Why do loving people quarrel — what to do about it and how to avoid it
Why love people is an eternal question to which there are many answers and no medicine that can solve this problem. It is almost impossible to meet couples without conflicts. This is because people in love have stronger feelings for their partners than anyone else, both positive and negative. Such problems are not very pronounced when couples do not live together. This happens because long splits cause people to not pay attention to the negativity. However, because people are always together, it is impossible to avoid conflicts in married couples and there is no way to get rid of negative energy. However, the damage from such conflicts can be minimized.
Contents of the article:
What causes quarrels?
There are a huge number of reasons for conflicts between loved ones, among which several main groups can be distinguished.
- In most cases, controversial situations arise because people do not talk to each other.
- The reasons for this can be divided into two groups.
The first involves situations where one of the couple hides facts about the past, and the other hides similar facts about the time of communication. Because of this, mistrust arises, partners suspect betrayal, are very worried and begin to initiate disputes, always on this basis.
The second includes situations where both partners hide negativity inside themselves. The partner in any relationship does not express his complaints. Unfortunately, it is impossible to constantly suppress negativity, and it can accumulate over time and spill out at the most unexpected moments. Just by not washing the cup, you can hear an incredible amount of revelations about yourself. Therefore, the second partner does not tolerate this and expresses everything that has accumulated in him during this time.
The duration of such relationships usually does not exceed several months. The worst thing is that when such people start a family, they only cause scandals in the office, and children often grow up against the background of this.
- Conflict due to mental imbalance is one of the partners.
- It is not associated with mental illness. Such people include perfectionists, for example. They can become angry over the slightest infraction. For example, he may yell at the latter because the shampoo is on the wrong shelf. For an ordinary person, such a statement is simply ridiculous. It is impossible to correct such a person, but it is also impractical to adapt to his quirks. He must fight this problem.
Read also: Why do men leave loving women? 5 reasons for this action
That”s it. He left. Everything remains, but not much. Hysteria, tears, panic. Did something go wrong? At what point did you make a fatal mistake? Convulsive.
Often the creators of conflict are those who suffer from intermediate crises. They are subject to constant stress and anxiety. Therefore, the mood is not constant. Even when a person is cheerful, everything can change at any moment. This behavior negatively affects the other half and causes quarrels.
- Arguments against the backdrop of unfulfilled needs.
The fulfillment of needs lies at the core of every human life and is the basis of relationships. Some of them are CALLED basic and very easy to satisfy, others are almost impossible.
Constant quarrels in couples | why do people fight? #psychology
All human needs are divided into groups.
- Physiological — they are also called animals (because this group includes hunger, thirst and sexual desire), and on their basis it is very easy to suppress conflict.
- Need for Security — Women tend to start trashing this issue when they feel like their boyfriends didn”t protect them when they needed it.
- Need for respect — when there is no respect in a couple, conflicts constantly arise that cannot be resolved because the partners do not respect each other.
- Cognitive needs are the highest level needs, and conflicts based on them are usually associated with the inability to attend events, institutions or travel.
- Aesthetic needs — those related to harmony, beauty and order, such as excess weight, bad dress, makeup, hairstyle, etc., can become a cause of quarrels if someone or a couple is not happy with the appearance of their second carpet.
How to stop quarreling
Once you understand why lovers quarrel, you should figure out how to avoid these quarrels. First of all, all issues need to be discussed in early childhood, when it is possible to break through only through open debate. Often, many years of ideal relationships are interrupted due to one scandal, when long-accumulated “abundant dirt” is poured out on each other. Secondly, you must be able to listen to your loved one. From every quarrel you need to be able to draw the right conclusions that will help avoid conflicts in the future.
Quarrels in couples: the most common causes of quarrels in happy couples. Why do people fight?
