are set, start doing something to achieve them. People often look for reasons why they can”t do something. Don”t look for reasons why you don”t feel sexy today or why you don”t feel good. Accept it and do something good for your partner.
If the problem has already been identified, do not remain silent. You need to talk to your partner about what”s going on. Even if the topic is as awkward and heartbreaking as lack of sexual desire, it needs to be discussed so as not to further distance you from your partner.
The longer a person is without intimacy, the more he gets used to doing without it. In this case, the partner begins to lose interest in intimacy, has little interest in the other half and does not want to pay attention to her.
But remember that the best aphrodisiac is sex. Intimacy is the hourly key to sexual desire, helping to produce hormones and trigger sexual desire.
