Why do people enjoy BDSM, and why is it normal?
Today, everyone has a basic understanding of BDSM—largely thanks to the film “Fifty Shades of Grey,” its impressive popularity. Latex, spikes, whips, handcuffs, chains—all these attributes of kinky sex are often seen in films and online.
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But what”s really behind the strange outfits and leather eyelashes in the bedroom? Why do people want their loved ones to hurt them? Why do so many people want to have sex with their loved ones? And why can”t some people imagine their lives without it?
To answer this question, we invite you to delve into the strange and wonderful world of BDSM culture and its psychological aspects.
BDSM is not a deviation
For over a century, people who used beatings and humiliation for sexual pleasure were considered mentally ill. To this day, many believe that BDSM is a form of mental disorder and exists only in the mentally ill. But rest assured—this is nonsense.
BDSM is practiced by a wide variety of people from all walks of life. In the 1980s, the American Psychiatric Association removed sadomasochism from its list of mental disorders. This decision was an important step toward social acceptance of people whose sexual desires are not “vanilla,” as BDSM slang would have it.
At its core, BDSM is a kinky game in which the safety of all participants is paramount, and there”s nothing wrong with that. Even the science of the mind and human behavior has finally agreed with this.
How many people enjoy BDSM?
First, let”s look at the statistics. Have you ever wondered how many people have this fetish? Researchers estimate the number to be between 2% and 62%. That”s right. That”s how big the difference is. This is because when you ask people about their sexual practices, the wording of the question matters.
For example, a survey conducted in Australia yielded some very interesting results. Researchers asked people whether they had participated in BDSM in the past 12 months. 1. 3% of women and 2. 2% of men answered affirmatively.
After rephrasing the question: Does your BDSM include sexual fantasies? 64. 6% of women and 53. 3% of men reported thoughts of sexual dominance, while 46. 7% of women and 59. 6% of men admitted to fantasizing about being dominated.
So, despite the differences in question wording, it”s safe to say that a significant number of women and men do fantasize about or engage in some form of BDSM.
What”s wrong with people who enjoy BDSM?
Spoiler: they have everything right. Our old friend Sigmund Freud claimed that thoughts of humiliation and violence during sex are a sign of mental health problems, but modern research suggests otherwise.
Research has shown that BDSM practitioners tend to have lower rates of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) than the general population. Read also:
BDSM Relationship Trend: Why BDSM Is Gaining Popularity A few years ago, only those directly involved in BDSM knew about it. For those not in the know, such relationships were known as “sadomasochism.”
Furthermore, BDSM fetishists showed higher levels of extroversion, mindfulness, openness to new experiences, and subjective well-being. People with this fetish also showed low levels of neuroticism and high levels of stress tolerance.
A number of psychological problems are still reported among community members. Levels of OCD, narcissism, and dissociation were higher than in others. Overall, however, BDSM practitioners can be considered psychologically healthier. Impressive, isn”t it?
The Psychology of Pain
The psychology of pain
Common sense tells us that humans generally seek pleasure and avoid pain. In fact, this is our survival instinct. If something causes us pain, we immediately look for ways to stop it or distance ourselves. However, this doesn”t always happen. Things like body modification and BDSM don”t fit into the concept of survival instinct.
Masochism, BDSM
Masochism, BDSM
The signal is interpreted as a “burning sensation” in the legs, causing the runner to slow down or stop. This signal travels to the nervous system”s control center, the hippocampus. This part of the brain responds to pain signals and instructs the body to produce its own “drug”—endorphins.
The Theory of “Harmless Masochism”
The theory of “harmless masochism”
It”s worth noting that animals can”t do this. This form of behavior is unique to humans. And it”s quite possible that this phenomenon lies behind the psychology of BDSM.
Indeed, we enjoy unpleasant sensations, such as riding a roller coaster or watching sad, tear-jerking movies. For the same reason, some people are prone to sadomasochism.
How does BDSM affect people?
How does BDSM affect people?
According to the results of this study, both the dominant and the submissive experience an intense surge of several pleasure hormones during the session, triggered by an altered state of consciousness. This is another reason why some people prefer BDSM to regular sex.
It”s time to sum it up. Contrary to popular belief, people who practice BDSM in their sex lives are no different from other social groups (and are sometimes even psychologically stable).
The nature of the attraction to sadomasochism is not yet fully understood, but can be explained by the theory of “safe masochism.” It”s pointless to deny that there is pleasure in pain. We are all susceptible to its attraction.
Mikhail Labkovsky: “The Psychology of BDSM”
