Bad advice: 8 ways to ruin your sex life
Do you feel like things aren”t going as well as you”d like in the bedroom lately? And again and again it becomes more and more difficult to reach the highest point of pleasure. Whether your sex life is bad, boring, or just irregular, you feel dissatisfied and constantly wonder if you”re doing something wrong.
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Fashionable glossy publications are full of headlines about how to have sex, where to have it and the best ways to increase your sex life. However, few people mention how easy it is to destroy it. It turns out that some behaviors can negatively impact your sex life. How to get rid of these bad habits?
Take a look at these common mistakes you may also be making. We”ve compiled a list of the eight most common barriers to a healthy sex life. It”s time to overcome them.
8 ways to ruin your sex life
- Negative or self-deprecating thoughts about sex;
These thoughts can come from anywhere (childhood, religion, past sexual experiences, etc.) and can have a real impact on sexuality. Some of us grow up thinking sex is dirty or sinful, while others are taught to be ashamed of their bodies.
Negative attitudes towards sex can definitely affect sexual behavior and should be overcome as soon as possible. The truth is that sex is not dirty.
In fact, even doctors agree that it”s healthy. Intimate life is good for the cardiovascular system. Sex also reduces stress and helps fight disease by boosting the body”s natural defenses.
It”s also good exercise and burns as many calories as playing tennis. Develops a healthy attitude towards sex, eradicating all negative and self-destructive thoughts.
- Focus on orgasm;
Intense orgasms are great, but don”t get carried away with them. Focusing solely on orgasm can create negative feedback. You literally start to bring yourself to orgasm, which creates anxiety that you won”t be released and makes you obsessed with “happy endings.”
Instead of thinking of sex as a spectacle with a beautiful ending, think of it as an exciting journey. In fact, it increases your orgasmic potential. When you are not under pressure, you can experience the full spectrum of pleasure.
- Focus on quantity;
Date after date can be exhausting, but you don”t want to stop! Loneliness and disappointment can be depressing, but it”s easier to fill the gaps with more people and fleeting connections. In fact, it just gets in the way.
Read also: 8 creative ways to add fire to your sex life
If you”re passionate about regular sex and feel the need to change something, don”t worry. All is well for you. And maybe that”s even the case.
Sex is usually better with someone you really like and who likes you as much as you like yourself. And, more importantly, with someone who respects, understands and accepts you and your body. Casual sex can be a completely enjoyable activity, but only if it happens with the right person and in the right circumstances.
- Lack of communication with your partner about sex;
It”s truly amazing that so many people can have sex frequently, yet almost always feel uncomfortable talking about it. It”s as if there is an unspoken rule: “Do it, but don”t say it out loud.”
If you feel very comfortable being sexual with your partner, you should feel comfortable talking openly about sex with them. Establish a dialogue.
Share with each other what you like, emphasizing the positive aspects and downplaying the negative ones. Make sure your partner enjoys your co-sex, does what you like best in bed, and wants to see you become a better person.
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- Don”t have sex with priorities.
Unfortunately, for many couples, sex is not a priority. Worse, even the relationship itself is not a priority. Work, family, responsibilities and other worries always seem to get in the way. In the end, many find themselves without strength and desire. However, it is important to remember where your attention is directed. This is where the energy flows.
If you want to have a healthy sex life, pay more attention and focus on it. Make it a priority! Think about the barriers that are really holding you back and start working to overcome them.
Be as honest as possible with your partner, but most of all, be honest with yourself. Once you stop being shy about sex, it will become a more natural and comfortable experience for you and your partner.
- Idealization of sexual life;
When you are too self-conscious about your behavior during sex (am I moving correctly, am I making noise?). You”re putting too much pressure on yourself—pressure that can negatively impact your sexuality and lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember that your body doesn”t work perfectly (and neither does everyone else). Expecting perfection in your sexual behavior will inevitably only lead to disappointment. Instead, focus on the pleasure of sex, the intimacy with the person you choose, and the pleasure you bring to each other.
Experts complain that people often come asking to be treated with hormones or pills, when in fact their self-doubt is interfering with their sex appeal.
When you”re worried about something, you tend to think negative thoughts over and over again, so you don”t exactly think about solutions. Then you just need to understand what the underlying problem is and start solving it. If you need it, find a doctor who you can talk to openly or who can begin the treatment you need.
- Sexual manipulation.
If you”re angry at someone, it”s only natural that you don”t want them to come near you. Then the resistance and implicit persistence will increase again and again, and the deep connection between you will grow further. Harshness and understatement are the main killers of sexual desire. If you can”t control your anger, it will be very difficult for you to move on.
Sex is just another way to get what you want and nowhere else. Such manipulations will not lead to anything good. Sooner or later, you and your partner will become disillusioned with both your sex life and each other.
