The Psychology of Relationships with a Large Age Gap
You”re very young and beautiful, he”s very impressive and experienced. He cares for you in a way his own father never did, or he”s more interesting than his silly friend. It doesn”t matter what brought you together—you”re not the only one. Another important consideration is whether there”s a future and what you can expect from a developing relationship with an older man.
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Finding a “sugar daddy” and getting married
Psychologists say, and parents and friends happily repeat: if a man is older, then a woman is definitely looking for a “sugar daddy.” Not true. More precisely, this is true, but not always, and without serious analysis, it”s just a superficial judgment. So, here”s what really motivates women to choose older men:
- Yes, I”m looking for a “daddy.” Sometimes. If their relationship with their own father is very bad or, conversely, very good. In any case, this isn”t the only reason. A relationship with a real father may have nothing to do with such couples.
- The ability to manipulate a husband with youth and beauty is a common fantasy of many young girls. Men with life experience know that neither beauty nor youth last forever. They are wise enough to make a girl feel like her game is working. Indeed, they will play along as long as it benefits them; such is the psychology of men in love.
In any case, ask yourself: “Why do I like older men?” Ask yourself this question. This is only necessary if such a choice brings problems and suffering. Otherwise, it makes no sense. For example, blondes are more attractive to brown-haired women, tall women are more attractive than short ones, and sometimes small bellies are more arousing than athletic abs. The answer to all these questions is “because.” More detailed answers can only be obtained with the help of a professional psychoanalyst, delving into childhood memories. It may turn out that your love for tall blondes with small bellies stems from your love for Santa Claus, who always brought you presents if you were a good girl all year round.
When Age Matters
To understand the pros and cons of dating older men, you need to look at each age gap separately.
Indeed, the gap between men aged 30 and 40 is very large, and the gap between men aged 30 and men under 50 is bottomless. Therefore, this connection may result in a different number of bonuses, and the amount you need to donate varies. An age difference of less than 10 years may not be noticeable at all. Such couples often have many common interests, and their lives and relationships are not much different from the lives and relationships of their peers. Therefore, any “irregularities” in relationships can be safely attributed to the individual characteristics of people and should never be associated with age differences. These are often very strong couples.
What age difference can be critical: 10, 20, and 30 years
However, a difference of 10 years is already noticeable, since such men are able to satisfy more of the needs of women. Indeed, it has long been known that women develop and mature faster than men. As a result, women are simply not interested in a couple, while men 10 years older are intriguing. Such a person is older not only physically, but also psychologically. He has a lot of life experience and can teach a lot to anyone he wants. A relationship with a man over 10 years old does not surprise anyone, but in the past it was usually considered a criterion for marriage. This is understandable. There is an age difference, but not very big. In such a situation it is very easy to find a common language and compromise. Once men reach the age of 20, the differences become so pronounced that the differences that arise in such unions are almost insurmountable. Indeed, overcoming sexual incompatibility is not easy (especially if the man is already approaching 60, and the chosen one is 40, at the peak of her sexual prime).
Read also: Relationships with a large age difference: what are their advantages? our life consists of constant interaction with other people. At work, on the street, in sports clubs. But maintaining relationships at a high level.
Things get much more complicated when the age difference reaches 20 years. However, this is likely due to the fact that such men are usually the same age as their parents. Do you have common interests with your parents? In addition, this is usually a person with a lot of life experience that he will want to share. Just like your beloved father or mother. But what about — young people need to be taught and educated so that they share their experience.
These age differences have other disadvantages. For example, such men often “train” young girls to “self-educate” and are ready to train her like a dog so that she is comfortable and obedient. A 30-year difference can turn into a real tragedy, and vice versa, and bring a lot of happiness to both partners. What determines the development of certain events. In most cases — from a woman. More precisely, from her understanding that in such relationships a lot has to be sacrificed.
Husband is 20 years older | relationships with a large age difference | 18+
First of all, you will have to sacrifice your youth. Did you know that for women who have been in a long-term relationship with a much older man, the “age clock” begins to tick faster? Fact. Men who are around young women become younger, and young women who are around much older men begin to age faster. In most cases, you will have to give up going out with friends. Why? Just because a person is 30 years older than the entire company, there will be nothing to talk about. Moreover, the older you are, the clearer your judgment will be. If the conversation turns to a sensitive topic where your friend plays the opposite role (and this happens with a high probability), a scandal is inevitable.
To explain what such a walk looks like from the outside, you can imagine the following: you made friends with a rude dog (no offense to the dog you chose). This dog barks at guests, bares its teeth, tries to grab someone”s leg and does nasty things under the table. Of course, your friend is simply “happy” from such visits and will call you to visit more often and ask you to bring your furry companion. In short, unless you stop these communal trips yourself, you will receive fewer and fewer party invitations from friends and associates. His friends won”t become your friends either. So, for example, what do a 50-year-old woman and a 20-year-old girl have in common? At first, they are already making a career, most of them are already adults or, at least, “masturbating” children, have stability in their family life and are beginning to prepare for the appearance of grandchildren. And the 20-year-old girl continues to study at the institute. She doesn”t even think about children. To be honest, “everything is complicated” in this relationship. At best, his friends will perceive you as a young fool. It is necessary to teach intelligence. These men often already have adult children, often the same age as you. Do you think you could be a good friend? Fly through the clouds with a pink unicorn. His children will perceive you as just another daddy”s toy — this is at best. In the worst case, even if they have been divorced for a long time, wait until they take the mother’s place and restore her rights.
You should forget about seductive sex with older men. Yes, he is more experienced and knows exactly how to please a woman. But the government is no longer what it was ten years ago. Of course, he tries to do his best, sometimes he even succeeds. But it takes a lot of wisdom and tact so that it does not become a constant reminder that the role of the hero-lover will soon become inaccessible to him.
A definite plus: what a relationship with an older man can offer
Bonus from dating a much older man:
- In most cases, such men are better than your peers. This is natural — he had time to pursue his education and career. A man your age is only at the beginning of his level.
- You are always younger and more attractive. However, this fact does not change the situation, and the greater the age difference, the more clearly this advantage manifests itself. When paired with a man your age, usually next to a companion of 10, 20 or 30 years old, the young man begins to shine like an expensive frame.
- He knows exactly how to care for a woman, how to please her, and not please her.
- Usually, if health and physical fitness allow such a man, he is a more skillful lover who thinks about his partner first.
- You can meet a man with a higher intellectual level, wisdom and life experience in all age categories, but older people have a higher chance.
- He”s definitely more interesting than your friend.
Marital happiness depends not only on the age difference, but discounting this factor is a big mistake. Expecting from a man the same agility and enthusiasm as from your peer your father, you can get very bad results: the man will fizzle out ahead of time or you will be seriously disappointed.
