BDSM Myths It”s Time to Stop Believing
The famous film series “Fifty Shades of Grey” drew attention to BDSM and the various sexual practices associated with this subculture. However, to this day, most people know nothing about BDSM culture, and new stereotypes and myths have emerged.
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What does BDSM really mean? The essence lies in the acronym itself, which consists of three parts.
BDSM literally means “bondage and discipline.” Bondage and discipline is one of the most common BDSM practices. It also includes play that involves establishing rules and a system of punishments.
DS — Dominance and Submission. This means that one person demonstrates their dominance in every possible way, gaining physical or emotional power over another.
In other words, BDSM is nothing more than “sadism and masochism.” These two terms are usually shortened to “sado-masochism.” Sadism is the psychological tendency to inflict pain, while masochism is the desire to experience that pain.
Typically, in BDSM play, one partner plays the role of the sadist (dominant), while the other, the masochist, follows suit.
Beware of Myth!
Now that we understand the term BDSM and what it means, it”s time to dispel some myths that have completely enveloped the BDSM community.
- Only crazy people join BDSM.
From the outside, it may seem like such sexual activity is just for the tastes of a few. Frankly, it”s not all in your head. This may sound rather crude, but unfortunately, this is how most newcomers perceive BDSM culture. However, according to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, over 65% of women surveyed fantasized about being dominant, 47% about being dominated by someone else, and 52% about being dominated. These numbers are staggering.
“It”s perfectly normal to fantasize about being dominated by someone else or imagining yourself in the role of a mistress/master. But many people are ashamed of this and therefore hide their desires,” says certified sex coach Stephanie Hunter-Jones. She maintains that BDSM fantasies are completely natural and shouldn”t be suppressed.
BDSM has always been associated with sex.
- Sex is an important part of BDSM culture, but it is not mandatory. Some people prefer submission and dominance, so intercourse is not as important to them, Jones explains. BDSM without sex is entirely possible. For some participants, this is a kind of culmination.
Members of the BDSM community are visible from afar
- This is also not entirely true. BDSM is used by a variety of people, from directors of large companies to donut sellers. You may see a man in a formal suit and tie with a briefcase, but in the evening he may be dressed in a latex suit.
For people, BDSM is particularly attractive because it allows them to express different aspects of their personality and release what is deep inside.
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If you like BDSM, you have a history of serious trauma
- One of the biggest mistakes regarding the BDSM community is that people practice this type of play because of traumatic situations that affect them too much.
A study published in 2013 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that members of the community were psychologically resilient and sometimes stronger than the general public.
The study authors write: “We conclude that BDSM is a fun pastime, but it will never help you cope with the pain of a traumatic experience.”
BDSM is emotionally damaging
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If contact is established between the participants in the game and there is no abuse, then such sexual practice can, on the contrary, benefit mental health.
*Vanilla relationships are “normal” relationships that do not involve BDSM. This term is used by members of the BDSM community to refer to people who are not part of the culture.
Dominant people will always remain dominant.
- When it comes to choosing roles, people can present themselves the way they want — both in the “top” role and in the “bottom” role. These roles may change during the same session.
Contrary to popular belief, the show is not actually dominated by a dominant personality. The session is completely controlled by the subordinate because he has a special safe word. This is a preliminary word that is known to all participants in the session. Its utterance means the immediate termination of the game. If a safe word is heard, the action will undoubtedly stop. This is the law.
The hero must save money. Of course, you can purchase BDSM accessories such as blindfolds, handcuffs, whips, chains, whips and ropes. But there”s a lot you can do with just your body, Jones explains. You can tickle your partner with your fingers, spank with your palms,..
Using the means at hand, you can also tie each other with scarves, ties and stockings. In fact, you may not need any other toys at all because your mind is the perfect playground.
Red velvet on the walls and lots of collars are, of course, good, but not necessary.
If your partner loves BDSM, this is the only type of sex available to you!
- If you”re new to BDSM and your partner is already experienced, you may want to dive into the culture and try the practice for yourself. However, don”t rush. Many BDSM lovers have a positive attitude towards regular sex. You have to go through this together — slowly and gradually.
It”s better to plan BDSM as a weekly meal. BDSM doesn”t have to start naturally, says Jones. You must be attentive to your safety — first of all, psychological.”
The BDSM community actually takes pride in the physical and emotional safety of their hobby. With the consent of all participants, the opportunity to stop the championship in the game is for lovers of such erotic practices.
Of course, it”s still an adventure. However, be aware that boxing, skydiving, diving and more can also be dangerous. However, all this is legal. In BDSM, as in many other disciplines, the main thing is to ensure maximum safety and comfort for participants, even if small risks do remain.
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