How to Have Good Sex When You”re Both Stressed
Sex is a strange thing, it”s a way of life. At the same time, this can be a great way to relieve excess stress, put your head down and calm down (it can also help with insomnia, since after sex the body is tired from physical work and the powerful release of hormones), but at the same time, for good sex you need to somehow relieve stress. There is a need. How to get out of this vicious circle — read below.
Contents of the article:
Talk about something neutral
So, if you”re both stressed and going through a difficult time in your lives, chances are you”re talking to each other at home about what”s bothering you the most. And this is normal and correct. This means being open-minded, trusting each other, and supporting each other through difficult times. However, switching to a playful mood when five minutes earlier you were talking about something negative and discussing how everything shocked you will not work.
Therefore, start anti-stress sex with a conversation about something calm and relaxing, and not with sex itself, and do not evoke sharp negative emotions. Share fond memories of your childhood or youth, discuss a movie you recently watched, chat with a friend (everyone does it, after all), or watch funny videos on YouTube.
Then relax a little and take your mind off the stressors to get onto a smoother plane.
Make more jokes
Not only before sex, but also, as a rule, during sex. Humor, as a rule, is an excellent defensive reaction, a way not to succumb to stress, to alleviate the condition, to distract from everything bad. And humor is also a form of aggression. They say: I am not afraid of you, stress person, I will destroy you from teasing! After all, as they say, it is impossible to be afraid of what makes you laugh. Like a ridiculous spell in Harry Potter.
How does it help with sexual problems? First, the more you tell jokes, the more you laugh, and the less afraid you are, generally the less stressful your life will be. From such an atmosphere it is much easier to switch to a playful and sensual mood than from an atmosphere of future despondency and fear. Secondly, you can joke in bed!
When you are going through a stressful period, it is great if your relationship as a couple and your bed becomes an oasis of calm, fun, relaxation and security. Besides, if one of you can”t relax and sex (penetration, orgasm) doesn”t work out in the classic sense, it”s much more fun to laugh about it and spend the rest of the night cuddling. Have fun banter instead of seeing it as another source of stress.
Create a relaxing atmosphere
Whether you”re wearing a coffin or white slippers, with all sorts of stereotypical candles, intimate sunsets, essential oils and romantic howls in the background, the atmosphere still plays a role and can affect anyone”s mood. Unacceptable. At least remember yourself. Surely the sight of beauty improves your mood at least a little? This rule also works at home.
Read also: A short guide on how to have sex without anyone knowing about it
She lives in a communal apartment, a hostel, lives with her parents, but Bannery comes to the dacha on weekends. And it seems: what complications could there be? Keep your mouth shut. Then.
A relaxed atmosphere is created for each of you. Create something of your own that your couple will personally like. For some, it”s really twilight, candles and incense. Some people wrap themselves in a blanket, turn off the lights, watch Game of Thrones until they”re blue in the face, and order pizza. Some walk to their favorite music and dance, laugh and sing along with their favorite tunes. For some, it”s making a pie together and hugging along the way.
Do things you enjoy and spend time with each other. After all, that”s where good sex begins, not when you”re already separated and ready to mate each other”s genitals.
Turn on the music
If we talk about a relaxing atmosphere, then music creates a plus five. It can be arousing during sex, especially if you find it difficult to relax.
If you can help her relax and embrace a carefree or relaxed attitude towards music, she may become just what you like. (Look around, turn around, the spirits want to contact you!).
And if we talk about sexual music, it is also very different. For example:
- A song by Adele or Lana Del Rey. Sensual, sensual vocals with a sexy female voice with a thrilling velvety vibrato, sensual vocals, just what you need.
- How about the energetic and determined Maneskin?
This whole band literally burns all the flamboyant, assertive sexuality into dust, from the appearance of the lead singers, their behavior on stage and ending with the performance of the song (seriously: “I want to be your slave, I want to be your master,” isn’t that sexy? Isn’t it?”) Plus, the aggressive and determined vocals help to get all the unnecessary thoughts out of your head.
The most famous are Daniel Lavoie and Gal, owners of incredibly sexy and sensual voices. Their songs are written in a romantic, sensitive and romantic way rather than in an energetic, decisive and aggressive way. Another plus: you probably don”t know French very well, so don”t think about the text and don”t get distracted by it.
How to have sex for the first time?
Work with your breath
This is the advice in the “during sex” section. During hugs, kisses or foreplay, focus on your breathing, on yourself and your partner, inhale and exhale, listen to how your partner breathes, quickly or slowly, intermittently or evenly.
Why does it give what it gives?
Firstly, it calms you down, slows your heart rate and makes you feel calmer. In other words, he is more relaxed.
Secondly, by consciously concentrating on what is happening here, you are now “thinking about England” during the most intimate process, reducing the risk that during sex your thoughts will fly somewhere into the realm of the amazing. Ultimately, this is the key to good sex, stress or no stress, it doesn”t matter what you”re focusing on — your emotions. By the way, yes: it is.
Thirdly, in this practice we listen to our breathing, as well as our body as a whole. This way, even light caresses and touches will seem more exciting. This means that it will be more difficult to fly off somewhere with an idea.
Fourth, it can increase sexual pleasure. Orgasm occurs due to blood flow to the genitals. When you breathe deeply, blood circulation improves, the heart becomes stronger, and blood flows more actively to the reproductive organs.
Don”t just kiss during sex
First of all, kissing is good. The lips contain a lot of nerve endings, almost as many as the nipples (seriously!). Their stimulation causes an immediate response in the pleasure area of the brain.
Secondly, remember that you are not only kissing in bed, but you are also in a relationship with each other, primarily a couple, partners, close people, and not just in a shared apartment. And you are close, you love each other.
Thirdly, kissing can easily and naturally flow into sex, without any preparatory maneuvers!
