How to overcome the anxiety of having sex for the first time with a new partner?
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When it comes to sex with a new partner, does your voice begin to tremble with betrayal, and your whole body shrinks so much that you can”t even hug your man?
Contents of the article:
- “I don’t look good enough for this!”
- “What if I’m not good enough?”
- “What if sex doesn”t go as planned and he does something I won”t
- 12 steps to having perfect first sex with a new man
- Masturbate regularly
- Take your time
- Prepare everything in advance
- Take it easy
- What to look for when having sex with a new partner for the first time?
- Dim the lights
- Don”t panic over your underwear
- Don”t rush to cross the finish line
- Help each other
- Keep sex simple
- Don”t panic if he orgasms too quickly or doesn”t
- Even if sex turns out to be a disaster, it doesn”t matter
- Resist the urge to ask: “How do you like me?”
- Mistakes of first sex — top 5 mistakes when having first sex with a new man
You are not alone. Read our article to learn how to cope with the trembling in your body at the thought of it happening “as if it were happening many times in reality.”
“I don’t look good enough for this!”
Unfortunately, a huge number of women are afraid to have sex with a new partner precisely because of this thought.
Complexes about appearance are often the reason for postponing first sex with a new partner. Girls make dates.
And in general this fear is obvious. It”s unlikely that many people actually feel comfortable. But if all goes well until you and your guy finally have sex, he certainly won”t mind seeing you naked.
Take your time and let sex happen when you”re really ready.
And remember that your partner is probably feeling stressed. On your first night, he is unlikely to pay attention to the fact that you “don’t have a flat stomach” or “too big butt.” Rather, he will have difficulty hiding his bald head from your eyes, his muscular arms are inadequate, and he already feels insecure about his own appearance.
“What if I’m not good enough?”
This is the main fear of men. It is they who are most often entrusted with the responsibility to do everything at the highest level.
Moreover, this fear is completely justified. A man”s responsibility during sex is not only to arouse you properly, but also to pleasantly surprise you with his size, as well as to ensure that you have sex for more than three minutes.
It is much more difficult to cope with this problem if he has already matured. Erection problems are widespread among men over 40, and even more so if they are over 50.
Relax, enjoy the process and have fun. In this situation, you are in a much better position.
“What if sex doesn’t go as planned and he does something I’m not ready for?”
Both men and women worry about this. In vain.
There aren”t many scenarios for bedtime fun. For your first time, it is unlikely that a man will want to put you in unimaginable acrobatic positions. And believe me, he is just as likely to demand that you do the impossible to him — but you are not going to do it.
Yes, of course, sex is much more varied now than it was 30 years ago. However, most prefer to follow the basics on the first communal night. Requests for “perversions” begin weeks or months later.
If he”s still offering you something you”re not ready for, tell him so. And if he insists on fulfilling fantasies that are currently inconvenient or unpleasant for you, you have the right to get up and leave. Moreover, such behavior from a man is the most dangerous sign, and you will only benefit from this situation if it makes further intimacy between you impossible.
Read also: First sex with a new partner: how not to embarrass yourself in bed
Excitement grows, light kisses become more passionate, and now they are already in a horizontal position. Sparks between two people are normal.
Now that you”re ready to have sex with a man, here are 12 tips to help you prepare for your first time with a new partner.
12 steps to having perfect first sex with a new man
Masturbate regularly
If you haven”t had sex in a while, it”s important to masturbate. Your body should be familiar with the sensations of touch and orgasm.
Take your time
Try to remember the first time you had sex and repeat the same behavior as you did then. However, this is from the height of experience accumulated over the years.
Start with a long kiss. Then, when you”re ready, perform mutual masturbation or oral sex, in addition to breast play.
Actions with your partner should be slow and relaxed. It”s like jumping headfirst into a pool of ice water, but slowly, step by step. Not all of this has to end in sex, but this kind of foreplay makes further sex much less likely.
Prepare everything in advance
On the bedside table are new sheets, clean linen, lubricant and a pack of condoms. Even if you don”t want your partner to realize that you want sex and have been preparing for it for a long time, you will be much more comfortable if you have everything you need at hand.
Take it easy
Sex is not a test. There is no grading system and no one can tell you whether you passed or failed the first time. So let”s not focus on the need for perfection. This kind of sex only happens to people in movies. Realistic “first steps” look very different.
What to look for when having sex with a new partner for the first time?
Dim the lights
It is much more convenient to have sex without light. Feel free to dim or turn off the lights on your partner, especially if you”re worried that your body might not look perfect.
Don”t panic over your underwear
If the right time for sex comes when you”re not ready for it yet and you”re not wearing a nice lace leather thong, comfortable granny panties or even the color of your bra, don”t panic.
This situation can turn out in your favor. For example, you can remove your underwear while putting on a skirt, or help a man remove his clothes before his panties become visible. Plus, this is his way of deciding that you want sex as much as he does.
Don”t rush to cross the finish line
The foreplay is long and sensual, the movements are slow, and the process itself becomes like mutual exploration.
Help each other
But don”t overdo it. Pointing your partner in the right direction can help, but if you do everything for your partner, their confidence will be even lower than before.
Keep sex simple
There is no need to add “diversity” to your first sex. That”s why this is the first time we have sex. Your task now is to get to know each other”s bodies and enjoy them. So save the handcuffs, ice cubes and games for next time.
Don”t panic if he reaches orgasm too quickly or doesn”t reach it at all
This is a completely normal situation. A man becomes aroused and this can affect his sexual performance in different ways. In addition, you are unlikely to immediately tell him what and how you love him — you are still at the “getting to know” stage.
Even if sex turns out to be a disaster, it doesn”t matter
There”s no point in getting upset if the first pancake turns out to be a lump because you can”t follow the plan. If you really love each other, you are unlikely to break up because of one unsuccessful sex session. But you will know if there is enough chemistry between you to give it a second try.
Resist the urge to ask: “How do you like me?”
Remember that truly good sex usually only happens to people five or six times. Try not to panic and don”t immediately ask the man if he likes it. Instead, it”s better to call your girlfriend and let off steam for the first time in a confidential, friendly conversation.
