BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism
For the average Russian, this abbreviation, as a rule, evokes either a smile from a high school student in the world of his fantasies, or outright rejection. And it”s hard to say which is worse. According to sexologists, this reaction is explained by the fact that this topic and all its components (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism) are still stigmatized in our country.
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And even thematic sites cover BDSM as gently as possible, at best talking about everything superficially, and at worst speaking in the language of incomprehensible euphemisms, leaving the reader with guesses and assumptions. Today we will figure out what is and is not suitable for the concept of BDSM, and we will back up each judgment with the author’s personal experience. Read on to learn more about how to decipher BDSM and what each concept means.
Binding
If the idea of being tied up seems strange, but you are willing to try it, it is recommended to start with something relatively harmless, such as handcuffs or ropes, which serve a purely aesthetic function without restricting movement. There is nothing unusual about this. Contrary to popular belief, the pleasures derived from slavery are understandable. First, in every relationship there are leaders and followers. As a rule, the leader is a man. He makes important decisions and is responsible for their consequences. Then an unexpected change of roles in bed can add the necessary spice to the relationship, since the woman turns out to be the leader and keeps her other half in suspense. It”s also a great opportunity to simply hand over the reins to someone else for a while without making any decisions or worrying about the immediate future. (This can also be an option when someone who is dominant in everyday life wants more power in their bed.) Secondly, many of my friends note the tactile pleasure they get from the rope. Please note that these ropes are not purchased from hardware stores and should not be pulled too tight. There may be some pain associated with the fixed position, but numbness and pain are not good signs. Following simple rules can make it more enjoyable for both the attached and the binder. Naturally, you should start with the simplest poses and knots and gradually move on to more complex ones. Our articles will help you better master the art of dressing a kimono.
Discipline
Who among us has not at least once seen plot porn in the role of teacher/student or boss/subordinate in a role-playing game? What attracts us to these advertisements is our dependence on others. Indeed, each of the boys experienced a completely childlike affection for the young teacher. The young teacher remained somewhere in their hearts, and over time, the desire to possess this teacher appeared. or follow her. Hidden under the second letter of the acronym, BDSM is role-playing game associated with submission and dependence. Perhaps a few examples from personal experience, because how it all looks depends only on the breadth of imagination of two (or more) people. For more information and details of BDSM trannies, see the article at the link.
Read also: Let”s talk about BDSM as a form of art of tying up girls for less knowledgeable people, the question of tying up girls to satisfy their intimate needs can cause shock and bewilderment. As a rule, they are.
I had a friend with a fairly classic fantasy on the theme of “strict teachers and good/bad students.” The latter depends on your mood. Thus, the good student was encouraged (at the same time discipline was expressed, she had to ask for everything she wanted), the bad student was punished for bad grades and behavior. With another partner, you can spend a day or two immersed in role play. A secretary accompanying her boss on a business trip? Then they go to a hotel, rent a room, chat in the bar on the ground floor and spend the whole night together, buttoning up white shirts. At the same time, very different slang can be used, the situation is constantly changing, and I found myself in a dependent position several times. But more about this below.
Sadism
Without trivializing the previous two topics, sadism and masochism are most stigmatized if you believe that some things should be kept behind closed doors in the bedroom. The reason for this? Many people believe (wrongly, of course) that pleasure in inflicting pain on someone is abnormal. They then compare sadism to animal life in the same way that homosexuality is compared to bestiality. Should we focus on the fact that both analogies are wrong? Sure, some people can pick up a belt and beat their partner black and blue. But what if some taxi drivers are maniacs, some teachers are psychos, and now you don”t trust anyone?
Sadism: types, causes, signs | BDSM: perversion or norm | how to recognize a sadist in sex
The main thing is not to cross the line. And there should be a safe word here. Of course, everyone knows what it is, but to be safe, mention some nuances. If the person in the passive is experiencing discomfort or severe pain and does not want to continue, a safe word is used. Such phrases should not be the usual “no” or “stop”, as they are usually part of the game. However, you shouldn’t choose something completely ridiculous like SpongeBob (yes, I remember that sentence) — the whole mood will be ruined. It”s better to mention something neutral, like “strawberry.” Now, if this word becomes permanent. However, in some games this may change, such as when sweets or fruits are used mid-game. The ability to dominate others, even for an hour, can give you confidence and add variety to your sex life. Calm and balanced people may need to release their energy in this way.
Masochism
If the desire to dominate a partner is so clear to an outside observer, then why is pleasure derived from pain? This is somewhat of a philosophical question. We are born into this world with pain, and often the first sexual contact causes pain. To some extent, this may even be associated with self-harm, and physical pain can drown out mental pain. at least for a while.
On the other hand, it is a demonstration of incredible trust and self-sacrifice towards your partner. What does it feel like to do whatever the other person wants to you? In non-BDSM relationships, it is not uncommon for people to fool around and spank each other. However, this principle can be applied to any fantasy or sexual activity as long as it is based on mutual consent. The author of this article had such an experience, and since then it has left a very pleasant impression on him. This is an opportunity to experience the aforementioned responsibility to oneself, just a new and exciting experience. In most cases, these are light slaps in the face, suffocation as soon as blood appears, but with general consent. There are usually many variations. I can quickly recall flirting with dripping wax, hot chocolate and hard bites. For those for whom such sensations are not the only entertainment, sex shops can offer whips, clamps, collars and chains. Latex suits also fall into this category.
Conclusion
For some, the reason for BDSM is a rare game to spice up the relationship. For some, it”s a real way of life, with dad and princess living together seven days a week. Whatever type you are, we hope this article opens up something new for you.
