Where does passion go in marriage or how to regain former pleasure
Everyone knows that sexual desire decreases over the years. But this cannot explain what happens to very young married couples. They are married and live together, but for some reason sex is becoming less and less frequent. Contrary to the stereotype that men cannot live without sex, it is mainly about the absence of women. Why do landmarks disappear and can they somehow change? Let’s understand this!
Contents of the article:
The desire does not disappear, but returns to normal
This opinion is shared by many scientists who have studied this issue. Wild times of passion are not the norm when we want to be in bed with the comfortable and the less comfortable. This is an increase in sexual desire, which to some extent should become the norm when the need for sexual intercourse several times a day disappears due to the establishment of a stable, long-term relationship.
What is a standard? Unfortunately, there is no exact answer that would apply equally to everyone. This is a very individual concept. If you both don’t see anything wrong with passion coming once a week, then there is no problem, your relationship is harmonious and balanced. If one of you is starting to suffer from a lack of passion and affection, there are things you can pay attention to.
First of all, quantity does not mean quality. Days of “mating in soup” give way to mutual understanding, deep knowledge of each other’s needs and preferences, and mutual penetration of sexual fantasies. When your intimate relationships are harmonious, they move to qualitatively different levels, where the number of sexual acts is not as important as their content.
Secondly, you’re close enough to feel free to try new things. Your diversity, you think, allows you to incorporate sexual practices you’ve never tried before. Visit a sex shop, buy a new toy, and think about what exotic elements you can add to your intimate life. Some people try the unusual contributions of Kama Subhashtra, others explore a simple form of fetishism, and still others are familiar with the basics of BDSM culture. The main thing is that you both enjoy it—and that’s what matters. But sometimes you need to try at least once, whether you understand your own approach or not. Be free to do so; you still have your whole life ahead of you!
Physical and psychological fatigue
Another important factor affecting the intensity of intimacy is the physical and mental state of your partner. Domestic life isn’t a carefree encounter at a convenient time, but rather the same “sorrow and joy,” and you don’t necessarily have to be sad to lose interest in intimate love. It’s simply chronic fatigue, lack of sleep, exhausting work, and the general appearance of children picking at the scraps of time and effort, not getting physical, loving rest.
Read also: How to bring passion back into a relationship with your husband in a long marriage?
years ago, they couldn’t get enough of each other; today, desire has long since faded into the background, and sex happens at best once a month. Is it possible?
Psychologists are convinced that sex is one form of psychological intimacy and one of the most energy-consuming. The sensations of watching a favorite TV series together or walking together in the park allow us to feel much-needed warmth and closeness, but, like in the gym, especially after that’s no longer the case, we don’t necessarily have to go all the way to the left. Therefore, it’s not surprising that stable couples prefer more gentle ways to spend time with each other.
But what if you want passion and love? There’s only one way to free your time from all sorts of worries. For example, take a vacation, relax, get some sleep, send your children to summer camp or to their grandparents’, and soon a whole host of new erotic exploits will emerge.
Accumulated problems within relationships
A decrease in attractiveness is associated with both internal and external issues. Accumulated mutual grievances will sooner or later undermine the relationship, and this manifests itself primarily in the intimate sphere.
Satya. Is it possible to return the old passion to a relationship?
Your passions cool, you do nothing to prevent it, and the result is disastrous: a broken marriage consisting of people who no longer love each other or who are no longer loved in divorce. And it’s hard to say which of the two options is worse.
How can I help? Only reliable communication can help. Communication helps to avoid problems and not accumulate troubles. If you cannot find reasons for breaking up together, but want to maintain a warm and loving relationship, you should contact a professional. Not all marriage therapists are created equal, but finding one that’s right for you is always a good idea. An online consultation may be sufficient, but many specialists accept consultations via Skype.
Getting too close
Men sometimes joke: “Who are you to poke a cat at such a beautiful woman?” But there is some truth in every joke. Excessive reconciliation between loving people can, paradoxically, destroy their sexual interest in each other. How can I help?
Try to find ways to show individuality in your relationship.
Find new areas of interest if your “love” hobbies do not coincide with your partner’s interests, and remind yourself and your partner that you are two individuals, not “two halves of the same whole.” You have decided to build a life together. Some distance in a relationship helps breathe new life into it.
