Dominance and Submission — 10 Rules for Unusual Relationships
After the release of the film “Fifty Shades of Grey,” many began to wonder about the blatant conspiracy based on male dominance and submission. Does this really happen in relationships? Is it exploited?
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Look around, and you”ll see that most women fall for dominant, strong, and powerful men, while fragile and sensitive women bide their time. But what is it really all about?
What is a dominant-submissive relationship?
The truth is, this type of relationship isn”t just about sex, although most people may think so. In fact, dominance and submission between a man and a woman can be seen in every aspect of their life together.
The dominant partner protects, directs, and guides the submissive, while the submissive is a fragile servant who exists to please the master. This may seem strange to most people, but in reality, this type of relationship really works. It can even be better than a standard one.
In this type of relationship, there are strict rules that submissives must follow. These aren”t extreme, but they must be respected and accepted to prevent the relationship from deteriorating. As in the aforementioned film, there is no need for a written agreement or contract. A frank conversation about what each partner wants from the relationship and what the submissive wants for the dominant partner is sufficient.
In most scenarios, the submissive partner”s boundaries will not be crossed. However, to ensure that boundaries are not crossed, the dominant partner must clearly understand where these boundaries lie. The best way to learn everything about a submissive partner is through honest communication, asking questions, and following the rules.
In a BDSM relationship built on submission and dominance, it”s crucial to keep something in mind. The roles of dominant and submissive are not absolute. They can be changed. For example, if a woman is the submissive, she can massage her partner and pleasure him in any way she wants, but the next day, their roles are reversed, and the man must pleasure his partner in every way.
This style of relationship is a completely normal way of life, but it involves two people, living for each other”s pleasure and taking it seriously. The dominant-submissive relationship does not differ from the standard one, but in the future it becomes more dynamic and open. Such relationships are always successful when the partners want the same things and have the same interest in BDSM.
Traits and roles of dominant partners
Each partner in this unusual relationship has unique characteristics, roles, and responsibilities. In many cases, men play a dominant role. Many such men like to be idolized and adored, obeyed and worshiped, and not everyone wants to make this tendency public, although it is not so easy to find. However, there are many features that distinguish them from other categories of men.
- A dominant man is always in control. Many people believe that sadists are of this type, but this is a misconception and understanding. Such men love power, they are leaders and do not pretend to women at all.
- It is worth noting that a dominant man always expects the satisfaction of any whim, but at the same time he never loses his sense of reality and all his desires are quite viable and harmless.
Traits and roles of submissive partners
The dominant exercises dominant control, but the submissive partner prefers to dominate, pleasing his partner in every possible way. This applies not only to the bedroom, but to any aspect of life where they can satisfy the needs of the dominant.
It is important to understand that submissives should not do anything they do not want to do. They are not slaves, but simply infected with a sincere desire to please their partner. Characteristics and roles of a submissive include:
- Always be ready to satisfy your partner”s every whim and need.
- Accepts and submits to control.
- Put your partner”s needs above all else.
- Demonstrate your desire to please the dominant in every possible way.
Read also: BDSM: terms and rules, types of relationships between partners
Forbidden sensations attract people with their abnormality and severity. Already in Ancient Greece, elements of BDSM were displayed on frescoes in temples. And today.
10 rules for dominant-submissive relationships
As stated earlier, this is a special type of relationship where rules need to be set so that everything works correctly and each party in the relationship gets what they need to be happy together.
In a relationship where there are no strict rules, submission exists and is created by the principles and desires of both parties.
- Openness.
Openness is very important in such relationships. There must be a bias towards the partners” values and worldview, especially regarding honesty and “nudity”. What”s the point? Well, in a relationship of dominance and submission, even if the person giving the orders is dominant, that doesn”t mean they can”t learn something from being submissive. It all depends on the desire to learn from each other.
Also, don”t be biased towards something new that you didn”t like the last time. You can always start over.
Dominance in relationships. ego state theory | how to control a girl and not let yourself be controlled
The only way to gain trust is to demonstrate reliability. A dominant person must demonstrate to their partner that they can be trusted. He respects the rules and doesn”t cross the line. If obedience is expected to be a servant, then the dominant must prove himself a worthy leader. Nowadays, one woman does not kneel before someone who doesn”t deserve it. This is why it is very important to gain their trust. Relationships should not be aggressive.
You should not expect your partner to fulfill all your crazy fantasies at this time. The bar of desire must be lowered so that the submissive”s needs are also met. Otherwise the relationship will end.
For example, a dominant should not expect his partner to start taking off her clothes and calling him master every time he appears at home. What if the dominant returns home with a work colleague, and what picture will he find? Naked woman at the door of the house. This is not about embarrassment, but about disgust at carrying out such an order.
The submissive partner must understand that he or she cannot and does not need to be praised for every action, no matter how pleasant and useful it may be. After all, a dominant can do many things on his own and does not need the presence or assistance of a submissive. Remember that a submissive is just a partner, not a slave.
Because communication is so important in this type of relationship, partners should explore each other to determine if they are suited for a dominant-submissive relationship. In private conversations, it”s crucial to address topics such as health, sexual needs, and previous experiences in this type of relationship. Women want their thoughts to be heard, but this isn”t easy. And if they aren”t voiced, they remain in their heads.
For example, if one partner wants to push boundaries a bit, this needs to be discussed in detail. However, if the partner refuses to communicate their desires and needs, the relationship is definitely doomed to failure.
Given the risk involved in this type of relationship, it”s crucial to choose safe words to use during sexual play. It”s recommended to avoid words commonly used in sexual scenarios (such as “stop,” “it hurts,” or “I don”t want to”). The word should be unusual so that the dominant person hears it and responds immediately.
You can also establish words to indicate that your partner is okay or that the play needs to stop immediately. Otherwise, your partner could be seriously injured. Many people use a “traffic light” system of words. Green means “go ahead,” yellow means “tread carefully,” and red means simply “stop!” The dominant partner must follow safe words to ensure the relationship develops without harm.
In a submissive-dominant relationship, both partners must be mentally and physically healthy. This includes healthy and restful sleep, minimal alcohol consumption, a nutritious diet, and a stress-free lifestyle. If the submissive is unable to meet the dominant”s needs due to health issues, they should not be forced.
It is recommended to help the submissive recuperate and give them as much free time as they need by any means necessary. Respect each other”s comfort zones and do not experiment without the other partner”s consent. There are more important things in life than sex, so if the submissive cannot keep the dominant satisfied and happy, it”s time to stop. It”s not worth it.
Why do people do all this? To have fun, right? Both partners incorporate the roles of servant and master into their lives to have fun and enjoy the relationship on a whole new level. Therefore we must respect each other. It”s not about punishing someone because it”s easy, or doing what is necessary to please someone else. We must look for joy in every role and remember where it all began. In other words, the desire to get the most out of the relationship.
A dominant person should not order his partner to run at every turn. You need to feel each other, communicate and be able to soften. Nothing can go in a hurry. A humble person always has time to be grateful. A dominant person must be gentle and considerate, even if it is not in his power to be dominant. If you put in the extra effort and truly learn to be patient with each other, the relationship will last much longer.
- Follow the rules
If rules were established at the beginning of the relationship between partners, they should be followed. At the last moment, you cannot refuse something without warning your partner, or take the initiative with something new. Relationships should be built on trust, and rules are created to strengthen it. In any case, you can always calmly discuss everything, make a decision and come to a mutual agreement.
