How to take a girl”s virginity without leaving her traumatized
If you are having sex with a virgin, it is not enough to buy condoms and find a free room to prepare for such an important process. Remember that this is a very important and responsible moment for a girl. So try not to spoil it. Make it comfortable and painless in every way.
Contents of the article:
What is virginity?
A popular myth says that every girl has a virgin membrane inside her. This is a tightly stretched film that breaks loudly upon contact with the penis. In fact, this same virgin membrane is the tissue around the opening of the vagina. They are not dense, but loose.
Therefore, when picking a flower, there is absolutely no popping or other sounds. Typically, neither you nor your partner notice anything during the process. Blood also appears in only about 30% of girls.
The tissue around the vaginal opening is also called the vaginal corona. It is narrow, which makes it difficult for the penis to pass, and can be wide enough to injure it during initial penetration or not interfere with the process at all.
Thus, a girl’s virginity is not the presence of a vaginal barrier. Rather, this concept represents female innocence and inexperience. A girl is considered a virgin if she has never had sexual relations with a partner, regardless of gender. This includes both vaginal sex and deep caresses with oral, anal sex and penetration.
Moral preparation
Mentally preparing yourself for deflowering is necessary not only for the girl, but also for you. If this is a casual partner, think several times before you decide to enter into an intimate relationship with her.
For the girl’s psychological comfort and the absence of sexual problems in the future, you should agree to have sex only with a reliable partner who can be completely trusted. Ideally, with a person with whom you have a serious long-term relationship.
For you, the most difficult part of deflowering your partner may be the lack of pleasure or pain. If you”re doing it right, don”t ignore foreplay, use quality lube, and move slowly and carefully. So there is no reason.
Try not to have high expectations. Don”t try to make a girl an ideal lover or try all the Kama Sutra positions at once.
Perhaps the first time it will be awkward and will not give her incredible pleasure. Be gentle, careful and attentive. Next time you can work on her orgasm.
A frank conversation can help a girl psychologically prepare for her first sex. Act as calmly as possible and let her know that you will do anything to ease her discomfort.
Be sure to explain to your partner that she can trust you completely. And promise to stop as soon as she wants.
If a girl is romantic and dreamy, you should explain to her that first sex is not much like scenes from love films. In real life, he is usually ugly and even clumsy. The main thing is that he tries to treat every mistake or awkward moment with humor.
Physical training
Neither you nor she needs any special preparation for first sex. The list of exercises that you need to do for this is just a myth, although they are floating around the Internet.
The main stage in preparing a girl for her first sex is high-quality foreplay. You can always start with a mediocre massage. However, her shoulders, back, chest, stomach and hips. Take a closer look at what touches your partner the most and repeat over and over again.
An important part of foreplay is the kiss. And it can”t just be lips. Try kissing her cheeks, neck, stomach and inner thighs. This kind of touching is great for transitioning to more serious behavior.
If a girl is not shy about oral sex, it completely prepares her for further processes. The first time, however, do not insist on minerals. However, it is recommended to remove the panties with your teeth and let your partner taste them.
Cunnilingus helps the girl to completely relax and activates the secretion of natural lubrication. Even if she doesn”t end up being able to orgasm, she”ll probably want to continue to engage with your penis, as well as your tongue and fingers.
And when you move directly to vaginal sex, try the following:
- Move more gently, slowly and carefully than your more experienced partner.
- Do not change positions too often (or better yet, stay in one position for the entire first sexual intercourse).
- Do not withdraw your penis completely while moving. Otherwise, she may feel pain and discomfort again the next time she enters.
- Avoid very sudden, strong movements.
Which condoms should you choose?
Condoms are the best method of contraception when having sex for the first time. Do not choose products with spikes, dots or ribbed surfaces for deflowering. It is recommended to leave them for further experiments.
Ultra-thin products are suitable for the first time. They allow the girl to feel her partner as much as possible without experiencing real sensations.
The main thing is to buy condoms only from trusted manufacturers and make sure that they are of the highest quality and safest. This will protect you from unnecessary worry and allow you to relax without thinking that contraception will fail at the most crucial moment.
Choose condoms without painkillers. The girl must correctly assess the sensations she experiences. Then she can learn to control mild pain if it suddenly gets worse, and she can eventually ask you to change the situation or move more carefully.
Do you need lubricant when deflowering?
Lubrication during first sex is not only necessary. It is this that makes the process more comfortable and reduces the girl’s pain.
For the first time, you should choose a water-based option with a simple composition without unnecessary additives. After all, the girl does not yet know which components of the lubricant she may be allergic to. An excellent solution is to choose formulations labeled as “hypoallergenic.”
However, buying “painkiller” lubricants for the first time is a bad idea. Analgesic compounds really reduce the feeling of discomfort, but with them the girl does not feel the boundaries that her partner should not cross. When using such lubricants, there is a possibility of serious injury without even noticing it due to the “freezing” sensation.
Can you get an STI from a virgin?
It is a mistake to believe that by having sex with a virgin, you are completely protected from infection. Therefore, it is important to pay attention to quality contraception. It is best to use condoms throughout the entire process.
Girls can be infected with SPPP and even remain physiologically virgins. For example, if the previous man came with the labia without penetration. or lovingly loving and caring for their partner using their fingers.
In addition, there is a risk of infection.
Read also: The girls told how it hurts to lose your virginity
Every person in puberty or adolescence is faced with the idea of first intimacy with a partner and then seeks answers.
- Various types of hepatitis. The girl may not be infected through sexual contact. For example, when visiting the dentist or getting a blood transfusion.
- Candidiasis caused by poor diet and wearing poor-quality underwear or hormonal imbalance.
- HIV infection. It can come from, for example, a pregnant or laboring mother, or from a girl as a result of injecting drug use.
- Herpes. If a man with lip sores performs cunnilingus on a girl, she may contract a genital disease, even if it does not penetrate the genitals.
Remember that transmission most often occurs during anal sex, through fingers or shared sex toys. Therefore, transmission of infection is possible through same-sex contact or even by exchanging fainting spells with a friend.
The best positions for deflowering her
Regardless of the chosen position, first prepare the girl for the process. The foreplay should be long and of high quality. Study her body and do everything to make her as excited and relaxed as possible. And then just move on to the main part.
Elle Chase, an American sex educator, recommends paying attention to the six most successful painless positions for deflowering a girl.
These positions are especially relevant if you have a large rooster who is doing this for the first time. You are in complete control of the situation, but the penetration should not be too deep.
Place the girl on the bed or place a soft blanket under her. Raise her slightly with your arms and do not spread your legs. Wrap your arms around yourself and pull yourself up. You might find it helpful to kiss her on the neck. If necessary, care for her breasts with one hand.
Instead of fast strokes, choose slow circular movements. Enter carefully and gradually, starting to move when you feel comfortable. To improve the angle of entry, you can ask her to sit and arch her back slightly.
Missionary positions are often called boring. However, for the first time the girl fantasizes. Your partner spreads his legs to lie on his back in bed or on the sofa. This is arranged from above. Your waist should be between her legs.
The main advantage of this position is visual contact. You can hug her and hold her close to you or stroke her waist with your hands, kiss her face, neck and chest. Make the girl as comfortable as possible. Her body will be completely covered by you, so she won”t even have to think about how she looks.
It is helpful that for the first time the girl can remain still and listen to her feelings. Take all the main “work”.
How to deprive a girl of her virginity? How can a guy regain his innocence?! — because it’s so fashionable.
This pose is suitable for young women with bold initiative. If she is very worried, you can help your partner and take her by the waist with your hands, which will allow you to control the direction and intensity of the movement.
The only disadvantage of this position is that the girl can get tired quickly. Especially if she has not received proper sports training. To prevent this, the position can be changed from time to time.
This is another variation of the missionary position. For her, you sit on a chair or sofa, and the girl sits on top. You move as close to each other as possible and touch your bodies.
She can show you how to better care for your breasts with love. Alternatively, demonstrate other vascular areas.
Your partner is placed on this side, you position yourself from behind, place one foot on top of her thigh and gently insert your penis. It is in this position that a girl can feel comfortable, protected and safe, provided that there is close trust between you. It will definitely be comfortable and soft the first time.
With one hand free, you can make love to your partner”s nipples or explore the clitoris. Also kiss the back of your neck and massage your head.
In this position, you can again look into each other”s eyes and kiss. And the special angle of penetration does not make it deep and painful.
For medium and small penises, you can choose a position from the “Man from Behind” series for your first time with virgins. Even the popular Doggy style is a good choice. The key is to remember to pay attention. Move slowly and carefully, avoiding too much forceful movement.
Be sure to listen to her comments about what”s happening. If she suggests slowing down or immediately changing positions, it might be painful or uncomfortable.
How not to hurt a girl?
A girl”s first time in sex is often painful or uncomfortable. This most often happens because she”s still learning about her body and is very anxious and nervous. Or if her partner is acting too abruptly.
To avoid hurting your partner, you should:
- Act as slowly and carefully as possible. The girl is getting used to the sensations, especially at first.
- Use plenty of lubrication; don”t try to make it feel natural.
- Introduce yourself to the girl with your fingers first, caress her, and try to observe her sensations. If there”s no pain or discomfort, move on to more positive actions.
- Choose a position that takes her sensations into account. Try several options and choose one that”s comfortable and painless for her.
- Prepare her mentally and physically for this process.
You need to try to relax her and not feel constrained or immobilized. This is only possible in a trusting, intimate relationship and is unlikely to be achieved within 30 minutes.
For your first time, choose a comfortable place where she feels safe. Then she”ll be able to fully relax. For example, if you”re at home and hear your parents talking behind your back, you can calm down and forget about pleasure.
What to do after defloration?
How you behave the first time is very important to her. Indeed, losing your virginity is a significant and turning point for her. Psychologists note that women become strongly attached to their first sexual partner and experience special feelings. Immediately after intimacy, show your girlfriend you care. Ask her how she”s feeling and if she needs anything. Your partner might want to relax a bit.
Try not to rush home immediately after your first encounter. You can take a shower together, lie down and chat, or watch a funny movie. Let her feel that you”re still there, just as caring and interested in her.
Repeated sexual experiences on the same day should be avoided. Gynecologists advise women who have lost their virginity to abstain from sex for at least a few days. If the process is painful and there is a lot of bleeding, it”s best to extend this period to five to seven days.
Reviews from men on Reddit
Reviews from men from Reddit
She was already 23 years old and ready for sex. She hadn”t previously found anyone she could trust. At first, we spent a long time practicing various caresses and exploring each other”s bodies. There was very little bloodshed, perhaps because we had previously masturbated or been caressed by other men. We both really enjoyed it. I was her first man, and I think she loves me even more. We”re now engaged and getting married next month.” — Parlin.
- I took the virginity of a girl I was dating seriously. For the first time, she experienced intense pain from my movements. I did everything very slowly. First, he entered her and stayed long enough for her to get used to the sensation. Overall, I didn”t like the first attempt. However, the next day, we made up for lost time. We did this for about an hour and a half in the car. When I got in, she literally couldn”t speak.” — Confidence.
- “It was the first time we had sex that ended our relationship. She was from another country and very religious, more religious than I imagined. I sensed she wasn”t very happy with what happened. The relationship deteriorated, and after a few months, we parted as good friends. A few years later, I found her online advertising premarital abstinence. Apparently, she really didn”t like it.” — fourfreedom
- She was 27 years old. Before this whole process, we”d been dating for a few months, flirting a lot and having a good time. One evening, she announced she was ready to move on. I had to move very slowly. I knew there would be blood, but I couldn”t imagine so much. After the first time, her sex drive increased exponentially. She was one of my best sexual partners.” — Sparkhawk
- 43 years ago I took a girl”s virginity. Since then she has not married. Sometimes I feel like she”s watching me. I try not to talk to her anymore. I met my second virgin while on a music tour. But things ended badly when her parents found contraceptives in her belongings. They should have been glad that we were smart and protected, but. I married my third virgin. Thirty-seven years have passed, and I still love and adore her.” — Miketuba.
- If you are dating a strictly Christian man, being a virgin is very important. In all other situations it is completely unnecessary. If a girl is over 20 years old, many men refuse to take her virginity. This is not how I started having sex with my partner. I know that for the first time a girl is very attached to her partner. It”s always difficult. This will probably hurt her. Therefore, my advice to girls is to give your virginity to someone who is truly dear to you.
- I didn”t like it. A woman I met on a dating site came to my house. At home we kissed and began to undress. Then she told me that she was a virgin and wanted me to be her first man. I knew I had to move slowly and carefully. He knew she couldn”t orgasm. And she had no idea how to lie down, where to put her legs and hips. After all, it could be said that he took her virginity, stripping her of her sexual decency. It wasn”t much fun. I don”t like hurting people during sex” — TriXandApple
- Taking a girl”s virginity is a responsible and very important process for her. Therefore, it must be carefully prepared. And try to find out as much useful information as possible about her body, the most comfortable position and possible consequences.
How to lose your virginity without pain
