Polyamorous relationships: “legalized” monogamy, a guarantee of a happy union
In 2011, a romantic comedy called “Famous Weeks” was released. According to the plot, two wives offer their husbands complete sexual freedom without compromising the family. Of course, the film itself is very funny. However, it raises a rather important issue — the commitment of many couples to monogamy.
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Traditional views
In general, our culture favors monogamy. And in many couples, a violation of fidelity is tantamount to disaster. He cheated on me. It”s over, people think. However, there are other couples in which loyalty is more of an unpleasant restriction than a necessary one. Life seems gray and monotonous. And it all has to do with being faithful to your partner. But if that lifestyle seems boring and limiting for both partners, there is no reason to continue sticking with it. At least not what biology tells us.
Polyamorous relationships in the modern world
On the one hand, the fact that humans evolved from apes is well known. In ape society there is a large harem of alpha males. Biblical polygamy was common. The Mormon community officially practiced polygamy until 1890. Some cultures practiced polygamy, where multiple men had multiple men. Even Julius Caesar noted that polyandry was widespread in ancient Britain. And representatives of the Lucy tribe in Papua New Guinea still believe that for the healthy development of the fetus, a pregnant woman must have sexual contact with several men.
However, polygamy (or, as it is also called, “polyamorous relationships”) is of interest not only to representatives of African tribes. In many fairly civilized regions — for example, in Europe and America — there are clubs for swingers sex. Some of them are open to everyone. Elsewhere it may appeal to couples or single women.
Openness in relationships: it”s better than deception
Those who adhere to monogamy insist that monogamy will simply ruin their relationship. However, there are many couples in long-term relationships. And yet, they never stop loving them. No matter how reprehensible such relationships may be, they still offer more integrity than couples where one or both partners cheat on each other. Polygamy requires complete self-disclosure. Couples who adhere to the principles of polyamorous relationships are always interested in sexual harmony and mutual harmony (although, as experience shows, one spouse is always interested in this type of relationship).
Read also: Why polyamorous relationships? this type of relationship has both advantages and disadvantages. And the deeply suspicious nature of polyamory is simply contraindicated. So who needs it?
Interesting statistics
Polyamorous relationships are not a constant state of debauchery. For most couples, polygamy is a carefully planned departure from normal relationships. All details are discussed with the partner, and dating a lover cannot affect the couple”s relationship.
Open relationships and polyamorous people
How to decide?
A person who wants a polyamorous relationship should first discuss it with their regular partner. They may agree to polygamy. Or, perhaps, you need to try this format first before making a final decision. As a rule, if the other partner does not agree, after two or three dates, let them know: “No, it”s not necessary.”
Basic rules
Let”s assume that both partners are interested in polyamory. In this case, it is necessary to take into account some basic rules. First, you need to discuss all the issues that interest you. Don”t be led by adventure. Be as specific as possible in your communication and don”t turn polyamorous relationships into an ongoing orgy. You can also talk about acceptable and unacceptable types of sex. For example: “You can kiss a stranger or masturbate his penis. But do not engage in classic or oral sex.” It is equally important to discuss the details of the meeting and the possible presence of a second partner. Some monogamous couples agree to one of the dating options only if the other partner is in the same room and participates in the process. Others do not feel particularly comfortable in such situations and ask to wait, for example, in the kitchen.
When entering into a polyamorous relationship, you should weigh your preferences and possible risks. There is no guarantee that your partner will not suffer serious psychological and emotional trauma from seeing his lover having sex with a stranger. It is also important to remember that the purpose of monogamy is not to separate partners, but to make life more comfortable.
