Where does aversion to sex come from and can it be corrected?
In long-term serious relationships, situations often arise when one of the partners begins to experience sexual behavior. This is indifferent, if not disgusting. At the same time, on an emotional level, their relationship can remain close and trusting.
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The lack of a full sex life affects the quality of life and relationships between partners. And if you suddenly encounter this, know that perhaps we are talking about sexual disgust.
Sexual aversion
Sexual hostility or sexual aversion is one of the most serious and at the same time very common forms of sexual dysfunction. Characterized by a sudden decrease in sexual desire.
Sexual aversion should not be confused with asexuality. The latter is more of an innate and permanent orientation, while disgust is a dysfunction “acquired” as a result of some event.
At the same time, such aversions are nothing more than a normal self-preservation mechanism. Just as we avoid eating unfamiliar or expired food or having sex without a condom with an unfamiliar partner, people with sexual aversion avoid sex itself to avoid the possible consequences of intercourse.
How does aversion to sex manifest itself?
Sexual disgust is rightly called a phobia, since negative feelings about sexual relations in this case manifest themselves both physically and in disgust towards sex itself.
For example, thoughts of sexual intimacy can make a person feel afraid, which can be accompanied by profuse sweating, rapid heart rate, trembling, and in some cases even diarrhea.
Reasons for aversion to sex
There are several reasons for this sexual dysfunction. Possible causes of sexual disgust include the following:
Experience of sexual violence
It”s hard to imagine what victims of sexual violence feel. But one thing is for sure: victims of violence are haunted by painful memories for a long time, and sex (and even just talking about it) acts as a kind of trigger.
However, victims of violence are not required to stop their future sexual activity. However, you should not solve the problem yourself. It is advisable to find a good specialist who will help you create a competent and systematic course of treatment.
Read also: I have an aversion to sex — what’s wrong with me, and how to fix it?
It”s time to talk about sex. More precisely, about the sexual problems that many women face. Due to the fact that such “atypical” topics are not.
Forced sex
Even if there is no violence in the person”s own life, there are situations when sex occurs without our active consent or participation.
To be honest, such situations are, in principle, not much different from sexual violence, so the traumatic experience also requires a number of psychotherapeutic measures.
Incest
Sexual hostility, whether coerced or consensual, can easily lead to incest due to severe social stigma.
Incest, by the way, is very common among children. In the future, when a person gets older and begins to think about the subject of sexual experience, he may develop disgust not only for sex, but also for himself.
Aversion to sex.
Low self-esteem
In this case, there are many reasons why sexual disgust may occur. For example, they may be unhappy with their appearance. Or, for example, they may be inspired by the idea that they are not very good in bed.
As a result, they may feel that they should not have sex, and they may develop a fear or aversion to appearing naked in public or pleasing others sexually.
Problems with sexual identity
Recently, the world has started talking about sex education and the diversity of forms of sexual orientation and preferences. For many, adolescence came at a time when the very idea of sex was the ultimate taboo, let alone identifying as gay, bisexual or asexual.
It is as a result of this repression that people can subsequently develop an aversion to sex.
Sexual aversion as a consequence of other mental problems
If there are other (not necessarily sexual) disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder or depression, that have previously been ignored, it is possible that they are the cause of the aversion to sex.
Illness or temporary break
As has already become clear, aversion to sex in itself is a consequence of the experience and does not arise on its own. This means that sexual disgust is suitable for treatment and healing.
In order to cure sexual disgust, you must first understand how it arises. If you find it difficult to do this on your own, seek help from a sex therapist or psychotherapist.
Be prepared for the fact that this path will be long and difficult. However, this will be a path through thorns to the stars.
