Financial infidelity in the family: what not to do!
“Financial infidelity” is a psychological term that arose not so long ago. Scientists began to study the financial aspects of marriage and found the reasons why spouses hide their true income, expenses and debts from each other. What they learned helps save many families, because, according to statistics, more than 50% of marriages break up precisely because of financial infidelity.
Contents of the article:
Statistics
There have been studies all over the world on whether you are hiding your true income from your spouse, whether you are paying off “stagnant” debts, and whether you are “stagnant.” And this is what they found out: that
In Europe, it is considered normal for husband and wife not to check each other’s wallets, with almost 80% of couples having separate budgets. They share financial responsibilities, one buys groceries, the other pays bills and jointly provides for the children. And the financial affairs of such people are not a problem at all. They believe that every person has the right to his own account.
But in our country, as in many countries of the former Soviet Union, it has long been customary to jointly execute and distribute the common budget. However, European standards are increasingly being introduced into our culture. Spouses begin to buy, take out loans and earn extra money without knowing it. Hence the term “financial infidelity.”
According to surveys, it turned out that:
- More than 60% of men in our country hide their real income from their wives.
- Almost 80% of Russian women believe that their husbands do not need to know how much money she actually earns.
- 9. 5 men postpone “stagnation”.
- Every woman at least once did not tell her husband about this or that purchase. She lied about the actual cost of her purchases compared to her own.
- In three out of ten families, disagreements arose because one of the spouses secretly took out a personal loan.
The numbers are impressive. Scientists say that in most cases, the reason for financial infidelity lies in the lack of 100% trust of spouses in each other. Explain the problem in more detail.
What is financial infidelity?
Don’t take this problem lightly; it truly threatens your marriage. There are several types of financial infidelity, some mild, while others can be more complex.
- Secret spending is the most common and can cause serious disruptions to the family budget. Women often hide from their husbands the purchase of a new bag, dress, or expensive shoes, or claim they’re cheaper than they actually are. Men hide purchases of electronic equipment and spare parts for their cars. Furthermore, to conceal their spending, people round up the amount of necessary purchases. For example, a package of goods worth 1, 500 rubles might be lying on the table, but they might say it’s 2, 500 rubles.
- Loans on top of loans are the second most common form of financial default. All cases are similar. A loan needs to be paid, but there’s no money left over because the spouse didn’t pay a bonus at work or made a secret purchase. People are afraid to admit this to their spouses and say payments have been made, but in reality, delays and problems have begun.
- Lying about their true income is another common tactic. They may claim to earn less than they actually do because they fear their other half is wasting all the money. Others exaggerate their salaries. This happens because they are embarrassed by their low income (perhaps they are simply afraid their spouse will force them or cheat on them to work more).
- Hidden bank accounts are the rarest type, but the most dangerous. Such financial infidelities are committed by people who are unsure whether they will become spouses tomorrow and open accounts that cost money so they can live separately without problems. According to statistics, about 6% of families in our country have such accounts.
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What problems does financial infidelity cause?
First, trust between spouses is destroyed. One day, secrets are revealed, and your partner also loses trust, leading to divorce.
Financial betrayal in the family is a time bomb
Finally, people who hide their income, debts or waste experience constant nervous tension. They cover up one lie with another, and as this tangle becomes more and more numerous, nerves can simply give out, and a scandal begins.
How to Avoid Financial Infidelity in Your Family
To avoid becoming a victim of a pyramid of lies, it is necessary to stop the possibility of root financial infidelity. Psychologists recommend:
- Discuss all money matters before the wedding and sign a prenuptial agreement. As is common in Europe, distribute financial responsibilities or agree on a shared budget in case one spouse is managing the finances.
- Communicate, share your desires with your partner and talk about your needs. And you won’t have to lie about the cost of the bags, you won’t have to secretly take out loans.
- Be honest about your income. Talk about the fact that you cannot give the entire amount and leave some percentage for your own needs. Alternatively, it can be deposited in a bank at interest. If your income is small and your spouse loves you, you should not exaggerate it; you will solve your financial problems together.
If you are already facing financial problems in your family, acknowledge the problem, identify its causes and discuss it with your spouse. If you cannot solve the problem together, a qualified psychologist can help you. Don’t hesitate to ask for help as it will help preserve your marriage and trust.
