Pros and cons of any long-term relationship
It”s very natural for couples to want a long-term relationship. There is nothing more wonderful and beautiful than loving a person all your life, supporting him for decades, sharing joys and hardships with him, and rejoicing together in solving a particular problem. However, not everything is as rosy as we would like.
Contents of the article:
- What”s bad about long-term relationships?
- Andrey, a survey participant, commented on this problem:
- Difficulty with trust
- Survey participant, Alexandra, shared her story concerning
- Inability to negotiate
- Here”s what another woman interviewed by name says about this
- Positive aspects of a long relationship
- Here”s what one of the survey participants says about this
- Words from Nikita, survey participant:
For those who are in a hurry to get into a relationship or are unsure of their partner, long-term relationships are fraught with danger. But they also have many benefits that can lead anxious people to positive decisions. A survey of Internet users aged 40 and older showed what really happens after a love leaves.
What”s bad about long-term relationships?
People recognize that many problems and difficult situations arise after emotions disappear. The rose-colored glasses come off, and the couple is faced with difficulties in their relationship that they didn”t even know existed at the moment they fell in love. Not everyone realizes that love can pass, and then you need to work on the relationship. According to the majority of study participants, they did not listen to the words that warned them and helped them navigate life.
Moreover, they are convinced that people will continue to believe that their situation is unique and that “we will definitely succeed” until the moment when they themselves collect all the most painful rake. However, it all depends on those who want to help, and whether they will be accepted or not is another question.
Therefore, according to the responses of the men and women surveyed, we can conclude that the main problem in relationships after the emotions have passed is family life. Young people have a lot to learn in order to have a long and happy relationship. Moreover, boys and girls often enter into relationships at a very early age, when they have no experience of living independently. And when they decide to separate from their parents, all hell breaks loose.
Handsome men walk around the house in shorts and T-shirts, are not shy about burping, and shower often, even if only once a week. It simply destroys the already established image. And the girl spends insane amounts of money on cosmetics and unnecessary little things, which is not approved by her partner.
Sharing shopping, cleaning, personal care, and dividing social roles is a daunting challenge for people who are not prepared for it. And in a long-term relationship, you will have to learn to cope with these difficulties. And if people are not ready for this and do not want to learn and find compromises, then it is too early for a serious relationship.
Andrey, a survey participant, commented on this problem:
When we first started dating, everything was great. Emotions were high and no one noticed the small household chores that needed to be done every day. But as soon as the feelings subsided, I suddenly realized that I hated cooking, cleaning and washing dishes. At that time I was studying at the institute, and I had a lot of free time.
And my partner studied and worked in the office at the same time, so there was no time for housework. I was convinced that sitting in front of the TV, washing cups or wiping the floor was not a man”s job. In the end, I lost the relationship simply because I couldn”t get past my “bucket list” for her.
Difficulty with trust
Another major challenge for people trying to build strong, long-term relationships is trusting their partner. After the feelings disappear, the mind begins to calmly assess the situation, and it may seem that the partner is doing something for himself, and not for the couple. In addition, there are some problems that a person is simply embarrassed to talk about. For example, certain diseases or certain psychological problems.
This also applies to sex. One of the partners wants to try something in bed, but may be embarrassed to say so. In the end, he will be afraid that they will not understand him and will ridicule him. Thus, the distrust of your partner will increase. This can only be solved by a joint discussion of everything that worries each of the pair of lovers. What kind of serious relationships can we talk about if people are afraid to delegate what is valuable and important to them?
Survey participant Alexandra shared her story regarding this issue:
My boyfriend and I, of course, were in a relationship. He met me, saw me off, took me to the cinema and cafe. We had sex and everything was great in that regard. But here he said nothing about his life. Not about his friends, not about where he spends his time. I understood that I should not impose myself, but he refused to share even harmless information.
He made all the decisions himself. Some actions and purchases have always been a surprise to me. And not always pleasant. He was in a relationship with me, but he still acted independently, didn”t trust me and kept me at a distance. I was in so much pain, I tried to talk to him, but I couldn’t reach him.
Read also: How to find a good girl for a long-term relationship?
In today”s world, the biggest problem is establishing a relationship with someone. However, it is not that difficult to find a way to determine if someone is worthy.
Inability to negotiate
And the most difficult thing people face in relationships is serious disagreements and an inability to compromise. During the period of falling in love, even the unpleasant personality traits of a partner seem to people to be something special, something that can be changed in the future. However, when the feelings go away, you can understand, for example, that a man does not really want children, although his wife always said that she wanted them.
And in such situations, there is a high probability that one of the couple will hesitate and resist compromise or compromise. And the inability to negotiate leads to the fact that people accumulate disappointment and have a reason to break off relations.
Here”s what another interviewed woman named Irina says about this:
Before meeting him, I didn’t know him. It seemed to me that I could see right through him. Passionate, honest, fair and a little wild, which makes him more attractive. But then it turned out that these qualities of his were just the tip of the iceberg, which created problems in our lives. His passion turned out to be a hidden tendency towards aggression — he constantly got into fights on the street and at work.
His “honesty” turned out to be arrogance — he saw everyone around him as stupid and vile animals, and himself as a pure and innocent hero. I tried to talk to him, convinced him that he shouldn’t be such a person, tried to somehow soften his temper, but he simply refused to get involved in such cases. I was ready to meet him on the road, but he did not know how to negotiate. I had to say goodbye to him.”
Positive aspects of a long relationship
Of course, the list of benefits of a long-term relationship is much easier to find. During the study, scientists tried to find unusual and interesting reasons for continuing a relationship. And they did not pay attention to classic answers like “it’s old age that gives you a glass of water” or “grandchildren look after their grandchildren.” Of course, most people say that the main advantage of such relationships is strong and friendly families, and it is very difficult to argue with them.
Family members, those who want to provide ongoing support and self-support, are great life goals and great motivators. Many people reach heights in life only because they want to create the best life for their family.
3 components of a happy relationship!
Here is what one of the survey participants, Vitaly, says about this:
We”ve been together for almost 30 years. I don”t know what I would do without my wife and children. It was she who did not allow me to merge with the general gray mass of the same person. My wife makes me a better person every year. I got a prestigious position and two degrees only because I wanted to bring home more money thanks to the support of my wife.
And the children we had more on her initiative taught me responsibility, self-sacrifice and the ability to share. With the help of my family, I have achieved heights that I could not have achieved on my own. If it weren’t for my wife, I would now be working for pennies at a factory, and spending my evenings hugging drunken buddies and bottles of vodka.”
Long-term relationships also allow people to find someone they can truly trust. Even if spouses don”t have much love for each other, they are likely to become great friends. They always have a topic for discussion, some common memories, traditions and holidays. Plus, they can be great colleagues.
Who better to entrust your business to than the person with whom you have lived for decades? There are many examples of people who continue to live in harmony and joy without experiencing feelings of love for each other, simply because people have become not only friends, but also lovers.
The trust aspect makes the heir theme very attractive. Many people who own their own businesses are raising children and are suitable heirs to the family business. Even if we are not talking about a rich inheritance, at least family traditions and a name can embrace and fill his life.
And there are very rare cases when children raised by caring and attentive parents took the reins of the Family Management Committee and coped well with this difficult task. Such children can only feel pride, and this emotion is available only to those who have survived all the difficulties and were able to build long-term relationships.
Words from Nikita, survey participant:
I have my own business, which I started more than 20 years ago. I had days when I found it very difficult to trust even my closest friends. And now I know that it is my relatives and parents who are worthy of passing on my heritage to them. Both spiritual and material.
I raised my son and handed over my business to him. And I am sure that I could not find such an employee and a worthy successor on the side. In the end, my son respects me and my decision, he understands the importance and value of this issue for our family. And he will behave very responsibly towards his inheritance.”
And, of course, what kind of strong relationship can there be without the fastest sex in the world? A long-term relationship is a real guarantee that both partners receive sufficient sexual satisfaction for themselves. If there is trust between spouses (and it inevitably will exist in a strong family), they can experiment sexually in huge quantities and fulfill all conceivable erotic fantasies that you can imagine.
Without a relationship, it is very difficult to find a partner who will agree to such things without concrete financial reward. And the spouse is always with his mate. He always tries to please her simply because he loves her.
We can sum it up and say that long-term relationships have more positive aspects. Although only the most notable ones are listed here, there are still many benefits. The only downside is that people lack the experience, knowledge, patience, skills or personality traits needed to overcome difficulties. However, a little later they will definitely find a mate and create a strong family. When they are wise.
