The secret to a happy sexual relationship is persistence and patience.
A social psychologist at the University of Toronto, the secret to sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships lies in the initial belief that it takes a lot of patient trying, rather than the belief that you are 100% suitable for your significant other.
These beliefs—whether they should work hard to develop sexually, whether they should develop sexually stubbornly, or whether you should meet your (sexual) “destiny”—are such powerful tools that they can sustain your relationship over time or undermine it completely.
Jessica Maxwell, PhD, argues that “people who believe in “fate” then use their sex lives as an indicator — they believe that problems in the bedroom reflect the overall health of their relationship.”
She explained: “At the same time, people who believe that sexual relationships need to “grow up” not only do not work on them, but also do not affect their connection with their partner.”
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“Non-trivial beliefs” about various aspects of relationships have been studied before, but this is the first study to examine them in a sexual context.
Jessica says that the “honeymoon phase,” which typically lasts two to three years in a relationship, is a period when there are equal numbers of supporters of both points of view. However, the benefits of believing in “sexual growth and development” become clear.
The study authors explained that “belief in one”s ability to fulfill one”s sexual “destiny” has much in common with other dysfunctional beliefs about sexuality, and I think it is important to be able to recognize such phenomena.”
