How does sex change after marriage and in what direction?
There”s something strange going on in the collective consciousness regarding marriage. Women should want it, men should be afraid, but in the end, as they say, “we”re all there.”
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And various concerns and fears are associated with this prospect. For example: How does marriage affect sex? Is it true that after marriage, ardent lovers turn into a pair of indifferent pumpkins? Psychologists and real users of the Quora site answer.
Like real people?
- This is my opinion. My husband and I have two children. They are two years and eight months old. I breastfed them both and still breastfeed my youngest. My husband works from 4 pm to 3 am. Has our sex life changed? Yes, now we have to find time for each other. Does sex really not exist anymore? Hell no!
Here are some differences.
We had to make time for each other.
We feel like naughty teenagers if we try to sleep or cuddle with each other before our parents return from shopping.
We learned that no room is untouchable. Kitchen, stairs, bathroom, while playing hide and seek (sorry), while the kids are napping, before work, after work and, of course, right after grandma picks up the kids.
When we have time and the youngest (thank God, she likes to sleep, it’s night) is sleeping, we take our time.
We have learned not to get upset if we are disturbed.
We are waiting for our eldest daughter to grow up and turn her room into a playroom.
We play pretend games, indulge in elements of BDSM, and sometimes have sex outside.
In my opinion, the sex was good when we first started. We had sex like rabbits all day. But now our sex life has become better. Now there is more creativity. We share our lives with each other and being husband and wife is easy. Sexy and warm.
Sex after marriage up to three times a day. At least once every two days (including orally).
We are comfortable with each other and we know what we like. We laugh about it, make jokes about the anus and move on with our lives, because there is nothing shameful about someone passing gas during sex. In my experience, sex has changed for the better. If we made porn, it would be ten times sexier than what we made before we got married.” — Cynthia Gallup:
- “Before we got married, we tried to hide the fact that we were having sex, that we weren”t living together and that we had children in her house. This made it difficult for us to choose when and where to have sex. After we got married, we probably had as much sex or more than before. After we got married, I thought we should have sex three times a day, but I was upset when it turned out that wasn”t the case.
For the first two years of our marriage, sex was a big problem for us. Eventually we realized there was a problem and committed to fixing it. This led to the resolution of many aspects of our marriage and our personal psychological problems.
Read also: 7 reasons that makes sex after marriage so much better
There are many stereotypes about family life, but even more stereotypes about sex after marriage. We understand relationships and dispel the myth that.
We worked on all of this and became better and happier people as a result. Our marriage and our sex life have improved as a result.” — Paul Weil
Sex only after marriage! analysis of the issue. first time, before or after marriage?
- Gradually sex becomes much better after marriage. For the last 15 years we have made love every day.
- Basically, everything remains the same as before. The only thing that can be changed is to make it less noticeable over time” — Khadija
- I”ve been married for 50 years. A healthy man never stops experiencing sexual desire. This is because his passion is caused by testosterone, a chemical produced by the testicles. A man always enjoys sex because it ends in orgasm. At the same time, chemicals are released in the brain, and the person experiences great pleasure.
Women are different. Some women take more time and effort to become aroused, while others become aroused more easily. In any case, if a woman”s need for sex is ignored, if she does not understand what gives her pleasure, she will cease to be interested in sex.
Older couples have less sex, and some don”t have sex at all. It depends on their physical and mental health. Because these relationships develop regardless of whether they love each other or not, care for each other or not.
Humans are sexual beings, and whether couples choose to continue having sex together will vary greatly for reasons too numerous to describe.” — Ed Potter
What do the studies say?
As a rule, many temporary loves disappear after a few years of marriage. This does not mean that they disappear completely, but they are generally practiced only on special occasions. This happens mainly for domestic reasons. Adults and working people don”t have much free time, especially if they have children.
- This makes it more efficient.
Sex happens faster, but can bring immediate pleasure to each other as partners learn to understand each other and learn their weaknesses. Spouses can be called experts.
- Sex must be planned.
It may not be too romantic, but yes, married couples often highlight a night of lovemaking, literally. Look at it this way: planning means you really want it. Consciously!
- You will feel more comfortable and relaxed; you will be calmer and more aware of what you are doing. A fun bonus: when a person is relaxed, it is easier for him to achieve orgasm and the pleasure from sex is brighter.
- More attention and home predictions. Sex is cool, so don”t stain the furniture with bodily fluids, start chasing not to break anything in accordance with passion, but don”t drag that sofa to the fifth floor.
- More trust. Over time, spouses become more relaxed about diseases of the reproductive system and stop using barrier contraception. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to sad stories when one of the spouses not only cheats, but also becomes infected with another sexually transmitted disease.
- More love, less desires. Sexual attraction to your spouse may decrease over time, but it is truly deep, respectful and permeated with tenderness of feelings.
- Less experimentation. Perhaps over time you will find your favorite way to make love, and this stage of experimentation will end. Sometimes this can lead to dire consequences. Over time, ordinary love becomes familiar and boring. For this reason, family therapists and sexologists usually recommend more sexual experimentation, even if you have been in a marital relationship for a long time.
- Less romantic. In most cases, romantic gestures such as bubble baths and champagne, rose petals, breakfast in bed — all gradually become a thing of the past as spouses become more confident in themselves and their relationship. This tells them that such excesses are not beneficial.
Sexologists note that while it”s great to be confident in yourself and your relationships, you shouldn”t completely forget about romantic surprises and special situations.
