Why do men lie to you? What to do in such a situation?
Modern society is often built on deception. Often you can directly tell the boss that in this outfit she looks like a green toad. However, there are various deceptions and misconceptions. It’s one thing not to tell someone the whole “truth,” and quite another thing to be surrounded by lies every day. Why do men lie to women? Psychologists say that all problems come from barefoot childhood.
Contents of the article:
Fear of punishment
All children are afraid of being punished. However, with very strict parents, they develop phobias. First of all, this type of deception can be called “pseudo-learning”. Cheating occurs naturally in the presence of strong emotions. The boy lies to save himself. After all, in the case of a broken window, it has a weak point. It”s safer to say that the window was broken by a stone that came from nowhere. Such children become the husbands of some children. Therefore, as a rule, the spouse is also dominant (to match the parents). This means that the situation is repeated in accordance with the transmitted scenario. Instead of hiding beer bottles and cigarettes from your wife and meeting with unpleasant old friends, your wife confidently “sat in a meeting with her boss.” When a lie is discovered, such people may simply laugh at themselves or say that they “failed.” Don”t admit you”re wrong by claiming you didn”t say anything like that. He may throw a tantrum or, conversely, declare a boycott. In fact, he behaves like the same little child. The good thing about all this is that this type of lie is clearly recognizable. The main thing is that the adult understands what motivates him to do this and how he feels. And the answer is always the same — fear! If you want to teach such a husband a lesson, you will scare him even more. On the contrary, try to make him feel safe. Of all the liars, such men, thanks to their statements, are ready to seek help from a psychologist and treatment can be effective.
Benefit
First of all, such lies are consistent with the term “mythomania.” Such liars include marital cheaters, “trust thieves,” and beggars—that is, pseudo-cripples. The point is that a child learns to solve problems “with minimal effort.” As an adult, he doesn”t want to burden himself again. He creates his own mythology and develops an “attachment” to a stronger wife. His favorite victims are women with children and lonely elderly women.
Their main goal is to evoke sympathy and a desire to help. In wives, this works on a subconscious level—the “maternal instinct” is activated. For a long time, they believed they had “no income,” snatching their last crumbs from themselves. And when a secret stash is suddenly discovered, the situation worsens, and the woman is blamed. These are embezzlers who refuse to acknowledge his desire to “save for a rainy day.”
Read also: Reasons why men lie to their women there are many different reasons why a man lies to a woman. To understand what drives him to lie, you need to analyze.
If you want to teach such a mythomaniac a lesson, you can resort to the “mirror” or “imitation” technique. The idea is to do the same as him. He”ll retreat, become “absolutely sick,” be late for important meetings, “roll his eyes,” and insist that nothing of the sort was discussed. If the scale of his problem isn”t that great, and you”re a truly valuable woman, this will definitely work. However, a criminal myth is an “achievement,” and you”re food only for him. If he blocks his “access to blood” or begins to “suck blood” from you, don”t rule out the possibility that he”ll soon “fall” and run away. Be prepared for this, or be willing to tolerate his lies without paying attention—only you can figure out the solution.
Psychological reward
The child feels “less successful.” For example, very obese children, often laughed at in gym class, pretend to be virtuoso violinists or chess champions. Such boys often grow up in dysfunctional families, heavily influenced by their grandmothers. Decorated in this way, they strive to be the center of attention. But instead, they lose friends and respect. Unfortunately, instead of drawing the right conclusions, they become increasingly convinced of their “unrecognized genius.” Their axiom is: “Everyone around me is a fool except me.” This often leads them to become unemployed shadows, lecturing everyone because they are already husbands (at first, so bright and funny). Their main problem is low self-esteem, which they raise, or rather “inflate,” in such an absurd manner.
What to do if a man lies constantly? How to build a trusting relationship?
What to do?
Much depends on the seriousness of such a lie. In any case, restoring the value system is based on. Don”t say: “You”re lying about buying this wardrobe.” It was a gift from my parents.” Instead, say, “You”re great, he integrated this cabinet into the interior very well/brought it himself, but my parents still bought it.”
White, white, and black, while clearly pointing out the positive things he”s done, you can try to bring your husband back to objective reality. Of course, this takes a long time to get going.
The so-called “Munchausen symptom”
Many experts consider the most difficult variant, if not a disease, then at least a borderline condition. Such liars are similar to drug addicts or alcoholics. This condition arises from very severe psychological trauma. Typically, this is a problem in the relationship with the mother. She blames her son for the divorce or rejection. She claims that everything is wrong with her. Often, the mother is a real alcoholic or has a psychiatric diagnosis. She may simply “dump” her son”s grandfather on her son. Another possible situation is the birth of a younger, disabled brother or sister, when everything Attention and money are spent on the latter”s recovery. The needs of an ordinary child are not only unmet, but also widely suppressed. If the younger child needs to be taken to the next consultation, a certain amount of openness is required. In short, you must create your own safe world, because in the child”s real life, everything is very bad.
American scientists have proven that the brain of such a liar is physiologically different from the brain of a normal person. As a result of these changes, he feels neither remorse nor remorse. Therefore, such a man lies about the most intimate things: about a deceased child, about a sick wife. What advice would you give your wife in this case? Unfortunately, only one: do it! And remember, such people don”t let go easily.
Men”s lies. what to do if a man is lying?
