Drunk Sex — 13 Real Stories from People Who Did It While Intoxicated
Alcohol makes classes interesting. Sex is fun on its own, but with booze, it can turn into a real adventure. Recalling these stories is sometimes awkward, sometimes funny. A Reddit user shared the most unusual case when something went wrong in bed after a strong drink.
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13 Drunk Sex Stories
- It happened eight or nine years ago, when I was in high school. My girlfriend and I decided to invite some friends over to have sex. When we finished, hugging and kissing, she suddenly asked me, “What do you want to do? I”d like to try warm lube.” I replied, “Yes, I”ve always been interested in experimenting.” We approached the second entrance, and she said, “Shall we try this now?” I said, “Are you kidding? As if I”ve always worn this.” But the addiction, combined with excitement, drove me to mischief, and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I went to the bathroom, where I found some liquid soap. “A good alternative,” I said, pressing the bottle twice heartily, and returned to the bedroom. He smeared the girl”s intimate area with this soap and continued. During the process, she told him, “It hurts. This hurts too.” And I was wearing a condom, so I don”t think it was very effective. When it was over, I went home. The next morning, he met her friend at school—she was walking like a duck and complaining that her vagina had never been tortured. Indeed, people around me decided I had an incredibly large penis—and these rumors led to a special reputation among the girls at our school.
He fell asleep at three in the morning, drunk on smoke, but tried to perform cunnilingus first.
- Are you already asleep? — Hey, are you going to continue? We found ourselves in an embrace with her, especially in the bedroom. I got up with difficulty. I worked hard, even brought one of the members into a fighting state, but I managed to lower the semiconductor — and hear a delightful farting sound. A few minutes later, a disgusting smell reached me, as if a wall of used diapers had materialized nearby. “Damn, this girl has some kind of terrible venereal disease,” I thought. I pull out, turn on the light and see my partner lying in a sea of crap. It was smeared all over the bed, penetrated her vagina and even penetrated me under the condom. And I myself am in this garbage. It was the worst sex of my life.
My best friend and I somehow got mixed up with twins. I always joked that one day they would switch places to see if we could tell them apart.
- That night, my friend and I got a little naughty and pulled his girlfriend out of bed. Everyone thought that he himself had retired. I undressed, but as soon as the girl started burying me, I realized that something was wrong. I looked closer — damn, it”s her sister. I came up with something better than jumping naked, went into my friend’s room and told him everything. He fell asleep face down. It”s like my girlfriend is nearby. And they still don”t know about this matter.
One day in 2010, I went to Vegas to see the Backstreet Boys. After the event, my friends and I were already drunk and showed up at one of the dubious nightclubs, where the girls poured drinks for free. I ran further and met a man who took me to his room. But he couldn’t insert it right away — something inside prevented him. Then I remember that I”m on my period — and I continue to pull out the menstrual cup. There”s blood all over the bed. But that didn”t bother us. After sex, we had a depressing conversation about how we had come to live this way, and on that depressing note we parted. Then I got lost in the hotel and wandered through broken times with tears in my eyes. When I found a room, I wrote a note to my friend: “Forgive me,” she hid in the bathroom and shrunk.
- Last year I lived in a college town known for its parties. One day, a message came from my high school crush: “Hey, my friends and I are going to a BG party, would you like to join us?”
- I agreed. She showed up with two very beautiful friends and we split up. When we got home, I thought, “But now I can make a mess every chance I get.” As soon as they approached me, my girlfriend immediately fell off. Only my love remained on my leg, and I thought: “Nothing is lost yet, we will be together.” I carried her to the bedroom, and when I was in the middle of my goal, the girl suddenly began to cry. Being the gentleman that I am, I asked what the problem was and she replied, “I have a boyfriend.” What are you doing here? I persuaded her to continue. And I”m not at all ashamed.
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13 real stories of sex with a stranger and a stranger Sex with a stranger is a fairly common fantasy among men and women. Sometimes such thoughts come after relaxing with a loved one and in moments when we arrived at college, during a cigarette break, my friend told me a story about how he fell asleep, and I told her that I lived in the same room with him for several weeks, and that he lived in the same room with me for several weeks. We worked together as gardeners that summer, and I imagined how exhausted he was, but I still didn’t understand how this was possible.
- The next night at a party I drank a lot. The girl and I went home by taxi. I persuaded her to give me a blowjob, she began to do something. After the heart failure, the next memory occurred — I open my eyes and see her tear-stained eyes with tears. I couldn”t suppress my laughter at the realization that I was in the same situation as my friend. I did it in vain — I had to sleep on the sofa. The girl swore that she would never suck me off again. Because after such a failure she felt terrible. But the next day she joked about it, and we are still together. I”m still embarrassed, but this is my coolest.
I got very drunk. I picked up a guy with painted eyes. In horseman”s position I screamed “cut me in the face” until he actually fell.
- But overall it wasn”t bad.
Preface: College, I”m a Virgin, Halloween. I was drunk from the disconnect.
- When I woke up, there was a hot blonde standing in front of me, protected by my clothes. The girl realized that I was no longer sleeping and spoke. She had a terrible wound on her arm. I asked what happened. The stranger replied that I dropped it during a drunken party and then tried to take it away. Crap. I apologized and offered to give her a ride. But her boyfriend had already left for her.
I realized that I woke up wearing the same pants I had on the day before. I myself didn’t remember anything — and I still didn’t understand whether he took her virginity that night.
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- As the evening drew to a close, many of the guests decided to stay with me. My best friend fell asleep in my room on the second bed and brought there a girl he met a few days before. My friend slept like the rocks and I managed to convince her that he would not harm us. Despite some problems with the whisky, we were persuaded to spend some time here. Finally, at 4 am I managed to come to my senses and get down to business, but at that moment there was a faint knock. I conquered him and became interested in the process. Then they rang the doorbell, which I didn”t mind, but there were a lot of people sleeping outside the door, someone would have opened it. Finally I knocked on the bedroom door. The girl pulled the blanket over herself. I grabbed another blanket, but for the sake of habituation and stimulation, I did not unfold it on myself, but simply covered myself with it like a cape, and subjugated my rock hard boner to the stretched condom.
I opened the door and expected to see one of my drunk friends and a friend of a friend of a friend sleeping in the next bed. By the way, I could see this particular bed from the corridor, and the sofa on which the girl was sitting was around the corner, so my first impression was ambiguous. The only thing I can say is: “He”s safe.” Here, with me.” — And all this with a ready member of the group. Only the next morning I was able to appreciate the whole picture. My friend”s father knew me since childhood, but he did not know that there was a girl in the room. All he saw was that I was clearly ready for sex, and my friend was sleeping next to him on the bed, covered with a blanket. Since then, we have never talked about this incident. We just pretend that nothing happened.
At the age of 16, I visited my best friend in another state for a week. The last evening of my stay was marked by a house party where I got a lot out of it. I met one guy who was already there. He was also 16 years old and came with his girlfriend. But he lost her virginity that night with me, so they had nothing (although my memory of it is very blurry).
- After it was over, I wanted to write. Wrapped in a blanket and wonderful, I got to the middle of the room — and realized that I had already written. There was no hurry, so I just continued to water the carpet. Then I went back to bed and had sex again. It is unlikely that the man noticed my stain on the carpet — we were drunk. However, the next day, a friend sent me a message about a puddle in my room. In the kitchen I met one of my neighbors. When she went to the toilet at night, I ran into her in the corridor. It was a cute girl with long blonde hair wearing my T-shirt. But this information did not jog my memory. Two weeks later I was sitting with my neighbor at a bar. When the man who saw my night visitor suddenly grabbed me by the hand and said: “There she is!” I said. I looked into the eyes of the delightful blonde my friend pointed out to, and she smiled back at me. I immediately said hello. It turned out that she was looking for comfort after a breakup with her ex, and my meeting with her turned out to be useful. I asked her out on a date and hid the fact that I didn’t remember anything about our evening together. But, unfortunately, a week later she agreed to the first one, and our conversation ended. I still don”t remember anything. Worse, it was the only way I could successfully pick up someone at a bar.
I don”t remember anything about my high school graduation. In the middle of that midnight, consciousness began to unfairly leave me. At first I thought he was playing with a friend. Then he left and met someone else.
- The next thing I knew, a classmate I had never spoken to was sitting on top of me. kissing me on the back lawn. They wanted to make the party big, so bouncers were hired in case of problems. Apparently the problem was caused by my drunken bum. One of the bandits came up and pulled the girl away from me. It didn”t hurt me because I knew I had worked with him once. I didn”t have the strength to catch up with them. I wandered towards the entrance — and while I was walking, I vomited due to the insane amount of alcohol I had drunk. A few months later I met school friends at another party. One of my friends, a girl, told me that I kissed her best friend at prom. It is alleged that I fondled her and she tried to take off my pants.
Cruel games of perverts — swindlers in networks — 05/11/2015
