25 Tips for Proper Anal Sex

Warm up before exercise and foreplay before anal sex.
Think adding anal play to your sexual repertoire means you”re in trouble? No such luck! Anal foreplay may not be penetrative at all. If you”re looking for variety or simply taking the time to caress your anus before diving into anal sex, anal foreplay can be a very enjoyable addition to your sex life.
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These days, anal sex is no longer the taboo it once was. That”s a good thing. Many women say they”re happy with this addition to their sexual repertoire. Before you can run, you need to learn to walk. Therefore, some anal foreplay is required before full-fledged anal sex. In any case, it”s up to you. Your ass, your rules.
Always use lube and avoid inserting the penis into the mouth or vagina immediately after anal sex. A fork is your friend. However, there”s still a lot to learn about anal play. That”s why we”ve compiled a list of tips that are perfect for both beginners and experienced players. Good luck!
25 Tips
- Treat your anus like a door, literally.
Foreplay is as important as ringing the doorbell before entering. Before inserting anything, massage and warm up your anus, explains Ishana Walsh, founder of the sexual health app Coral. Be a good guest (even if you”re the host). Don”t be a Hulk on a barge.”
- Provide a “resting place” for toys and lubricants.
Some toy users learn to carry a small handkerchief where they can safely place their toys when not in use, explains Angela Watson. By planning ahead, you can enjoy the process instead of worrying about the details.
- First, stimulate the anus.
“Just because you have an anus doesn”t mean you have to have anal sex,” says Gigi Engle. While internal stimulation can be intense, “you can get the same pleasure without putting anything in your anus,” explains Engle. Massage or lick the anus, she adds.
“Clitoral stimulation is very important during anal play, as it helps the vaginal owner relax and become fully aroused,” says Ang. You can choose a traditional vibrator or a suction toy.
Nipple toys simulate oral sex, so if your partner is only focusing on one area, you can get more aroused with a pacifier toy and target multiple areas at once.
- Try warm lube.
Warming lubricants help enhance pleasure and comfort. The heat created brings blood flow to the desired area and helps increase stimulation of the pleasure receptors in the anus,” explains Dr. Nikit Sompal, MD, of Brookdale Hospital Medical Center. According to Dr. Sompala, the active ingredient in these lubricants is propylene glycol, the same substance used in Fireball whiskey. Some other brands use capsaicin, the active ingredient in peppers. In any case, warm lubricants are suitable for both anal and vaginal use (there is no need to buy another special warming lubricant). Be careful touching your eyes, warns Dr. Sompal!
There are many muscles around the anus that can become very tight if they are not relaxed. And, logically, if these muscles and the anal sphincter are tense, inserting anything will be painful, difficult and not very pleasant. Try things like deep breathing and relaxing massage to make sure you and your muscles are very relaxed for anal play.
Read also: How to have anal sex? What to do before, during and after
Whether you”re a beginner or a complete expert in anal play, knowing how to prepare for anal sex is the key to having fun.
- Prepare the genital area.
Sex can be messy sometimes, and anal sex and foreplay are no exception. If this results in you not being able to relax and enjoy yourself, try preparing your space in advance. For example, you can remove the sheets from the bed or cover the blankets with soft, washable textiles.
- You might be tempted to go to the toilet, but that”s not the case!
Our fifth point is that there are a lot of intense endings (that”s why they are included in foreplay and anal play), but that doesn”t mean you can make them clearly understand whether it will come out or not. You can stop having sex at any time, but know that these sensations may occur due to new stimulation and not as a sudden sign of emptying your bowels.
Sex therapist Jill McDevitt says you need to provide yourself with a quality water-based lubricant. She makes the massage even better. Even if your pre-lube isn”t designed for penetration yet, lube will increase sensitivity.
McDevitt also recommends trying a vibrating massager. Apply it to the anus. However, do not insert it into the toy or insert it into the toy in a circle around the hole. External anal vibration adds a completely new sensation. Alternating between vibrations and fingers can be truly arousing.
- Pay attention to your buttocks.
Just because your ultimate goal is anal sex doesn”t mean you should ignore your partner”s “buts.” Sadie Ellison, the founder of a large online sex shop, recommends starting with a sensual massage of the “but” area. Using lube, “place your thumbs in the crease, touch your feet at the but area, and slide your thumbs hanging down and out along the rag. Repeat several times. Then put your hand in a prayer position, place it on your tailbone and slide it up and down the but area.”
- It shouldn”t hurt
Grease coming out! Feeling like you need to go to the toilet. Relax your muscles and breathe,” advises sexologist Emily Morse. “Use water-based lubricants.”
Did you know that it is impossible to tickle yourself? They”re not the same thing, but trial self-anal foreplay is based on the same principle. You won”t be so surprised when you touch yourself. It”s not the same as from a partner, but it”s a good way to feel yourself and your feelings.
- This is where sex in the shower or bathtub is really good.
It is usually difficult to have sex in the shower successfully. However, relaxation is the key here, so it can be helpful to try anal play in a calm, relaxing place.
How to have anal sex and properly prepare for it [secrets center]
- Start small.
To prepare your anus for sex play, start with your fingers, tongue, or very small adult toys designed for anal sex,” says sexologist Nancy Sutton Pierce. “To practice, buy a plug set containing several different sizes of plugs.”
There are many nerve endings in the anus that you stimulate. Rimming, or also known as anilingus, is the stimulation of the anus with the tip of the tongue. Imagine it”s a basketball hoop. The ball rolls along the rim of the basket and does not fall into it.
- Can change position.
No, street style clothing is not the only position. You can try different positions, such as lying on your back and sitting on your hips, or sitting on your back and straddling yourself. Change positions until you find the position in which you feel most comfortable.
The only way to know what works and what doesn”t is to be completely honest with your partner. You should always listen to what your partner feels and says about your preferences.
According to sexologist Kat van Kirk, the anus and lower rectum contain very little feces, so they”re not as dirty as you might think.
- Everything can be very clear.
The key to anal sex is comfort. Do whatever you need to do to keep your thoughts from getting in your way. Using anal rinses is harmless as long as you don”t do them too often and can help relieve bowel concerns,” advises Pierce.
- More stimulation is better.
Vaginal, pubic or nipple — depending on what suits you best. Most women cannot achieve orgasm with anal stimulation alone. “The anal part is an accent. It complements the overall process,” says Ian Kerner, sex expert, researcher and author. By the way, women who engage in anal sex report orgasm more often than those who do not engage in it. As they say.
Napkins are a must-have for every bedside table, says Kerner.
- If you don”t like it after a few tries, don”t keep doing it just because “you”ll get over it.”
“If you have an attentive, caring lover, you will know within the first five times whether you like him or not,” says Kerner, explaining that this depends on many factors. I”ve met women who didn”t like oral sex at first because they were embarrassed, but now they love it. It depends on how you feel about your partner and your body. If everything is fine, but you don’t like the process of anal sex, you will soon understand everything.
- No need to remove it
Most women don”t do deep bikini waxing for anal foreplay,” Kerner says, based on her research.






