How to get rid of feelings of jealousy and mistrust?
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Jealousy means love, and without jealousy there is no love. If you analyze the meaning of these words in detail, you will find many contradictions. For example, why do so many couples break up because of this emotion? Or why is jealousy designated as a destructive emotion? Understanding this and how to get rid of jealousy is necessary even before the first scandal based on mistrust begins.
Contents of the article:
What is it?
Within this concept, as already mentioned, there are destructive (destructive) feelings that a person experiences due to a feeling of lack of something (for example, attention) from another person (for example, a girl). This is the attention of a person who is not a good person. By the way, this feeling can be chronic and is called jealousy. In some cases, this picture may be considered a disease.
If there is no relationship in such situations, then the emotion is called envy.
In most cases, the emotion described looks like an unshakable demand that the person attractive to the jealous person be his only. To understand this more precisely, two real-life examples can be given.
- When parents feel like they are spending more time on their younger brother or sister and spoiling them, older children begin to feel self-destructive.
- In an ordinary couple, when a work colleague calls a girl and has a long conversation, the young man may experience bouts of jealousy. It all depends on personality and self-control, but if a colleague turns out to be a man and mistakes are made in polite communication with him, then such an influx of emotions is inevitable.
An ideal relationship is a fragile and almost unattainable balance between absolute trust and confidence in your other half and moral readiness for developments. A wise spouse does not explain the reasons for the doubts of a loved one, but at the same time tries to show that the opposite sex is still paying attention to him (her). This will allow the relationship to set a certain tone and not merge into laziness or routine.
Who is inclined?
To understand how to get rid of jealousy, you must first identify the factors that contribute to its occurrence. It is the personal characteristics of each person that influence his ability to overcome destructive emotions.
- When a person is afraid of losing the object of his adoration. This fear arises due to strong emotional attachment.
- Excessive obsession arises from crossing personality boundaries. When one half begins to live in the other. A person throws his desires and thoughts into a corner and breathes life into his loved one. We should never forget that a relationship involves two separate people, not two people merged into one.
- Uncertainty, both in relationships and about yourself. Insecurity comes from low self-esteem and an inability to trust people.
- Too possessive behavior in a union of two equal people. Marriage or sympathy doesn”t matter. One person has no right to consider another his property.
There are two different manifestations of destructive emotions. The first is when a person experiences it, but does not control it and does not allow it to influence his thoughts and relationships. And the second is when the desire to completely give up actually makes the behavior unrecognizable. This could cause a scandal because the driver of the minibus (or pole) somehow saw half of them. To minimize the impact on his own thinking, his behavior and logic should be reconsidered.
No detective games
With ongoing mistrust, one of the couple begins to feel like Sherlock Holmes. Attempts are made to track the messenger, call lists are compiled (“Who called?”). The question begins to sound more and more often). Unfortunately, they start looking for the smell of someone else”s toilet water or hairs on their clothes, get names and do other “smart” things.
It”s good if the mistrust is limited only to the above-mentioned spy games. But when meetings with friends, communication with the opposite sex and other attempts to start relationships begin under the ban, this is the direct end of a break in relations.
Read also: How to deal with jealousy and get rid of feelings of mistrust
Many relationships from the outside look like the real norm. They love each other, show care and strive to please by any means. But it”s worth it to her.
What”s subconsciously destructive is that he seems to be doing something very beneficial for both partners, all for the sake of a happy relationship. Or he simply wants to reassure his partner of their sincerity (which eventually devolves into paranoia). But in reality, he personally has a hand in the union. I am very suspicious of his behavior.
Here we need to sit down and calmly think about what gives rise to such behavior. It not only strengthens the “sleuth” but also makes him more diligent in his search for elusive clues.
Fantasies and comparisons
If a man has a stunning coworker at work, this is an excuse for his girlfriend to abandon her beauty in the face of envious glances and sit at home, biting her elbow in a fit of jealousy (at least, it”s not his self-identified spouse). In fact, this isn”t a fantasy, which can be moderately resented. Particularly flamboyant women can even imagine non-existent sex scenes involving their loved one”s betrayal. Another option is unemployment. Men may conjure up images that aren”t the most pleasant—from a candlelit dinner in someone else”s apartment to a nightclub with a crowd of drunk and stoned suitors.
How to get rid of J? Stop taking such “fresh ideas” from your brain so seriously. Such packaging simply deprives the thinker of the ability to correctly interpret incoming data. To calmly assess the situation, you need to be able to think critically.
Surprisingly, it”s true. Many people reading these examples simply smile and think—how could anyone be so foolish that a simple delay could lead to infidelity? But in reality, having fallen in love with their partner, having crossed a line, they begin to become seriously worried and anxious.
This is a joke, not a joke, but merely a slightly embellished truth about a woman”s scandal for not having promoted herself within five seconds. Learn to delimit psychological space
When one partner is preoccupied with the other”s affairs, thoughts, and feelings, they demonstrate a complete lack of interest in themselves and their own lives. The problem disappears when the dependent partner (not the one bound by a boundless commitment to the other) develops their own hobbies, can”t live at the expense of the other, and understands that their partner isn”t obligated to devote their full attention to the union.
Learn to delimit psychological space
People should live their own lives outside of the relationship. Hobbies, meeting friends, communicating with parents or in-laws—whatever you like, but going through the cycle of love alone is impossible.
Jealousy. how to deal with mistrust in your partner
Youthful maximalism?
Trust
However, the best cure for negative emotions is mutual trust. Yes, in today”s reality, many consider this a temporary and wonderful thing, but it is so. Is your partner really leaving such a thing? Did this give you any reason to doubt? Most often, this is due to one’s own fear and uncertainty, which
Trust
Balance
The best decision is to trust your soul mate. At the same time, skillfully suppress enthusiastic thoughts about more enjoyable activities, such as music, reading or hobbies. And if you can build confidence in yourself as a better partner, then destructive feelings are sometimes much weaker. Eventually, irrational fears will disappear.
Balance
Some psychologists advise a different approach. Be prepared for forgiveness in case of disobedience, and not for a possible breakup. If a person is ready in advance to forgive and live with a casual partner, this will bring the much-desired peace of mind.
Regardless of the choice, the result will be the same — moral preparation in any situation reduces any experience to zero. In practice this is very difficult to achieve. A clear distinction must be made between the personalities of both spouses.
And lastly: if a person is in a good relationship, then there is no reason why even betrayal will not happen to him. Instead of guessing and coming up with a “clear chain of logic,” it is better to be creative and make original entertainment plans for the coming weekend.
How does jealousy destroy life and how to treat it? Torsunov O. G. Riga
Get rid of, feelings, jealousy, mistrust
