I don’t feel excited, although I love a man — what should I do?
Just because you no longer desire your man doesn”t mean you”ve stopped loving him. For women, these two areas can be completely different. And this is not necessarily a sign of health problems. Are you just tired or don”t know how to listen to your body?
Contents of the article:
Why do women lose arousal?
You get enough sleep, put off household chores, the weekend is approaching, and it would seem that nothing is stopping you from devoting time and attention to your intimate life, but there is no desire to have sex. Or he”s been giving you your favorite erotic massage for an hour now, but you”re still not as excited as before.
The reasons for decreased libido can be very different.
- Psychological trauma. This reason is usually due to the fact that you have never experienced strong sexual arousal or suddenly do not want a partner, although everything was fine before.
This may include painful or unpleasant deflowering, rape and attempted rape, and even resentment of the man. For example, let”s say he suddenly admits that you”ve gained weight, which makes him less aroused. The psychological response will occur immediately.
- Fear. You may be afraid to have sex after your mother warned you not to, or after a recent difficult pregnancy and childbirth that you definitely don”t want to happen again in the near future.
- Health problems. It starts with endocrine disorders and hormonal problems and ends with sexually transmitted diseases. Even food poisoning can significantly reduce libido.
- Depression and/or chronic fatigue syndrome. These problems can lead to a loss of desire to live, as well as to have sex.
- Bad habits. Brain impulses that cause sexual arousal can be suppressed by both nicotine and alcohol or drugs. In the future, you will want to smoke another cigarette rather than have sex with your partner.
- Lack of orgasm. Vivid pleasure is one of the main motivations for having sex. If for you this is an “empty” process, organized solely to pay off “marital debt,” then you are unlikely to have a strong desire to repeat it.
If you notice that you haven’t felt nervous around your loved one for a long time, try to analyze why. Honest self-talk will help you.
Think back to a time when there was excitement. What was special about those times, how you felt and how your man behaved. Observe yourself for a few days and correct the situation that is causing you agitation. This will help you develop pleasant thoughts about sex.
Read also: I love a man, but I don’t want to give him a blowjob — what should I do?
Do you follow your partner and step on his throat? Are you trying to find a man who shares your views on breaking up? Or delve into.
Such a reliable analysis can help identify the true causes of low libido. After this, you can make a plan on how to treat them correctly and effectively.
What should I do if I don”t feel aroused with my man?
First of all, it is necessary to accurately determine the causes of low libido and lack of arousal. Getting enough sleep and freeing yourself from the burden of responsibilities and problems, at least for a while, may be enough.
I don”t want my man! Reasons and what to do about it? Psychotherapy
For example, set rules. After 8 pm, relax, put away your phone and do what you enjoy and enjoy. Even such mundane activities can help quickly restore sexual arousal.
If there are additional symptoms, for example, decreased libido may be accompanied by weakness, lack of sleep or freezing. It is better to visit a doctor and undergo all the tests that he prescribes. There may be a hormonal deficiency or thyroid disease. Or there is not enough iron and other important substance magnesium in the body.
It can also help return the desire to:
- Proper nutrition. Add healthy animal or vegetable fats to your diet. For example, butter/vegetable oil, nuts. The same goes for greens, fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Proper sleep schedule. Make sure you get enough sleep, but not in the middle of the night. The sleep hormone melatonin also affects libido.
- Physical activity. You don”t have to start lifting weights at the gym. But at least regular morning exercises, stretching and walking can help you regain vitality, activity and sexual desire.
- Explore your own body. First, you need to understand where and how you have fun. Then, and only then, give your partner recommendations. It is a big mistake to think that sex is exclusively about male pleasure. You can “pump up” this area of life at any age, even if you have never had an orgasm. Vibrant orgasms bring back the desire for sex. Eventually, you”ll want to test them over and over again. To develop sexual sensitivity, it is important to accept the body and pay attention to it.
The main thing is not to tolerate sex without arousal, but to be afraid to tell your partner about its absence. Intimate contact brings pleasure and pleasant sensations, not pain or disappointment. And comprehensive work on yourself can help you achieve this result.
How to increase female arousal?
In the meantime, since you have not yet fully understood the causes of low libido and are looking for effective ways to increase it, you can use the following techniques:
- Start with pelvic floor exercises and Kegels. They not only increase arousal, but also contribute to quick orgasm.
- Instead of tea, brew vegetarian foods made with poppy roots, ashwagandha and Rhodiola crimson. It”s best to shoot in the morning.
- It is important to supplement with zinc, vitamins C and D. It is important to choose the highest quality and safest products from reputable manufacturers.
- Add liver, bananas, eggs, avocados, chocolate, seafood, onions, cinnamon, ginger and cardamom to your menu.
Don”t blame yourself for not feeling delighted in your relationship with your loved one. It”s better to spend time and attention on your body.
Look for what happened — physically and psychologically. Start working gradually and comprehensively. Then positive results will not keep you waiting.
