The downside of sex: why you can”t think only about orgasm
They all have their own standard ending. With exactly the same floor. Indeed, when you focus solely on having an orgasm, it may not come at all. You seem to be doing everything to please yourself and your loved one, but in the end you do not achieve the main goal. Why? Let”s try to understand this.
Contents of the article:
Psychological pressure
Both sexes have the same tendency. The more he strives to satisfy his partner, the less pleasure he receives himself. The fact is that at these moments he experiences enormous psychological pressure. And he creates it himself. And he also suffers from this.
Excessive effort in any task leads to fatigue, irritability and severe exhaustion. Imagine that you work as a loader. Every day you only think about how to unload the maximum number of boxes. Instead of giving yourself a break to relax and unwind, you waste all your energy. Of course, as a result, you do not experience that elation and feeling of joy. You simply have nowhere to get additional energy and psychological resources.
The situation is similar with sex. People believe that the main degree of pleasure is orgasm. And the process itself should not be too comfortable. This misconception leads you to persistently ignore pleasure in the present and postpone it for later.
Pressure leads to anxiety. Anxiety leads to muscle tension. Both partners cannot enjoy sex when the body resembles a stone, and the thoughts are: “Does she like me now?”
The solution is simple — realize that it is important to have fun with mutual compassion. Your partner will definitely feel this and thereby understand your feelings and desires.
Cinema and literature impose certain patterns of behavior in bed. At the same time, no one thinks that mutual love in itself is already comfortable. Female foreplay and tenderness are of particular importance. In general, the female orgasm is not fully understood. It often happens that a woman can only achieve certain positions. Therefore, she does not reject passionate love s in another position that does not lead her to orgasm.
Read also: Why doesn”t a girl get an orgasm from sex?
It”s hard to argue with the fact that sex is an integral part of a relationship between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, it”s not uncommon for sex to be unsatisfying.
Boundary line
Viewing orgasm as the primary goal of sex can miss many interesting details. Assume that intimacy doesn”t always have to follow a kiss. It”s the simplest, gentlest, and most sincere way to express your feelings for your partner. If you start kissing to have sex, kissing will instantly become devalued.
Try choosing one thing. First of all, relax. To create a romantic atmosphere, you can use slow music, dim the lights, light candles, and use aromatherapy. You can start with massage games. Incidentally, blindfolds work great for one partner. In this case, emotions are even more heightened.
Intimacy: How to Solve Problems in a Couple // Olga Vasilenko / It”s Not Freud
To get everything ready, start touching each other. The rules are important—the standard area is breasts, no touching the genitals. Perhaps this is how you”ll learn that running your fingers over someone”s arms is exciting, touching their ears with your lips is intriguing, and stroking their hair is a stirring declaration of love.
Difference of tastes
What if I told you that not everyone can achieve orgasm through traditional sex? Then everything we know about sex would be turned upside down. For example, there are actually many people who only climax during masturbation. This doesn”t mean they don”t feel anything during a night of lovemaking with their partner. They really want it, but they don”t experience orgasm. In this case, psychological intimacy arises.
Or fetishism. Everyone knows that millions of people can achieve orgasm by adding certain objects, smells, and sensations to sex. Not everyone, even loved ones and close ones, knows about their special fantasies. In other words, sex happens regularly, emotions run high, but there”s no orgasm. Come to understand that human sexuality is an endless field of study. Many people have sex for years but never imagine what an orgasm is. But others suffer from heightened sensitivity, which causes them to experience pleasure with minimal stimulation of sensitive areas.
When we begin to view sex from the perspective of “orgasm above all else,” over time we only distance ourselves from ultimate pleasure. Excessive focus on climax devalues the process itself. Sex is not just the end. Firstly, it is a process that brings immense pleasure to two people who desire to touch each other; secondly, it is a process that is not only about the end, but also about the climax.
The truth about sex and orgasm has been hidden from us! Ancient secrets of sexual energy. Daniil Seregin
