Why do they love some people and marry others?
Who is the woman she wants to marry? Why not just have feelings sometimes?
A man must be ready
We tend to think that men get married when they meet the “love of their life” — is this really true? But what to do if the woman is not the point, and the man is ready to settle down?
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One Twitter user decided to test this theory and asked men to comment on it. What is the ending? Most male users who responded to this message agreed that this was true. Yes, they had a brilliant romance, but the breakup caused them pain and devastation. However, they decided to get married only when they themselves were ready for it.
Another interesting theory is that men may hastily decide to marry a woman they have long wanted to be with soon after she gets married. In this case, the man realizes that he has nothing left to catch, begins to feel lonely and therefore agrees to marry a woman who is less suitable for this.
In short, the point here is not in the woman herself, but in the right moment. Scientists also say that the best age to start a family is from 28 to 32 years. After this time, the likelihood that a man will want to get married decreases. And after 42 years, this chance is practically zero.
That”s what scientists say. However, there are always exceptions.
A woman shouldn”t be ashamed
Men love with their eyes — we already know that. Scientific research also shows that couples in which the woman is more attractive than the man are the happiest. But as John T. Mora (author of Why Men Marry Women and Not Other Women) said, a woman”s appearance should not be vulgar. Interesting!
Swallow also conducted an experiment — he asked 3, 500 men to describe the girl they would soon marry. Only 20% of grooms, when describing their girlfriend, focused on her beauty or sexuality. The majority (80%) began to positively imagine the positive character traits of their future spouse.
It is important for men that their future spouse looks attractive and presentable. However, the majority of respondents who took part in the Moriah experiment admitted that the main thing is that women do not have to blush in public.
The opinions of friends and family matter
The situation is different. And men are different. One man doesn’t care at all how his parent’s relative treats his woman. If parents or friends make negative statements about her, he lets them know that he is embarrassed for her. If this continues, he will simply stop communicating with these people, but will act as he sees fit.
There are purposeful people who are completely dependent on the opinions of others. Doesn”t the girl look like a girlfriend or girlfriend? There might be something wrong with her! From the outside it”s better! I will stay away from her and sin and that is the end.
But even if a person is generally sane, even if he thinks for himself, he will somehow want his lover to become friends with his friends and family. This is an absolutely natural and healthy desire. After all, when your friends and parents criticized the person you love, it was painful and humiliating for you.
This is why the attitude of his friends and parents plays such an important role, especially in the early stages of a relationship. The opinion of your man”s friends may even strengthen his feelings for you, and his parents” approval should be a deciding factor in marriage proposals.
When communicating with your male lover, you should not try to play the role of someone you are not. Even if the “arbiter” in the person of friends or parents does not notice your pretense, your man will feel it. Be natural and genuinely friendly, but at the same time know your worth and don”t let anyone put you down.
The man thinks everything suits you
A woman pretends that she does not dream of marriage at all, and never shows that she wants to be in the position of a legal wife. The person thinks that everything is fine and does not take decisive action. Classic!
Men can”t read between the lines. And when a woman loses patience without waiting for an offer, leaves and slams the door, the man begins to analyze the situation. “Hmm, I need to be more decisive,” he will think. Having met another woman, he may be quicker and offer her the coveted ring before her patience is completely overflowing.
Psychologists believe that partners who are afraid to once again express their opinion, so as not to inflame a conflict, have no future. And women who prefer to remain silent about their desires will not receive an engagement ring. Why try for someone who doesn’t ask for anything and is content with little?
Living together
Living together before marriage is a good test of family compatibility. But psychologists warn: if you want to marry this person, do not rush to leave with him. The longer you live at the same time, the less likely it is that you will move from the status of a cohabitant to the status of an official wife.
Read also: There is no third option: can a guy love one and date another?
First of all, this question may seem strange. Ultimately, this happens because it contradicts our ideas about love. But did they ask?
Statistics show that most men propose within 22 months of starting a relationship. After this period, the likelihood that a man will decide to take a serious step decreases by 20%. After three years the probability is already 50%, and after seven years it is almost 0%.
How did this happen? This is where the difference in perception lies — women believe that living together is the first step towards marriage. Men move in with a girl as if they forgot about the need to register the relationship. What”s the point? You are almost like family now. Why the extra trouble?
He doesn”t see a future with you
This sounds very insulting, but it”s not just because he won”t see you in his future. At the moment you come to him for it, but that”s all.
Men can delay marriage. Because first he wants to achieve certain things — a promotion, his own apartment or house, etc. He doesn”t want to be alone at this time in his life, so he looks for something that can offer him support. Now. As long as he carries out his plan.
A comfortable woman is good for certain purposes, but she may not be good enough for the life he wants to live in the future. A comfortable woman does not set difficult tasks for him and does not force him to live in tension, which comfortably pushes him. A successful man wants to be in shape. For this, he needs a wife, next to whom he can conquer more and more heights.
Not all romances have to end in marriage
From an early age, girls are taught that any boy they”re attracted to could be “the one and only.” And all those jokes about “boyfriends”? Girls hear them throughout their lives, starting in kindergarten. The older a girl gets, the more alarming and serious their relatives” playful remarks become.
Because of this marriage propaganda, girls grow up believing that long-term relationships should end in marriage. Men don”t see it that way, so we”re once again faced with misunderstandings between the sexes.
Of course, both men and women can regret time wasted on unsuccessful dates or less-than-satisfactory relationships. Both men and women can suffer from loneliness, yearn for the first time, and cling to unsuitable partners.
However, when men are truly confident in their choice and want to get the woman they desire, they sound the alarm, expecting nothing. And the concept of a “convincing bachelor” isn”t entirely applicable to life—George Clooney confirms this.
Why do people love some women and marry others? An astropsychologist”s answer
Male opinion
A Reddit user once asked a married man to tell him the moment he realized he was ready to marry his girlfriend. Here”s what came out of it:
- At the time, we”d been together for several years and were vacationing together. People kept asking us if we were on our honeymoon. I said no. “What, have you been married long?” We asked back.
It hadn”t occurred to either of us that we might be single. And then we wondered—could this be a sign that it was time for us to get married?
- She was hanging out at a bar, and when she was about to go home, a stranger agreed and offered to give her a lift. And this despite the fact that I live nearby and took her home in a taxi!
I was furious and yelled at her. She asked why I was so upset, so I stamped my foot and shouted that I loved her. That”s when I realized I”d finally found someone whose happiness was more important to me than my own. Now we”re married. I don”t know how I”d live without this woman who doesn”t like dangerous adventures.
- When I first told my dad I was dating someone, he immediately launched into his signature jokes: “What”s your name? Who works for you? What size bra does she wear?”
I told my girlfriend about this and got ready to meet the funny dad. She thought it was funny. When the day came to meet her parents, I brought her home. She extended her hand to her father, introduced herself and immediately added that she was a size two.
My father was shocked, my mother laughed hysterically, and I fell in love.”
- We were traveling through South Asia, staying at a hotel, and she got food poisoning. She didn”t leave the bathroom for the whole day. Of course, I took on the role of her doctor and nurse. He brought her water and soup from a local restaurant, looked after her and carried out buckets.
When she fell asleep exhausted, I suddenly realized that I was looking at her and did not feel disgust. I don”t care. I would do anything for her. And I want to marry her.”
- I got angry at her for some nonsense and started yelling at her. Before her, I had a toxic relationship, and I thought that people only act like that when they meet — they scream and swear. I thought she would yell back at me, but she calmly looked into my eyes for a few minutes and then asked if I was done.
She then calmly explained to me that when people love each other, they will not allow this to happen. They may disagree with each other, but they do so without vows. If we are together, don’t do this again,” she said.
And now we’ve been married for 20 years.”
- “Our first date lasted 12 hours. Our first date lasted 12 hours because we never got to talk. The second date was supposed to just be dinner together, but it ended up lasting almost two days. When she left home, I suddenly realized that I couldn”t imagine my life without her.
What a blessing that she felt the same way.”
- My son called her “Mom”.
- She was working at her job and helped me find the keys. I was accidentally thrown into a landfill. It took two hours.
- Everything worked out so well that I told myself that if everything was the same in a year, then in the summer I would propose to her. Then my mother had a stroke.
She was sitting in the waiting room next to the intensive care unit. It was my girlfriend”s birthday and she didn”t think twice about taking the day off to be with me and my family.
My father was not himself, so all the problems had to be solved by me, my brother and sister. When it was time to go home, my girlfriend went with me. While I drank bourbon, she cooked dinner for me. And I sat quietly while she cried quietly.
