How to get over a breakup or 10 tips for a lost relationship
Breakups are a little like death, as one song says. Survival is difficult, but it can be done. Of course, not everyone will succeed, but we don”t strive to be bad. We must try to do everything to become a Phoenix, and not stupid shit in a hole in the ice.
Contents of the article:
What Science Says
Love is a drug. Real. As a result of the chemical bond that occurs between lovers, two hormones are produced: oxytacin and dopamine. They are produced during heroin addiction. Well, then by analogy: no drug — hello, break! Stress hormones come to the fore. And they are enthusiasts who walk through the body’s systems and start a riot. As a result, immunity declines, like the subcutaneous digestive tract. As a rule, the body begins to vacuum. At this time, a surge of messages from all those abandoned begins: “I’m in the hospital, I’m dying, I’m in intensive care,” well, everything like that. The most interesting thing is that physical pain is actually an illusion. These are games the brain plays that make you feel sick. Therefore, get off the potty, remove the bandages from your head, remove the Corvalol. Everything in the body is in its place. Start working on your mistakes and start climbing from hell.
Vitamin of suffering
When the balance in the body is disturbed, vitamins are taken. Suffering is a kind of vitamin. You must suffer a lot. To set up an artificial circus tent, they say: “Oh, damn, finally I can visit the West.” At least it”s stupid. If you don’t duplicate it now, hysteria will flare up at the most inopportune moment. Is this necessary? Thus, the green light, screams, screams receive a microphone, a series of non-stop modes, a sad song in the background throughout the day. The secret is that the brain cannot tolerate this madness for long and stops pouring salt into the wound. But you cannot listen to compassionate pandits preaching on the topic “Breakups are not a tragedy”! Let them go to the forest!
Worm of guilt
A worm is a worm. It chooses something, digs and overtakes something. Worms are the same. Press down on the root! Blame yourself for the latter. The rupture does not happen in one second. This is not death. The decision to join takes some time. Sometimes it can be very long. All this time there is a process of awareness and understanding. And it doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup. Both come on line. Only one person sees it, and the other pretends not to notice the control point. Subsequently, this initiates awareness of the behavioral jam, but partners cannot remain silent, but can show it in time. Yes, both are responsible. Let it be both, and not one and the same. The only thing you can do to help yourself overcome your guilt is to justify yourself.
Good riddance
Returning your partner is stupid. He packed his backpack, put on his bastard boots and tied his belt! Good luck! First of all, you should be proud of yourself. Follow him. But that assumes your partner left him at sunset because he was an idiot. Secondly, if he leaves because of your injections, that”s your problem. It should have worked correctly before. Hanging weights on your leg and promising to fix the situation does not help. Trust was broken and, as before, it is still gone. Yes, this cannot be completely corrected. It is very difficult to break yourself, and not everyone can do it. So let things take their course. It”s his right. And you are waiting for a completely different person who accepts all the clouds.
Time for business, time for fun
So, moans, groans, moans, your back is already numb from the endless felt of the sofa, the priests can’t fit into their jeans? So it”s time to get back to life. Finally, find another cake. But in fact, a breakup is a great opportunity to shake out the dust from a long box. It”s best if these are things that your partner doesn”t approve of. Dancing, gym, megabike get-togethers, bungee jumping, paragliding. Yes, whatever. Maybe you had a wild desire to get a dog? Well, take it! You already can! In general, do and create everything that caused protests and a slight empathic “f”.
The refrigerator is your best friend
As you know, when you break up, your best friend is the refrigerator! Many people say that when they are stressed, nothing comes down to their throats. Well, yes, no doubt, Borsht’s ship looks somewhat slow against the backdrop of universal sadness. And she won”t help. What do you need now? Yes, oxytacin and dopamine. And to make these “friends” stand out, they must be delicious! You can destroy the entire confectionery sector, McDonald”s or a sushi bar. The main thing is, do not deny yourself! And do not be afraid of your butt. When you move, leave the house and wander around the park with a sad face, she will sit calmly in her jeans and will not try to cross the permitted borders. Yes, the nutritionist and Fitonyashki have already started throwing slippers at the monitor, but never mind, it’s better to start breaking up. If you don’t fanatical, enjoy the sport and don”t forget.
“The road is my home. And this is not the place for love.”
The cool, sad song of Chicherina and Bi-2 is a kind of hint. Backpacks behind and in front pave the route into the unknown. If possible, you need to travel. It”s not just about travel. Lying on the beach, how about an adventure with jellyfish. You need a ride like this to get your adrenaline pumping. This is a campaign or a raft. In every city there are tourists in worn sneakers who organize such trips. Come here and go see them! Believe me, when you are on the rise, have a 40 kg backpack on your back, and another 10 km ahead, you will not suffer. And how proud you will be when you do it! It”s winter in the garden and you think your campaign idea has failed? But but!!! There are many campaigns on the winter route — and they are all very good. So don”t make excuses, get together!
Read also: How to survive a crisis in a relationship and not lose love? even the happiest couples have moments when it seems like everything is over. Don”t rush to put an end to it or burn bridges. If you both love each other, you.
Burn bridges
So, the fridge is packed, the backpacks are packed, and the bridges are left to burn. What do you need to do? Destroy all traces of your former love. Photos, videos, objects, gifts, especially if they have no value. Sure, selling a diamond ring or giving away a drone will kill it, but you can give away or throw away a purse or belt. Don”t skimp on photos and videos. What”s their value? All they do is show your grandchildren a young woman with music and a dashing spirit. But do you really think your future partner will suffer from such a library of memories? So throw them away, shed a tear, and wash them away. By the way, you can print out a few photos, remember all the nasty things you put in there, get angry, and smash everything to pieces. Into tiny pieces! And burn it on a plate! A TV in the window! Great, right?
Seclusion is harmful!
Staying cooped up is the worst thing you can do. Remember your friends. Rebuild the Russian Federation with the people who banished your partner. Guys happily return to football nights, and girls reminisce about the “golden” days of shopping. So call everyone you haven”t seen in a while, invite them over, and throw a party. Don”t drill after 11:00 PM—only your neighbors will regret it. If you don”t have many friends, volunteer. It”s a great way to find new like-minded people. Volunteering at a hospice shows you real grief and makes your problems seem insignificant compared to the woes of others. There are plenty of opportunities to talk to strangers who will listen to your story and offer advice.
Best employee
Did you know that time and work ruin everything? Put your heart and soul into your work. Set a goal to become the best employee of the month, consider suggestions for streamlining, preserving overtime, and providing substitutes. This approach to work can lead to a lot: promotions, government support, salary increases, or benefits. For example, as a government agency, you can take refresher courses if you”re not initially thrilled with West Sight Kiuki. Then you have the opportunity to gain knowledge and potentially change jobs.
What NOT to do
Now let”s talk about what mistakes you can make when trying to get over a breakup. Remember that bad thoughts have no place in your head! Everything that happens to you happens to absolutely everything. You are surrounded by many people who need your love, who love you. Imagine what would happen to them if they lost you. In the movie, “Unhappy Love” looks romantic. You died, and all your life partners bear this cross. Yes, fuck! He has nothing. He eats, drinks and sleeps calmly. His verdict is the same: “Idiocy!” That”s all he says. The cross is carried by your parental relative or friend. Or do you already have children? What example are you setting for him? What illnesses and weaknesses are normal? What is it useless to fight against and you need to drive yourself into the grave? This is all complete nonsense. For some reason, when breaking up, many friends begin to recommend this particular model of behavior. Huh, how stupid! You will gain nothing but a damaged reputation. You don”t need to register on all dating sites right away. There is no need to immediately try to start a new relationship. Yes, you need affection now, the bed is cold and there is no one to cook breakfast. But how many people pass through your bed? Frying eggs in the morning? Terrible! Flowers do not grow on well-trodden roads. Remember this ratio.
- Leave your social networks alone!
Are you endlessly straining your social media? What will you find on the page of the person who dumped you? Everything is with him, and he lives a normal full life, in which you have no place. Well, let him live! Get involved! But you don”t have to show how well you”re living on your profile. And don’t try to post tearful pictures or sayings on your page. Firstly, these are works from the series “Kindergarten “Romashka”. Secondly, this does not return the partner. Thirdly, he is not concerned about all these philosophical topics. No, of course, if you feed pigeons at the foot of the Eiffel Tower, it would be a sin not to “post” such photographs. Post ordinary photographs and pictures. No more. There is really nothing to do there. This way you can organize a complete observation. Ask friends, find out the latest news, look for chance encounters. Bruiser! It’s even worse to try to tell your ex or your ex’s new passion “FU.” However, there are those who do such things, only psychiatrists can understand.
- Don”t touch your friends.
One more point: there are many sins. When a couple has been together for a long time, they have one social circle. We”re talking about friends; we talk about the friends we have. After a breakup, some people begin to claim exclusive rights over their friends to share. None of them do this. The environment allows you to choose who you are with. Someone will join your camp, someone will remain neutral, and someone will leave after the first. People have different values. Attachment comes in different forms. Don”t judge those who leave. It”s their right. It is strictly forbidden to shame a deceased person. Consider the person to have “died” for you. And about the dead you can only say good things or nothing. So there you go. When you established a relationship, it was your choice, your love, your decision. He was close to you. When you start trashing people, you automatically trash yourself. Remember that the dirt may not reach the person, but it will remain on your hands. Yes, and this behavior may turn people away from you and decide to stay by your side. Imagine them sitting there, listening to your comments and thinking about what awaits them if they decide to break off their relationship with you. Such verbal diarrhea? So it’s very promising. When you say goodbye, is it worse when they take the form of banking services? Are you a bank employee? Demanding the return of all gifts, regardless of their value, is a terrible move. The person wants to receive it, so he returns it himself. He doesn”t want to, let them stay with him. Even if he accepts the car as a gift. Finally, when everything was perfect, the gifts were presented. And they were given from the heart. So let them stay there. But you, in turn, “accept it.” and do not proclaim pity for him. Approach things wisely. Are you a girl and do you have a lot of soft toys? Well, trample them on the playground and give them to all the children. Are you a man and have a lot of Legos? Think the same. The end of a story is always the beginning of a new story. Some time will pass, and you will easily remember this relationship, if it existed. You will undoubtedly have new ones, more mature and more productive. We all learn, gain valuable experiences, and go through interesting explorations like breaking up.
