“Victim syndrome” or who is to blame for the intoxication of relationships

Often attitudes towards people begin to deteriorate for unknown reasons. Vivid examples of this are betrayal, from all sides, ideals in relation to your partner. It’s simple: relationship addiction happens. Simply put: sweet addiction.

Contents of the article:

• Resentment as the main menu of relationships
• Tenth generation ascetic
• Another child in the house
  • How to stop being a victim in a relationship? What is victim syndrome?
• Justification for permissiveness
• Hiding emotions

Psychologists have identified some basic characteristics that indicate that betrayal is to blame for the victims and a bad attitude towards oneself. This is the purpose of the conversation.

Resentment as the main menu of relationships

The victims are simply fed with humiliation. They swallow them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They do this for understandable reasons. They read books on how to resolve conflicts, but cannot use the advice correctly. As a result, they simply swallow the insult, instead of making it clear to their partner that he is categorically wrong. Yes, of course, there is no need to rip his throat out. The permitted boundaries are clearly indicated. However, constantly being in the Doggy-Style position is also not ice. The partner simply gets used to it and perceives it as the norm. Why should he be nervous again? He, humiliated, let off steam and finished with the pie carefully prepared by the victim. His own rudeness causes disrespect for his partner. This is the law! So stop eating with shame.

Tenth generation ascetic

The victim often places his needs an order of magnitude lower than the demands of his partner. There are many examples of this attitude. The wife has a brand new iPhone, the husband has a Nokia 3310, the husband carries bread in the car, and the wife carries it from the garage. There are 33 pairs of shoes on the road, the beloved only has shoes, and only those who have completed school. It is again the victims” fault that such things happen again. At first, everyone looks out for each other. However, at some point one of the partners begins to abstain. Yes, he is afraid of seeming too demanding, too gloomy, too greedy. Both men and women suffer from “I can.” Men fall into the cross-dressing mold, women look like commercial bitches and don”t want to try to refute the claim that women need handbags. As a result, they cannot ask for snow in winter.

Another child in the house

Read also: Why a man doesn”t want a relationship or bachelor syndrome the answer to the question why a man does not want a relationship does not always lie solely in his selfish interests and consumerist view of the world. Often to.

In most cases, this is a problem of strong women or women with too strong maternal instincts. Distorted ideas about the ideal lover may also be to blame for this. How is this displayed? First of all, Hyperprotection. Of course, compassion is good. But there is no need to try to do everything for men without restrictions. Why is Borscht the week? He is an adult uncle, and if his wife suddenly does not leave him alone, he will not remain hungry.

How to stop being a victim in a relationship? What is victim syndrome? victims of domestic violence

Secondly, a violation of the Golden Rule — “don’t poke your nose into other people’s issues.” Yes, it”s stupid to sit in the dark and wait for your husband to screw in a light bulb. But it’s already too much piloting a repair crew or replacing a kitchen faucet. Everyone has their own responsibilities in the house. There is no need to raise your business. Thus, lowering the self-esteem of your spouse. This may work a few times and they will even admire you, saying that you are the coolest girl they have ever met. But then the husband inevitably puts his foot on the woman’s neck and doesn’t even know where the screwdriver is. Thirdly, lack of trust in the issue of human self-sufficiency. A striking example: women do not leave their children with their husbands for more than a few hours. And if it happens suddenly, monitor every 15 minutes. There is no need to leave clear instructions about what tights to wear to kindergarten or what tights to put on to feed the kids dinner. The person will figure everything out on his own. Yes, a child can part with pizza and look like a clown on the street, but this is not fatal! However, the spouse does not have an uncomfortable draft about his own importance.

Justification for permissiveness

The victim herself allows her partner to cross all boundaries. She constantly justifies her shortcomings, not harshly, but shows them correctly. He showed aggression — he provoked, threw socks around, did not wash the dishes — he was a man, he was not used to doing housework, he did not fulfill requests — he was busy and did not have time. And there is a whole bag of such excuses from each victim. But you just need to formulate your dissatisfaction, show your feelings and lead the person to the fact that he is not entirely right. Otherwise, your partner begins to perceive it as “you do what you want, I forgive everything and just stay by your side.” This attitude inevitably leads to disrespect and rebellion.

Hiding emotions

There is no need to hide your feelings. Everyone can be upset, angry, sad or just very tired. If you constantly pretend that everything is in order, protect your partner’s peace of mind, constantly shout positively and selflessly: “Everything is bullshit, let’s break through!” you will get an indifferent parasite who will shout: “What is going on in the soul of another person? What is happening in the souls of other people? Simply put, the egoist lies down. We talk about your emotions and show them to you. Then the partner tries to make his presence pleasant.It may seem strange that the listed signs form the image of an ideal partner. The question arises, is it really necessary to be a bitch or a marshmallow in order not to get into such stories? Of course not!!! Everything should be in moderation.