Fantasies about other partners — mental betrayal or a common thing?
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Do you know how one statistical study surprised sexologists? The study found that more than 45% of women and about 40% of men imagine other people rather than their partners during sex. Yes, yes, dear reader, you probably do. Otherwise, your girlfriend is dreaming of someone else. However, experts should not blame each other for this, since they are convinced that such fantasies are common, normal and very healthy and do not at all indicate a desire to change. And in this article we will try to understand how it works.
Contents of the article:
Why do we need an imaginary partner?
Of course, if your loved one has these thoughts, it can negatively impact your relationship and even make you question the sincerity of their feelings. How did this happen? Psychologists have a fairly convincing answer to this question, but not everyone can accept it.
The fact is that, despite all our beliefs to the contrary, we often ourselves do not know what we want. In addition, the process of self-analysis, especially regarding sexual desires, is a complex, lengthy and not always effective process. We are more likely to get stuck in endless self-analysis than to clearly define our desires and the reasons for their occurrence. Add to this the aura of shame, taboo and shyness associated with the topic of sex in our culture, and you get sad results. It is much easier to fantasize in your head than to share your thoughts with your partner and make excuses. For them.
You don”t have to justify yourself to your imaginary partner. He does not judge, there is no shame before Him, and you do not need to go deep with Him. But that”s not the only reason we fantasize about others. What else can you fantasize about?
Lack of novelty
In long-term relationships, partners get used to each other. The positive result of this habit is mutual understanding and trust; negative — lack of novelty, and you begin to look for it in fantasies. Imagining someone else instead of your partner is a simple and natural way to experience new and unique sensations. Often these imaginary partners are complete strangers to us, for example, movie stars, fashion models, famous athletes, etc. Or even fictional characters from movies, cartoons and comics!
Read also: How to force your partner to confess to cheating and is it worth it?
Corruption can destroy relationships, but people do it all the time. According to statistics, from 30% to 50% of Europeans change partners at least once (indicators.
Such fantasies can have a beneficial effect on relationships, bringing novelty to them and allowing sex to become a sexual adventure. If routine and monotony negatively affect relationships.
So there is no cause for concern in such fantasies?
Not really. If all your sexual activity involves fantasizing about others, this is something to think about. It”s one thing if these fantasies arise only from time to time, and quite another if they become an obsession and you constantly imagine someone else instead of your partner. This situation is no longer normal.
Cheating, piquant fantasies, delayed ejaculation
Avoid boredom and bring variety!
If constant fantasies about imaginary partners are a problem, you can solve it yourself. There are many ways to add variety to your relationship, and this site has many articles on the topic. Only you know which path is right for you. We will try to offer several.
If you find that your partner is increasingly being replaced by other people, why not try role-playing games? Try to create an external image of a person who is not you. Play as nurse and patient, guard and prisoner, or even dress up as a superhero and fight crime together. No, the latter is best dealt with in your imagination, and the real criminals are best left to the police. Find the gift of reincarnation in yourself and become one for a while, trying out both the inner life of another hero and the outer appearance. Many couples find this type of sexual activity exciting and refreshing for the relationship.
If you don”t want to change yourself, change your environment. If your entire sexual relationship is limited to a half-hearted exchange of caresses on one couch, try having sex somewhere else. Even in an apartment, this can be done in the kitchen or on the floor, but no one dares to take a spontaneous step or rent a romantic room for two in a good hotel.
Don”t be afraid to experiment. If you do this, your unhealthy fantasies will soon subside and be replaced by a healthy sexual interest in new uncharted territories that you can explore together!
