How to Get More Sex in Your Marriage: In 4 Easy Steps
It”s safe to say that if you”ve landed on this article, you”re probably looking for inspiration on how to have more sex in your marriage. But it”s not so easy to guess why you might be looking for such inspiration.
Of course, you may simply have a high sex drive that doesn”t match your partner”s average or low sex drive, or maybe you need a few ideas to spice up the bedroom to keep things alive.
In this article
- Step 1: Be aware of the situation you are in
- Step 2: Discuss the issue with your spouse
- Step 3. Invite marriage counselors
- Step 4: Use the results
But you may also be looking to rekindle the spark, passion and intimacy that once was in your marriage, or are dealing with health issues that are affecting sexual performance. Whatever your reason for exploring how to have more sex in your marriage, the factors driving your search may require more attention or deeper thought than you might first realize.
That”s why
If both spouses disagree that they want to have more sex in their marriage, then it is likely that only one of the two spouses is experiencing a lack of sex in the marriage.
This already means that there may be a lack of communication and perhaps some denial of the reality of your circumstances creeping into your relationship. If you don”t pay attention to this, you may find that any attempts to have more sex in your marriage may be inconsistent, unsatisfying, and essentially paint over the cracks.
With that in mind, here are some important steps to take if you”re wondering how to have more sex in your marriage.
Step 1: Be aware of the situation you are in
So, you know you want to figure out how to have more sex in your marriage, but before you get to the bottom of it, you need to stop to think about what, in your opinion, is causing the lack of sex?
Of course, it takes two to tango, and without discussing it with your spouse, you will only have one side of the story. But stopping to evaluate your thoughts and acknowledge any factors you might be aware of that could be causing the problem, and even whether the lack of sex is coming from you, is a vital step to bringing more sex into your marriage.
For example, you might consider;
- Are you and your spouse still sexually attracted to each other?
- Did something happen that caused either of you to lose trust or intimacy?
- Are there any potential health problems that are causing one of you to not want or be able to have sex?
- Low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence that is causing one of you to not feel good enough when having sex?
- Are there any deep-seated issues that either of you has that are affecting your sex life that are just surfacing now?
- One of you has a higher sex drive than the other, and how to find balance.
- Do you still have the spark?
- Do you know how to communicate with each other sexually?
- Do you feel confident with each other sexually?
- Do you still feel committed to each other?
- Do you have bad habits and lazy habits?
These are just some examples of how complex the problem of lack of sex in marriage can be. But when you acknowledge the cause of the problem, you have the opportunity to work on it and find the right path for you and your spouse to bring more sex into your marriage in a way that is fulfilling for both of you.
Step 2: Discuss the issue with your spouse
Now it”s time to discuss the situation with your spouse and find out if your suspicions are correct or work together to get to the bottom of the issue. Some situations, such as bad habits or disrespect, can be resolved by making lifestyle changes and committing to spending more time with each other, especially in the bedroom.
Consider starting a workout regimen that will boost your self-esteem and libido, or even take sex and intimacy classes (you can access these physically, get a book, or take an online course)
If this doesn”t solve the problem or the problem is more serious, it”s time to move on to step 3.
Step 3. Invite marriage counselors
Not everyone likes the idea of hiring a marriage counselor, but if you want to learn how to have more sex in your marriage and you have some deep-seated issues, you”ll probably need a counselor (who will have a lot of experience working with types of people). family problems you are facing) to help. This way, you and your spouse can work through these issues as a couple in a way that will bring you together and potentially save your marriage.
Step 4: Use the results
So, by now you”ve done the hard work, faced the facts, and gotten your relationship back on track, either by improving communication and changing your habits, or with the help of a marriage or relationship counselor. All that”s left is to enjoy the reward for your efforts, which hopefully will come in the form of more sex in your marriage, and in particular, more fulfilling sex in your marriage that uplifts and invigorates both spouses!
