My husband goes to strip clubs — is this normal?
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How did it all start? Maybe from your wedding, when your chosen one decided that it would be a big surprise for her boyfriend to go to a strip club? Or maybe he saw such an establishment, but you tolerated it and thought that he would change when you got married? In any case, if something is bothering you in your relationship, you should not turn a blind eye to the problem. It”s time to turn to her.
Contents of the article:
Why do men go to strip clubs?
Pop culture has created a specific image of a person who enjoys adult entertainment. During the day he is a successful businessman with strict principles, and in the evening he is a hot macho man who never misses an opportunity to demonstrate his masculinity. In contrast, striptease is shown as sexy, sly beauty. The sexy underground beauty is not averse to taking possession of not only his wallet, but also his cold heart. How are things really going?
Strip clubs are not brothels, and the owners of the establishments carefully ensure that the relationship between the dancer and the client does not cross the line of what is permitted. The girls receive money as well as grand exposure. Their job is to keep the conversation going, flirt and make the man feel exclusive. Most men come here with their friends, drink, smoke water gisel and chat. They prefer that they can do “traditionally male activities” without reproach.
Many men suffer from the fact that their relationships with women have become less transparent, more and more confusing and tense. They lack ease. They are tired of having to follow and play by other people”s rules and social norms. These men are not looking for sex, they need attention and interest to stay young and attractive.
Suzanne Breslin, an American journalist and writer, created a blog called “Letters from Men Who Go to Strip Clubs.” There she informed the public about what was happening in the souls of the regulars of such establishments. She collected the material she received to highlight the reasons why campaigning in strip clubs is one of the most favorite ways to spend leisure time.
One of the reasons is the need for company, the desire to feel needed. Blog subscribers, who wished to remain anonymous, said they simply needed communication. “Who else can I talk to? There”s nothing frank in business meetings. My wife is friends with their wives, so exchanging friends is dangerous. Therapist? I was taught to go through difficulties on my own, and not end up in tatters.”
Read also: Why would a woman walk around half naked in front of her husband”s friends?
In 2017, mass protests against female nudity took place in the United States. Women took to the streets topless, saying they were tired of stupid laws that prohibited them.
Another fan of the blog shared his fear of old age and loneliness. I”m 61. I like to think of strip clubs as a way to connect with all the beautiful women in the world. Here I can dance with young beauties and ask them to smile at me at any time. They help me feel young again.”
In an interview with The Telegraph, Breslin said the most common motives are the need for solitude and intimacy. Katherine Frank, a sociology professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, came to a similar conclusion.
She interviewed 30 heterosexual men aged 28 to 57 years. Frank”s research showed that strip club patrons were not looking for release of sexual energy, but rather a comfortable and safe atmosphere. They like to communicate with free and attractive women without physical contact.
For some men, communicating with beautiful women is already considered a luxury. For dancers, social status, visual appeal and age do not matter. In strip clubs, they do not have to worry about being rudely rejected, as long as they do not violate the permitted restrictions. Despite the fact that they are in company, many men judge the dancers, but personally perceive them as equals and behave naturally.
What to do if your boyfriend goes to striptease? question from a subscriber
Types of men who visit strip clubs
If they become hysterical when they find out that their partner visits strip clubs, emotions take over. Men are more logical creatures. Their desire to date or communicate with another woman does not indicate disappointment in their life partner. However, fans of striptease can be divided into several categories.
- Chatterboxes. They just want to talk about their lives, share their successes and failures, but are afraid to bother their wives, and therefore pay other women for “psychotherapy sessions”;
Why does this bother you and what to do about it
Don”t create problems where there are none. Don”t think that everyone dreams of being with a half-naked beauty and will definitely fall into the “sin” category.
Esquire magazine conducted a survey of 1, 000 men. When asked how often they wanted to visit strip clubs, 68% of respondents said they did not want to, and only 7% said they would go as soon as possible. The rest refused to answer.
It”s all about how much you trust your man, because you never know what really happened behind the door of a private room. The sex industry will never be empty. There”s nothing wrong with wanting to see beautiful young women as long as it doesn”t lead to cheating, but this behavior is normal in some marriages. The most important thing you need to do is understand what you expect from your relationship and whether your partner lives up to those expectations.
