4 fears that are better to get rid of if you want cool sex
Hollywood “sells” beautiful pictures about how to fall in love one day and live happily ever after with the one you choose. Nothing about Hollywood being sometimes uncomfortable in bed, or how fickle she is when her partner feels like he”s doing something wrong.
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Instead, we are taught that when two people fall in love, they literally merge and become one person. And, accordingly, all fears and uncertainty simply magically evaporate.
But in reality this is far from the case. After all, in addition to the wonderful qualities of your chosen one, with whom you once fell in love, he has many shortcomings and fears (just like you, by the way).
Sexual freedom
True sexual freedom only comes when your fears collide with your partner”s fears. Why is it so difficult to get rid of them? Because when you are afraid of something, you are afraid to admit it.
But the closer you retreat, the harder it is to admit your fear. A false sense of security develops when you hide because your partner doesn”t see your hidden fear. But then you run into real confusion. Because the feeling of resentment and dissatisfaction increases. Liberation from fear only happens when you openly share it.
Learn to face your fears and see them. Admitting that you both have a lot of doubts, insecurities and uncertainties can increase your passion as a couple. Sex can be a powerful motivator to explore areas in which each of you feels vulnerable.
And don”t let anyone convince you against it. Sexual freedom is a great power! The more fear you have, the braver you will feel when you move past it.
What is the main fear most people have about sex and intimacy?
4 fears in sex
- Fear of abandonment and loss of independence.
Each of us has a deep-rooted animal fear of loneliness. This fear is combated by another serious fear—being enslaved. You don”t want to feel abandoned, but you don”t want to feel dependent on your partner either. These conflicting feelings often arise during sex.
Talking about this can lead to your partner ignoring your words or abandoning the relationship (and then you”ll be stuck!). Or they may treat you as if you”re emotionally immature and completely in need of their care.
This internal conflict cannot be circumvented. First, you must prove to yourself that it”s safe to risk sharing these conflicting feelings with yourself. When you discuss this conflict openly and compassionately with each other, you can come to a mutually beneficial and mutually beneficial solution.
- Insecurity is frightening to others.
It”s normal to feel some fear when your desires and sexual needs differ from those of your partner. It”s easy to make excuses or dismiss this as abnormal. Overcoming these fears takes time, and the best results are only possible in a deeply committed relationship.
Also read: 19 Reasons You Don”t Want Sex Anymore and Their Solutions
Don”t put off addressing the problem. Perhaps it”s much simpler than you think. 19 Reasons You”re Not Desiring and How to Fix It. Sex is very.
When you gradually reveal your true desires to each other (eager to explore new sexual realms) and are seen completely naked for the first time, you want to experience indescribable sensations.
In the best sexual situations, sexual discovery is akin to peeling the core of a lightbulb. Each layer reveals a more primal and intense fear underneath. Then, you slowly and smoothly move through the layers together, rather than rushing toward each other.
Remember that two people don”t merge. Your sexual desires and your unique fears can overlap. The remaining two “separate blocks” can truly enhance your intimate life.
The secret is to maintain your character and boundaries while embracing your partner”s differences and desires. Only then can your sex life truly be amazingly harmonious.
- Fear of not pleasing others.
Shame and anxiety tear you away from the “present moment” and distract you from what”s happening. This blocks much of your available pleasure and deprives you of the incredible wealth of intimate experiences. When it comes to sex, it”s important to know and accept that you deserve the same attention as your partner.
Self-care isn”t selfish. So instead of focusing solely on the need to deliver unbearable bliss to your partner, relax and figure out what truly turns you on. Try to engage in more activities to experience more pleasure.
Brother for brother blood for blood sorry these are the traditions
Instead of experiencing complete bliss, you lose your mind, “work” in bed, and evaluate your partner”s efforts according to your subconscious ideal criteria. To overcome this fear and anxiety, you need to learn to silence the chatter of your “inner critic” and feel all the thrills of the present moment.
- Fear that passion will fade.
Long-term sexual satisfaction is very different from initial infatuation. Infatuations can ignore deep-seated fears for about six months of a new relationship. They are also, to some extent, blind to their partner”s shortcomings. Passionate love is a well-documented state of the brain: our insecure, anxious, and critical thinking systems shut down, and the love circuitry revs up. It”s a lot of fun, but it leaves us unaware of how bold we are without the excess dopamine, estrogen, oxytocin, and testosterone coursing through us.
Make sure that initial infatuation is guaranteed to happen. But that doesn”t mean passionate sex is still impossible. You and your partner need to work harder at it.
How to Share Your Sexual Fears
How to Share Your Sexual Fears
Forget about “you”; instead, use other pronouns, like “I,” in your speech. Make it clear to your partner that these are just your fears. He has no role in creating them. When your man opens up about himself for the first time, don”t share his fears. Wait until the next time you fall in love and avoid using the “I” statement about your fears. Or wait until you feel close enough to fully trust each other.
Simply discussing the issues that concern you can help you overcome your sexual fears. Communication is crucial, even if it”s just an open conversation with your partner or a therapist. Trusting your partner can even help you feel more confident.
This could also be a good opportunity for you and your man to think about solutions to completely relieve the tension. For example, discuss why you feel uncomfortable and come up with different creative approaches to sex that will be enjoyable and beneficial for both of you.
Don”t try to fix or “tweak” anything about your partner. Your main task is to get your sexuality back on track. By getting to know each other”s fears a little better, you will become closer to your free and passionate nature.
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Fear, get rid of, want
