14 female habits that reduce arousal in men
What irritates and upsets men in bed? What women”s habits seem most unexpected to them? Sociable users on Reddit decided to share their grief with each other. It turned out to be a real collection of male revelations.
Contents of the article:
- Lie on the bed like a starfish
- Kissing a man with closed lips
- Complain about life during sex
- Lack of flirting
- Animals in bed
- “Aggressive” handjob
- Game of one (women”s gate)
- Teeth during blowjob
- Oral sex too fast
- Leave hickeys
- Impatience
- Lack of interest in his desires
- Lack of confidence
- Lack of attention to one”s appearance
Lie on the bed like a starfish
A complete lack of initiative may be a fetish for some, but most people want their partners to be active participants in the process. Do girls really dream about the same thing?
Do whatever you want with me, and I will follow you” — such games can be really hot. But when this happens constantly, a person gradually begins to boil.
A Reddit user (and users) commented.
- “Greetings from a former starfish! I was like that because of inexperience, because I didn’t know what to do. And I never finished. The partners I also came across were inexperienced and did not know what to do and how. During the foreplay there was still some fun, but as soon as the action itself began, I stopped taking an active part.
Plus, I do have back problems and a hip injury, so even typical movements during missionary sex were painful. I couldn”t stand it for long.
But when I was under 30 years old, I met my husband. He was older and taught me everything. Now we have great sex. I”m so sorry about my ex who I just laid down” cotisabrownishcolor.
- “As you can see from the comment above, the main thing is to find your ideal partner. Everyone has their own path. Don”t blame yourself.” — superduperpuppy
- “Starfish really do exist. I also came across it several times. Everyone has their own reasons for this behavior.
Did you have friends in my college who didn”t respond to sex? As a result, I constantly stopped in the process. Because without feedback it looks like violence against someone who doesn’t want it. And when I stopped, she said, “What are you doing? I”m almost done.”
And for all this I had to speculate?
But then, when we broke up, I found out why she was like that. It turned out that when she moved and made sounds during sex, her ex was POSSESSING her. Then I felt like crap.” — Steggeler
- “My ex also constantly humiliated me during sex, no matter what I did. As a result, I lost the desire to take initiative. It seems to me that such traumatic experiences among girls are much more common than you might imagine. I hope this girl meets someone who will help her open up.” — barbaramillicent.
- “I was like that too. And my ex was like that. He gave me a lot of complexes about my body. I couldn”t even have sex in the light. And if I touched myself, he was disgusted.
With my current boyfriend, everything has changed. My self-confidence took off like a rocket. I felt beautiful and special. He never shaved me because of my body and behavior.
He created the Tigress from the stars” — mewtwothree666.
Kissing a man with closed lips
Gentle and light kisses are also in order. But sometimes men really want passion.
- “You can start with a light kiss. It”s like a game. And then add some tongue and teeth, especially as you move forward to the neck” — Calrebsofgix.
Complain about life during sex
Complaints about jackdowns and life are generally unpleasant. And when it starts at the most inopportune moments. Complete anti-sex!
- “This is completely inappropriate. Why do this at all? It ruins the whole mood,” deleted.
- “Are there girls who really do this?” — User3108_4.
- “In bed, only dirty words are appropriate (if they turn you on) and tips like do this, move faster, deeper, etc. Everything else should be discussed only after you have finished,” deleted.
Lack of flirting
Just because you”ve been in a relationship for a long time or live together doesn”t mean you can forget about flirting. You love each other, don”t you? Do you find each other attractive? Then why not enjoy it?
- “Four years together. We flirt every day,” potterartist.
- “I”m a girl. We’ve been together for six years, we flirt all the time,” saturdaysunne.
- “We”ve been together for seven and a half years. My husband rolls his eyes when I use pick-up lines on him, but he always laughs them off,” — Riska89.
- “If everything is going well in a relationship, there will always be flirting,” — deleted.
Animals in bed
Pets are rays of sunshine in the dark sky of our existence. Yet, many men admit they can”t have sex and are under the watchful gaze of their beloved animals. For some reason, you feel ashamed.
- “I always remove the puppy and cat from the room when something is looming. They”re like children. And we don”t have sex in front of children,” — my_cat_is_alive.
- “I can”t even masturbate when the dog is in my room. She starts watching me. And even if she doesn”t understand what I”m doing (or does she?), it”s still weird. She”s like a child,” — 09171.
- “Animals don”t belong in bed.” What if they secretly film it all and then show it to their friends? — deleted.
- “My dog watches it very closely and always looks unimpressed by my talents—he looks like a real stallion. So I try my best to live up to his standards,” — SleepPingGiant.
“Aggressive” handjob
Every man has his own level of sensitivity and preferences. However, when a girl tries to hide her inexperience with handjobs by being overly aggressive, most men don”t like it.
- “It”s even worse when she does it aggressively, without removing her rings,” — deleted.
- “Please don”t tug on it.” — deleted.
- “If you”re unsure, always ask. Does it hurt? Is it too tight? Should I go faster? Slower? And if the guy doesn”t respond and expects you to figure it out, then walk away,” — diver_climber.
- “Don”t watch what they do in porn.” And even the way I do it. The advantage of a handjob is your presence. Porn and masturbation are pathetic parodies. Move slower. Look him in the eyes. Talk. This way, along with physical pleasure, you”ll give him emotions as well,” wufoo2.
Read also: 7 Masturbation Habits That Ruin a Man”s Sex Life
Masturbation is a natural process, but everything has its limits. Furthermore, masturbation can seriously harm your intimate life. 7 Bad Habits
Game of one (women”s gate)
For the right man, it is important that his partner enjoys sex. They love to see girls enjoying the process, and many admit that they really enjoy performing cunnilingus. But when the games take place at the same gates, it’s somehow. Is this unfair?
- “Being selfish in bed is good to some extent, but it’s still a two-way street,” drawinglizards.
- “I like to please a girl and I won’t force her to do anything she doesn’t like. But I also want my partner to try for me,” deleted.
- “If a girl doesn”t give blowjobs because of a traumatic experience, I can understand, it”s okay. If she thinks that “this is too low for her” or she simply doesn’t care about the guy’s pleasure, then this is clearly a wake-up call,” us11_35.
Teeth during blowjob
The mere thought of such “caresses” makes men cower with fear. Such tender parts of the male body do not tolerate violence!
- “Only lips and tongue. Just think about your clitoris. Imagine someone using their teeth on it.” — kilomike73
- “Imagine how it would feel if you were bitten on the clitoris. Teeth during a blowjob are terrible. No need. Use them on other parts of the body, but not there,” deleted.
- “No teeth! This is as unpleasant and painful as possible. These sensations then stay with me for several hours or even one or two days,” deleted.
- “It hurts and immediately kills the whole mood. Manhood is not meant for biting,” _why_do_U_ask.
Oral sex too fast
4 Habits That Increase Estrogen in Men
- “Blowjobs are more enjoyable when the girl enjoys the process. If it”s not, it”s always noticeable.” — ThatRookieGuy80.
- “Yes, it’s really noticeable. And immediately all desire disappears.” — deleted.
- “It’s even worse when she says ‘I can’t stand blowjobs’ and then puts the dick in her mouth. Terrible.” — BiggestOfTheBizzles.
- “Blowjob is done not with the mouth, but with the heart,” — MantisToboggan_md1.
- “The girls who give the best blowjobs are the ones who enjoy it themselves,” ksmith11011.
Leave hickeys
Some men like to make such marks on their bodies. However, many people consider this to be teenage fun, and it is also not sexy at all.
- “Many people don’t like hickeys because they look so-so. When I was a teenager, I liked giving and receiving hickeys. Now that I’m an adult, I think it all looks stupid,” prettyraver.
- “I’m a woman and I like the sensations themselves, but I’m ashamed to walk around with hickeys — it’s too personal, the whole world shouldn’t see what we do with our partner. My man also doesn’t like it when I leave hickeys in a visible place,” jemangedspapillons.
- “Hickeys break down the wall between private and public. What I do with my girlfriend should be kept behind closed bedroom doors. I don”t want my family and colleagues to see what I do. Hickeys are part of that private area of my life that I do not intend to show to anyone.
And in general, how can you look good in the office at a meeting with something like that around your neck? — Borkmeister.
- “In high school there was something to it because hickeys meant you were having sex. Although I didn’t understand it then. Now that you’ve already graduated from university and all that, it just looks weird,” deleted.
Impatience
This applies not only to manual or oral caresses, but to all sex in general. If your girlfriend is not interested in having sex with you and wants to get it over with quickly, this can ruin the whole desire.
Even if you have big things to do after sex (like taking the clothes out of the washing machine), don”t rush your man. Ultimately, neither of them will enjoy sex.
- “The last time they told me ‘go faster, you’re fussing too much’, I said ‘ok’ and just stopped everything that second. I don”t like having sex with people who don”t want to have sex with me.” — AskNYoullGet.
- “My ex was like, ‘Get over it already,’ and I always took that to mean, ‘I didn’t really want to start all this,’” jswede42.
- “I”m a girl. I want to say that this works both ways. When a guy asks “are you close?” I just. Seriously? If you”re asking this, something is clearly wrong. I’ll just fake it and run away,” shensrealgothgf.
- “Come on, hurry up, the machine has finished washing,” she said. I never came that day, but I had clean and ironed clothes,” deleted.
Lack of interest in his desires
This does not always mean spoiling a person, far from it. The girl is not obliged to make all her partner”s fantasies come true, but the selfish thing here is that she does not care at all about his pleasure.
- “Selfish partners rarely change. If she knows, for example, that she can do a minimum of actions and still receive cunnilingus, then she will never change for the sake of a guy. More precisely, for the sake of the one who endures it. But for the sake of someone else, that’s fine,” -frick-a-frack.
- “If a girl is not at all interested in what you want in bed, you should stop and think. Over time, everything will only get worse. Is this the kind of future you want for yourself?” — deleted.
- “Everyone deserves a partner who cares about your pleasure. I couldn’t date someone who was selfish,” deleted.
- “Life is too short for lousy lovers,” whevblsht.
Lack of confidence
Men understand that many girls may feel constrained and awkward in the early stages of a relationship, as well as due to inexperience. However, this does not change the fact that, being self-confident, relaxed and devoid of complexes, women are still considered the sexiest men in the world.
- “Active participation in the process is the best demonstration of confidence,” — GrimmandLily.
- “A confident girl is one who is truly relaxed and not afraid to be funny. And also takes initiative,” middaysun.
- “Talking dirty takes a lot of confidence and courage. You also need to be creative. Otherwise, things get very awkward. It’s also great when a girl can laugh at some physiological awkwardness and it’s impossible to throw her off balance and distract her from the process,” SerPuissance.
- “Some of the girls I was with were embarrassed to masturbate in bed, but I really love it. It”s hot and I think it shows confidence. Well, in general, confidence lies in actively demonstrating that you are passionate about the process,” TheNeckbeardKing.
Lack of attention to one”s appearance
Each person has their own ideas about care and preferences. For some, the lack of pedicure and hair removal is the norm, but for others it is a serious negative. What do Reddit users think about this?
- “I like well-groomed nails on girls. I notice this right away,” IamNtoDurnk.
- “If a girl is generally attractive, then beautiful nails add even more points,” Doxep.
- “I love it when my woman is very feminine and well-groomed. Good makeup, earrings, beautiful hair and nails excite me,” deleted.
- “Personality is very important, but when a girl doesn’t care about her appearance and it goes beyond all limits, there’s not much sex in it,” hipp05_15.
- “I will not go on a date with a woman I don’t like in appearance,” CanadianStatement.
- “Taking care of yourself is very important. I don”t care about height or weight per se; I just want my woman to take care of herself,” eperman.
- “Personally, I don”t like body hair. I know it”s unfair. I know these are societal standards. I know you”re free to do whatever you want with your body. I understand that, and I don”t force anyone to follow my preferences.
However, when I get into bed with a girl who hasn”t shaved her legs or armpits, I lose my arousal. It”s not very smart, but it doesn”t matter.
Besides, I don”t expect girls to shave every day. Looking smooth or not is more important to me. I like smooth skin, but I understand that maintaining it is difficult.
