Why are you jealous of your ex-boyfriend or how to stop screwing yourself up
Everyone asks questions to the world and to themselves, and many answer to the reflection in the mirror. And everything seems to be correct — you are educated, even better than all men, with a prestigious job, life experience, a genetic figure and a face with no malice, but there are still men who are not suitable for you at all.
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They condition someone, someone who has not studied at all, but has such poor experience that he has been working since he was 16, while for others, the work never seems to end. As a result, he feels different, less pure, experienced and beautiful. And you sit and think why am I 100 times worse off with my ex-man than with my new one. It”s worth it and even better. But somehow it doesn’t stick.
It’s old and it’s a shame to throw it away
This is the opinion of every third girl who cannot let go of her man for various reasons. All the blame is female selfishness. Now he is already close, but to no avail, and nothing works out. He sits, plays on the chariot, does not wash the dishes, earns little, but the sex is good. After all, that bastard will find someone better if he has to. Such people never go unnoticed. They always have a backup plan and solution for all occasions.
From my own experience I can say that I had a husband. I don”t take and I don”t give. work — and by a lucky chance a child was born. The salary was enough for several weeks; we actually lived with the child and breastfed him, if necessary, at night. And now for two years the marriage did not last long, divorce, alimony. Of course, no one pays for the latter, but I forgot to think about the children — they were my children.
Almost five years passed, but the feeling of ownership did not leave. This went on for a long time until I myself began to forget about it. The first year was painful and humiliating at the thought of being somewhere else and somewhere else. And they didn”t get divorced because of this. And they talked after parting. When there was no answer, he began to persistently ask. I was so proud that I let him forget.”
This means that everything has its limits. You can”t live with the thought of certain commitments. It”s work, a failed marriage. There”s a beginning and an end. And it lives in a woman”s head, but a happy ending is not to be expected. Naturally, women can”t get anything out of their heads. Especially when a child, the spitting image of their father, is sleeping nearby. And God forbid that someone interrupts their relationship due to the similarities and resemblances of their characters.
Deja vu after a few years
Another category of unfortunate situations can arise in situations where a woman hasn”t seen her lover for a long time. Months or years later, she sees him on the horizon, emotions flare, and she wonders why it”s her ex. It seems like so much time has passed.
Psychologists call this phenomenon an unfinished emotional relationship. When you live in the shadows and wait, you hope that the relationship will resume and your ex will return to the status of your current boyfriend. If burnout occurs due to a lack of contact, then after a while, everything returns. Time only deals with results, but the brain doesn”t let go of positive memories that need to be remembered.
For this reason, in the absence of clear hope, a girl switches to a state of unconscious expectation, but faith is present. You”re not always the last to die, and you rarely go anywhere. To avoid tormenting yourself, you need to clearly understand that everything comes to an end. If you don”t break out of this state, you can forever forget that you have an individual and that you”re not half of someone from the past.
Immature relationships
There are songs like “I don”t like this, but,” and this “but” always appears unexpectedly. Young people are together, but something is always wrong with them. Egoism appears. A sense of possessiveness arises in the background. Endless dependency develops, and when the couple breaks up, an emptiness appears. This is a syndrome of depression, an unwillingness to live, and an unwillingness to eat ice cream like last time.
And this lasts for weeks or months. Because then the girl finds something better or steps on the same rake. Powerful circles close in, and it becomes impossible to distinguish who is who. Furthermore, perhaps it”s not worth pursuing this topic and explaining what happens when two men flicker before the eyes of a loving woman.
- Jealousy toward the former can lead to regular attacks. The receptors through which a person experiences feelings of hate and love are affected. This isn”t true compassion, because women can”t distinguish between love for goodness and love for selfishness.
- When a man loves, he likes his condition next to a woman.
- And when she loves, she likes how a man thanks her for dinner, cleaning and a pleasant evening.
Read also: How to stop being jealous of a guy and how to save a relationship?
Even feelings for loved ones bypass some people. This means that the person is very important and does not want to share with anyone else. In fact, it is.
That”s the difference. This is why someone can leave a relationship as if it were a bad game, while someone else suffers.
Feeling insecure
Unless you want to give up your “reason” to be beautiful. After parting, the girl cleans herself up and goes shopping. Instead of leaving a sick relationship, the girl becomes like a toilet. Depression begins because the person who pushed her forward has simply disappeared.
Imagine a person who cannot do anything for himself. No need to look for a job, no need to cook soup. And here is a woman who knows everything, can do everything. And when the wife goes on vacation, she panics. Who will cook and run the house? Often in such relationships the girl becomes a nanny or mother. You”re not sleeping with a man, so it hurts.
However, it is important that girls do not lose confidence. Some couples prohibit their men from wearing dresses or skirts because they are insecure and afraid that their loved ones will be taken away.
He does not allow them to show this and allows them to create a feeling of inferiority in the girl. She thinks her legs are crooked, her dress makes her look old, etc. And if he”s still talking about his age, or how poorly his jacket fits, or how crooked his feet are in those high heels. Write in vain.
In such relationships, the man zombifies the girl and dominates her. What if she wants to become more beautiful and better? We have to do something about this because she”s not a good person, she”s a good person, she”s a good person. And after the breakup, she still doesn”t dare to wear her favorite outfit, an outfit that she thinks is beautiful.
Unexpected intimacy
When a relationship is truly worthwhile, when a man and woman are completely open in bed, a breakup hits hard. There is real trauma as well as addiction. It”s worth talking about blocking syndrome here. A relationship cannot be established until the previous relationship is completed. The girl cannot approach anyone, there is increased aggressiveness and a feeling of guilt for illusions of happiness that are not maintained.
Jealousy — what are the causes of jealousy? how to stop being jealous?
- The girl becomes a silhouette, stalking the young man in order to interfere with his personal life.
- By any means possible, tripping over his feet, she climbs to where he is.
- Even when she gets married, there is no respite.
Persecution arises, which helps her forget about the wonderful relationship. This should be treated only with a new love. As the saying goes, fire with fire, but happiness cannot be built. Because of this, many women try to rekindle their former lovers, despite the fact that both are now able to live in a family.
How to deal with jealousy?
They appear to observe a partner who is happy with another. The complex arises from a sense of contradiction. He liked the former, but his tastes have changed, and he now prefers brunettes, not blondes. It seems he wasn”t living to his full potential, but he was seeking the same, allowing himself to be loved. A former friend recommended:
- Conduct a personality analysis—how good is she, what insecurities does she have, what else can she cope with?
- Is this good? What character traits would be ideal for a relationship?
- Start a transformation, at least buy a bag, at least get a new haircut.
They say this image not only changes your appearance but also helps change your interior. When a new person appears in the mirror, you already see a different man next to her. The image is created, but this happens at some point. Psychology also recommends writing down your negative character traits on a piece of paper:
You need to work on them for the first few weeks to distract yourself from thoughts and obsessions. If the number is low, there are reasons to improve it. But she”s not running to her ex-partner, but to the future family she”ll create with a new man, rather than running to him.
Statistics show that over 55% of women suffer from feelings of inferiority. They differentiate between dissatisfaction with appearance and abilities. When men blame tension, they may assume the breakup occurred precisely because of this character trait. In everyday life, however, the woman is calm.
Therefore, it is recommended to keep an eye on them. Therefore, whether the breakdown occurred and whether she is responsible. Perhaps this person made him constantly nervous and drove him crazy.
And when the work on the mistakes has already been done, the woman herself can answer the question of why the ex-man who. Strangely enough, less than half of ex-wives do not worry about their ex-men. Perhaps the reasons for this are price, seeing clarity and knowing an undistorted idea of what it really is.
Girls should learn to value themselves after a quarrel or scandal, so that they do not have to seek forgiveness for their reaction to his incomprehensible behavior. And the further you move towards the truth, the easier it is to get out of the sleep of love.
Maybe you can also advise finding ways to stop hating the first ones? I”ll explain this in the next post!
