My boyfriend chooses porn over sex with me. What should I do?

They argue, blame each other, and make ultimatums pointless. It”s important to understand and find the root of the problem.

Contents of the article:

• Why is he doing this?
• Is there a problem?

Why is he doing this?

• He just wants to relax.

. And do it without wasting energy. No fuss, no problems—one or two, that”s all, no orgasm! “Women typically need more communication, romance, and foreplay. And your guy just wants it over with,” explains clinical sexologist Debra Reno. Generally, this position is understandable. If you have a favorite adult toy, it”s easier to spend a few minutes (or even seconds!) with your partner than to engage in real sex. And you already know that sometimes it”s easier to spend. If this happens occasionally, don”t worry—it”s not a problem.

• He needs sex more than you do. It”s a fairly common situation for a man to use pornography to smooth over differences in sexual temperament. Are you content with sex less than once a week, but he wants it every day? In this case, pornography and masturbation are good options for you. Perhaps he”s reluctant to initiate sex and is used to turning directly to pornography. He doesn”t want to feel rejected again.

He has a secret fetish.

• Perhaps he has fantasies he”s afraid to share with you. What if you think this is abnormal? Well, what if you simply refuse to act out his fantasies and suddenly laugh at him or look at him with a slight vacancy? No. You”re not allowed to laugh at him, you”re not allowed to look at him. It”s easy to watch pornography about this and end up quietly fantasizing about it. Read also:

6 Reasons Why You Don”t Want Sex with Your Guy Even When You”re Deeply in Love

“I don”t want my man”—despite women”s belief that their situation is unique, this phrase is often heard in psychologists” offices. Many women There are unresolved disputes, unspoken grievances, unresolved issues. Pornography can help you avoid uncomfortable conversations and relieve tension is there a problem?

Viewing pornography in itself is not a very serious problem. However, if his love for adult films begins to overshadow your intimate life, it”s time to sound the alarm. If he constantly chooses pornography instead of having sex with you, something is clearly wrong. The man has an unhealthy addiction to pornography, a problem in your relationship, or something else. The man hid from you, cheated on you when he watched porn, and sex in your couple almost disappeared? It”s time to talk to your heart,” he warns Reno. Sexologist Carol Quinn states. “Make an effort to reconnect. Take the initiative next time you want sex. Start talking openly about your sexual fetishes and encourage him to do the same. Watch pornography together and learn more about what turns you both on. If, after all your efforts, he continues to choose pornography instead of you, it may be worth contacting a psychologist who works with the couple.” And this is perhaps the most reasonable approach — you explain your position to the person, try to understand him and take the first step. Further events already depend on him. Do not try to drag the relationship onto yourself — this is still a team effort.

Is there a problem?

Guy chooses porn instead of sexguy chooses porn instead of sex