Polygamy — Why Do Russian Women Want to Become Second Wives?
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In Russia, unusual marriages such as polygamy, triads, and polyamory are still considered impractical. And the answer to the question “Why?” is quite obvious: the strong influence of Christianity and tradition, which affects even the most religious and unconventional individuals. But it would be foolish to claim that polygamy is completely absent from our country. Many couples live happily with very large families, unaware of the troubles and problems, but causing confusion among those around them.
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Our country lacks spouses willing to share their experiences of polygamy. Try to find an example of a normal family with at least two or three wives, and you”ll discover that the family is not monogamous, but polygamous. What did people in such marriages experience, and what challenges did they face?
Polygamy is Real — The Story of Ordinary Russians
It”s hard to imagine, but an ordinary Russian man, Ivan Sokhov, currently has 25 children and several wives (and he has no plans to stop there).
Leave all prejudices and criticism behind. Because this man came to polygamy very simply, without “perversions” or complex experiments. Ivan was attracted to several women at once and couldn”t decide on just one. Who failed? The decision came to him quickly; he chose to love them all, and he was right!
What distinguishes polygamists? First, it”s worth understanding what differences we”re looking for. Ivan and his wife”s fundamental principles are strong family values and the belief that family is an unbreakable force that holds them together and supports each other. According to Ivan, “having a large circle of relatives helps you in life.” And yes, if you”re sympathizing with your big dad right now, it”s best to sympathize with you. Despite the complexity of his life, the man believes he made the only right choice.
But that”s a man”s perspective. What do women think about female polygamy? For example, Ivan”s first wife doesn”t regret her unusual marriage at all. They met in their youth, and back then, she found it difficult to accept her lover”s views (which isn”t surprising in Russia), but she decided, “I”m not polygamous.”
The mother of eight children admits that polygamy is no different from the marriages we are used to: “I am not a polygamist. The main thing is that the man can provide for a huge family and be its main support.
Read also: Why do young men like older women?
Most often, the problem of why older women like them is not too acute for young men. Sympathy for the opposite sex of all.
Can Every Woman Convert to Polygamy?
Anna, Ivan’s second wife, talked about why polygamy is not as common as monogamous marriages in the same number. It’s not about faith, not about education, but about your own desires and preferences. All male spouses had once considered the possibility of a monogamous relationship, so it was easy for them to agree to marriage.
Despite all the positive aspects, Anna initially found it difficult to get along with his first wife. They gained respect and interest for a long time. It is important to make it clear that they are not friends with each other, they are one family. If an accident happens to someone or one of the family members gets into trouble, they are not afraid of problems. Because there is always a reliable shoulder to turn to. Okay.
Controversial Points in Polygamy
Ivan”s wife can be sure that their husband will not cheat on them simply because he is not as interested as they are. Despite prejudices, they do not force anyone into a big marriage; the girls themselves chose this path for themselves.
Why Women Agree to Become “Second Wives”
Another thing is that complete patriarchy rules Ivan marriages. The question of who will become his wife cannot be decided within the family, and the same applies to all children. This man”s young daughter was accustomed to such a life and simply said that she wanted to have a polygamous husband. At the same time, she does not intend to look for a marriage party on her own. Her father does it for her. After all, he knows exactly where and with whom his daughter gets along.
For people in monogamous families, where the mood of the partners often prevails, and parents share responsibility in half, this is difficult to accept. However, Ivan reasons this way: his wife will never work.
“Women Are a Jewel; They”re Not for Working”
This is the opinion of most monogamists. The main priority is the desire to have and raise as many children as possible. falls entirely on the shoulders of the husband, who will never allow his wife to work. Is this good or does it infringe on a girl’s right to self-realization?
Ivan quickly answered. Polygamists give each potential wife a day to think about and clearly state the terms of their marriage. The likelihood of getting burned and falling into the trap of slavery is minimal. This is precisely the question: “What if the spouse wants to leave?” The question is this. Perhaps he did not expect such an outcome at all.
Jealousy and Problems Between Wives
It is not surprising that newly-made spouses are jealous that their loved one has chosen another woman today. In Ivan’s family, this moment is resolved in a civilized way — they sit down at the table and talk. Sooner or later, all spouses understand that they are one family and that they cannot separate their husbands.
It is difficult to imagine such a family existing and living well, without problems. But it”s possible! As Ivan says, their families radiate love and kindness. If they like to live with extended family, then it is wrong to judge them. However, for many Russians such marriages remain very difficult to understand.
