How to make new acquaintances at a bar: tips from bartenders
When you’re on a date at a bar, you feel your own presence, your passion. Your attention is focused only on the subject of sighs. It seems like there are only two people left in the world. But in reality this is not the case.
Contents of the article:
People like to listen to other people’s conversations. People within a radius of at least two tables will most likely overhear you. And the person you’re sitting with will bet on what your date is. About the bartender who is the “third” on your date, we can say the following.
Excessive curiosity? How do they laugh? Such thoughts arise in your head. But you yourself sometimes behave this way. Don’t rush to step on the floor and knock. You may be overly curious without realizing it. Imagine that you are on the subway and someone calls on the phone. You eavesdrop on conversations even if you don’t want to. Others also eavesdrop, not paying attention to a couple of nice conversations. In a bar, the central figure through whom all the drama, fun and scandal passes is the bartender.
They are very attentive because a bartender’s job is to take care of the customer’s needs – which is what their profession requires. In addition to serving, the bartenders are brilliant at reading body language and pouring margaritas into glasses at the same time. As strangers, they see and hear everything you do, even if it seems to them that your behavior is invisible to others.
Sure, they’re not psychology experts, but they follow life and have enough dates to accurately tell the difference between a friend giving you a second chance or throwing a cocktail in your face at the end of a meeting.
Based on their personal knowledge, several bartenders with experience in the industry have shared four important dating etiquette tips that men should always follow.
Don’t force your crush to drink
Nobody likes to be forced to do something they don’t want to do. Regardless of the nature of the date, you should be persistent and not ask the woman to drink more than you want.
Max A. Bartender, who has worked in New York City bars for more than nine years, says girls feel unsafe when guys try to get them drunk. They feel like there’s a purpose behind it, and it’s clearly not a friendly conversation.
Read also: How to learn to ask for forgiveness correctly: advice from psychologists
many people believe that asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness. This happens because many people make a lot of mistakes and ask awkwardly.
However, guys don’t always set themselves the goal of getting girls drunk. Andy, a 24-year-old bartender from Cleveland, was forced to intervene as well-meaning women bought cocktail after cocktail for the cute guys.
Often such incidents end up depending on the unconscious, with much less left in the pocket of the “predator/prey”. Bartenders sometimes refuse to sell drinks (if the “victim” asks for a refill) in anticipation of such an ending.
Don’t hint at sex
Do not make vague hints that you were flirting with someone and that someone willingly starts flirting and does not make dirty jokes – this will ruin the evening. This behavior only causes embarrassment, awkwardness and a desire to end the date quickly. It is important to show respect and courtesy to your partner; vulgar statements indicate the opposite.
Sexual innuendos and jokes when it comes to boundaries, and frivolity when it comes to conversations. Also, in crowded places, strangers hear these words, which can make them feel awkward.
How to become a good bartender? (6 steps)
Don’t take the conversation into your own hands
Even though you want to talk about yourself as soon as possible, do not forget to take breaks so that the air caused by excitement does not run out. Remember that everything you say is very interesting and exciting, but give your partner the opportunity to speak. There is no need to wait until the passion begins to fall asleep.
To build warm relationships, to bring people closer together, it is necessary to ensure that everyone has an equal say. Choose topics that make your partner feel involved in the conversation.
Don’t identify a date as a means to an end.
Deadlines are not the way to get things done. This is true when going with the flow is the only true path. Also, trust the moment rather than making Napoleonic plans for the sake of passion. If you don’t expect much, then you won’t be disappointed.
It is difficult to predict the completion of deadlines. Do not plan the course of future events – trust chance, emotions. Often these are the dates that go according to the best scenario and bring a pleasant ending to both.
The above tips are not a panacea or an axiom. Naturally, there are exceptions and forces at play, but generally the focus is on the majority. Be sweet, kind, polite and not simple – then you will have fun, and the girl will definitely want to see you again.
10 mistakes that men make when meeting a girl. “I won’t date!”
