How to overcome sex fantasies about another person — an effective method
And you are lying like this (or like this) in bed, completely alive and breathing with your partner or next to your partner, and the problem has already moved to that very time. And for some reason, Pamela Anderson has become firmly established in your head. Or George Clooney. Or your sexy boss from work. Or something else that has nothing to do with your partner. Why does this happen and what to do about it? Read below.
Contents of the article:
Psychology of fantasy
Listen and get straight to the point.
When you enter into a relationship, even if it seems to you that you are completely monogamous and that this is a serious crime against the trust of the person you love (and usually people jump about someone”s sexual fantasies and are monogamous) — it does not mean, it does not mean, yes) — it means, yes (and does not mean that yes) your eyes and parts of your brain are sharp and dry and are responsible for your perception of other people”s sexuality.
This means that even when you are in a relationship with someone you truly love and desire, you can be completely forgetful. The supposed bosses at your job may get carried away by the sexy smoking up your sleeve and the unintentionally attractive hair on your face.
Or is the actor in the new series simply adorable, and his ass is like the only thing left of the girl that you want? Or. Heck, even images from children”s cartoons can be sexy! Just think of The Lion King”s scar and tell me it”s not sexy.
Add to this the following factor: human culture today is sexually saturated from top to bottom. Everyone can be sexy. Including these children”s cartoon images, not to mention the movies, which are also full of sexual images.
Of course, you can feel sexually attracted to someone because there are so many stimuli for your brain to recognize it, register it, and especially trigger that attraction. And that”s completely normal and doesn”t say anything about your relationship with you or your partner — you just have eyes and a brain, that”s all.
Second factor: sexual fantasies may generally have nothing to do with sex. Yes, oddly enough, this is true.
For example, you may not have enough endorphins to associate sex with pleasure in your head.
Or you consider yourself sexual, and the person you fantasize about evokes power and strength, while you lack these qualities in yourself or your partner.
Or you fantasize, for example, about the heroes and heroines of adventure films, about passionately making love only to escape a gang of thieves.
In other words, your sexual fantasies may not indicate a passionate desire for this particular man or woman, but rather a lack of principle, and sex has nothing to do with it.
The third factor is more prosaic. Sometimes, the presence of sexual fantasies indicates certain problems in a couple. For example, from a mundane perspective: differences in temperament, when you need more than your partner, insufficient sex in real life, and the brain receives sexual energy that is not supplied from other sources.
However, this is not at all necessary. As already mentioned, sexual fantasies are often merely the brain”s interpretation of sexual stimuli from the environment. Problems with Sexual Fantasies About Another Person
Problems with sex fantasies about another person
Read also:
6 Reasons Why You Don”t Want Sex with Your Guy Even When You”re Deeply in Love “I don”t want my man” — despite some women”s beliefs that their case is unique, this phrase is often heard in psychologists” offices. Many women
“damn, he really got on his nerves, he”d kill him!” No one can judge you for what you think. We”re talking about your boss, who was annoying you, right? So there”s no direct problem with sexual fantasies; you can relax and enjoy them.
However, the problem can be indirect. For example:
Your experiences.
- The fact that you fantasize about other people means that you”re unconsciously trying to deceive your current partner. For this reason, you may start looking for problems in the relationship (after all, there must be something wrong if you want to change, right?). And you will find it! You”ll get caught up in it, which can ultimately lead to arguments and even a breakup, especially if you”re being ignored.
Furthermore, communication, including sexual communication, can be negatively impacted by feelings of guilt or embarrassment in front of your partner, acting reserved, not understanding what happened, and, naturally, worrying.
Your partner may become jealous if they find out about it.
- Not everyone is willing to accept that being in a relationship does not mean that the human brain has suddenly stopped processing information about another person”s sexuality, and partners may perceive having fantasies about the other as a betrayal. Struggle. For example, many people feel uncomfortable when their partner watches pornography.
Sexual fantasies: how to talk to your partner about sexual desires
Concerns about your sexuality.
- Meaning: Sexual fantasies can sometimes be bizarre. People can be aroused by things that they would not find attractive in a normal, non-aroused state. For example, a heterosexual woman may masturbate to lesbian pornography (or a man to gay pornography), or be aroused by fantasies of rape or threesomes.
This may result in shock. In other words, does this excite me?! Am I one of them? And it can have a negative impact on your sex life while you”re brooding and worrying.
However, sexual fantasies can benefit you. Here”s how it works.
What to do about it
What to do about it
- As stated before, sexual fantasies are normal. Therefore, you can relax and have fun, masturbate if necessary and enjoy pleasant erotic dreams.
If sexual fantasies still cause discomfort, try to analyze. Why are you fantasizing about this? Why this particular person, this particular plot of erotic fantasy? What attracts you to this person that your current partner lacks?
It can be anything — you can be a good partner, a good friend, a good comrade, a good friend, a good comrade, a good comrade. For example, you fantasize about hard and rough sex, but your partner is gentler and softer, and you miss his roughness. Or, on the contrary, you fantasize about very sensual, tender and romantic sex — perhaps you lack tenderness and attention from your partner, your sex life is boring and tasteless, and there is no love and affection for each other.
These are the simplest examples, but in practice everything can be much more subtle. Essentially, the point is this. Think about what turns you on in your fantasy and why, what is missing in your life and how you can fill it.
It may be better to tell them that the text is not direct: “I fantasize about other people.” Tell a fantasy story: Imagine, I imagined that you and I are two super wings, disappearing from bandits, and you love me with your tongue on a magnificent piano. Perhaps your erotic fantasies can be realized, and it will be beneficial and enjoyable without compromising your relationship.
You can also talk about fantasies you have about other people, which can be very exciting. This is a turn-on for many men and women, but it”s best to gently ask how your partner feels about it first. Perhaps you both will discover a new sexual fetish and sexual practice.
Redirect this sexual energy towards your partner.
- Of course, we can say that this is not entirely beautiful. Think about falling in love with one person, someone else. But on the other hand, you fix sexual pleasures in your brain and in the relationship exactly as your partner does, not your imagination, and they disappear on their own, giving way to a more vivid, sensual reality.
Erotic fantasies: are thoughts about sex material?
