My husband went to see his mother, what should I do?
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More and more often you can hear the following phrase: “What should we do? What should we do?” To answer this question, you need to correctly punctuate this statement.
Contents of the article:
My husband left me (period) for my mother
He left because of his mother, since this is not about his relationship with another woman. He turned to “reasonable sources”, so to speak, on neutral territory. There he can “take a breath” and think again. In the first case, the man does not want to put up with a role where the decision does not depend on him.
And most importantly, he left you. In other words, your relationship has cracked. Is it possible to return? This is possible and necessary. The main thing is to understand why this happened and “fix the error.”
Often this behavior is associated with a man’s long-term cohabitation with his wife’s parents. The husband is expected to make strong decisions and take the necessary responsibility, but he is constantly in a situation where his “bird rights” are pointed out to him. This is a protest against accepting the mother as one”s own.
However, in such situations, women themselves are strongly influenced by their mothers. This does not clarify the most important thing — to start solving your own problems. Yes, you do not have your own living space, and your parents are not obliged to provide it to you. Buy your own apartment, even if it is expensive. Try to find some kind of compromise.
Many visitors manage to find a “corner in their pocket,” and those who are accustomed to the best find it difficult to refuse benefits at the expense of the independence of their young family. However, husbands who understand that they will have to pay monthly housing costs and that no one will regret that they wait, approach the issue of income more responsibly.
If this is your situation, there is no need to quarrel with your parents, threaten divorce and demand that your husband return. In most cases, similar topics came up more than once. Think: do you want to stay with this person or is your personal “warm comfort zone” under your “mother’s wing” more important to you?
If you understand that your husband is more important to you, consider being prepared. This is reasonable: 1, 2, 3. You don”t have to agree that this will be an obvious burden. Find a compromise. Then, without hysterics or accusations, meet your loved one somewhere neutral, discuss your solution to the situation, and ask his opinion.
Don”t try to solve all the problems at once. We”re talking, take a break. Let him weigh everything and decide for himself—after all, this is exactly what he needed. Understandably, it”s very difficult to expect things to calm down when you simply can”t find peace. In this case, discuss how much time he needs to make a decision.
Read also: 7 Signs Your Partner Disrespects You: Reasons to Leave a Dominant Relationship
Trust, loyalty, and respect are the highest values. Without them, any relationship is doomed to failure. If you constantly ask yourself if he respects you. The second option is that you”ve transformed yourself from a wife into a “chainsaw” or “mother” who makes all the decisions. Let”s say you do a lot better. Okay, then do it yourself and don”t blame your spouse! In a family, husbands and wives are like an hourglass. The more grains of sand one has, the fewer the other has. Do you have to do everything yourself? No, you don”t. So why put up with it?
Such situations are very easily resolved. Men expect a simple apology and recognition of their authority. But for strong-willed, strong-willed women, this isn”t easy. Don”t try to “glue together a relationship” for the sake of “fathers for the children.”
The opposite option: The husband left for his mother, tired of the difficulties.
Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence in the modern world. In the second case, he doesn”t want to make decisions himself: he wants to be a “broken man.” Perestroika gave us a whole wave of “broken men” who couldn”t adapt to the new situation. Satya • When we argue, my husband moves in with his mother.
Instead, women tried to ensure the survival of their children. Without suitable male role models, there was a whole wave of infant sons who, under the guidance of strong mothers and grandmothers, grew into grown men.
Satya • when we quarrel, my husband moves in with his mother
They have been looking for a new job for a long time, but without the help of their mother it is very difficult for them. All the wife”s accusations of lack of funds can cause anger in such husbands, who then defiantly leave.
The situation is even worse with children. They are children themselves, albeit in an adult body. Therefore, they perceive the child not as an extension of themselves, but as a competitor. He really shave with it for your time and attention. If he finds himself “deprived”, he closes the door and leaves. Naturally, such a father will never show interest in the child’s life in the future.
Is it possible to return such a person? Yes, it”s possible. The main thing you should ask yourself is — is this necessary? Are you ready to hang a “second child” around his neck? Are you ready to listen to criticism from his mother and grandmother? If so, go ahead and promise to never force him to stress, work, help around the house, or be a man at all.
Praise him and tell him how lucky you are to have him. But if something happens to you or you need real help, he will again run away from the problem and leave you alone to cope with difficulties. You should take a closer look at those around you — there are a lot of men there.
So can I get my husband back who left my mother? Of course yes. Whether you need to do this is up to you. A wise life puts everything in its place. Thus, a tough and violent generation of wives was raised by infant men.
Such people do not ask: is there a way to return him, but open the front door with their foot, “push the mother-in-law away with strong hands,” load him and his little things into the car and take him home. As they say, everyone has their own idea of family happiness.
The husband went to his mother
Left, mom
